I just so happen to be browsing around on the offender search on mi.gov and I put in an ex's name. I didnt think I was gonna see his name up there, but there it was. In jail for armed robbery. We didnt leave off on good terms but I know he doesn't have anyone else that cares enough to write him. I know I wouldn't scold him or ask "what were you thinking" or saying "I told you so" because that is the last thing anyone in jail needs to hear. Should I write him and give him encouraging words, like keep ya head up or dont drop the soap (j/k)?? but still.. If you were in jail, would you want to hear from your ex? And what encouraging words can I say?
Let me say that I am happily married to a man I've been with for 5+ years and have 2 beautiful little girls. I would not write for a relationship, I would write exactly what I said - encouraging words Please.. serious answers only
2006-11-12 05:48:34 · 17 answers · asked by A.J. 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I've asked my husband and he said "do what you feel, but make sure you dont lead him on, cause i dont want to kill nobody" .. lol..
And I dumped the ex back in the day for letting me down constantly with broken promises and stuff like that (military ball, prom,etc)
2006-11-12 05:56:51 · update #1
I think that you should just leave it alone. If you left off on bad terms, you may upset him by wriing to him. Also if you write to him, it may stir up a lot of trouble in your marriage or the ex may get the wrong idea. Just leave it alone.
2006-11-12 05:51:31 · answer #1 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer is absolutely NO. There is only - ONLY one reason I would and that is if the ex in jail was my child's father. Just maybe then I would write. You got rid of this loser once. Don't get involved again. Being in a relationship with a guy does not mean to feel sorry for them or pity them. No one has scolded him before and the Judge did that now. Let it be. Think about this armed robbery as in he had a gun and was ready to take hostages and kill for this money. Think on this what if you had moved on and got involved with a man who had kids. One day man was in the bank with his kids and your ex was robbing the bank brandishing a gun and killed one of the kids. Please girl get some sense and grow up. It appears you were getting control of your life and now are ready to mess it up again by letting that loser back into your life. Also why the hell are you searching the offender's website!!! Your choice to grow up and make your life better or go back to the sewer and live with him. I have had experience with this my ex was an offender as well. Then I saw the light and how crappy he was to his son and how badly he treated me and I cut him loose. And now my son and I have better lives.
2016-05-22 07:21:59 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well how would you correspond with this man. I cant see you being able to get a return letter at your house that you share with your husband. I know that encouragement is needed during this time but you are not the one that he needs it from. You have been married for 5 yrs and had no contact with your ex I think it needs to stay this way. What happens if he ask you to come and see him. This isnt fair to your husband. Yes your ex made a mistake and he does need someone they have pen pals that enjoy writing inmates let him find someone that can be there for him.
2006-11-12 05:55:39 · answer #3 · answered by justturning40 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Write him a note, if you must. And if you're going to bother, and if you're that concerned about his welfare, send him a ten or twenty dollar money order. Ask the correctional institute how you go about doing this. Some prisons will allow you to send it directly to the inmate.
If it gets a little out of hand, with him nagging you for money, or begging, then cut it off. Same applies if he starts to get romantic or intimate in any way.
Prison life is dangerous, violent, and depressing. Having a few dollars to buy snacks, stamps,personal hygiene items, or writing paper can make a difference. Things we take for granted are luxuries for inmates. Some prisons are a little better than others about what they provide prisoners. Trust me, though, people who claim that prisons are a country club are very misinformed. If you don't have a few dollars to spare, then a note is good, too.
2006-11-12 06:58:02 · answer #4 · answered by Angry Gay Man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you write to him, you will be inviting him into your life now, and when or if he ever gets out. Would you want him to be part of your life, would your husband, would your 2 beautiful little girls? If the answer to all of those questions is yes, then by all means write to him. If you have any doubt at all, leave well enough alone.
2006-11-12 05:54:55 · answer #5 · answered by Badkitty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say that you have a new life now, and it sounds like a great life. I dont see why you are worrying about him so much, he ****** up and well justice is being served.
I dont know why you would really want to encourage him, Either he will be happy that you wrote him and get the wrong idea about it all or he will be to proud of the fact someone cares and get pissed. Who know's, i say try not to burden ur life with his troubles. You have a family to watch out for and ur own life to to worry about. His is not ur problem any more, he ****** up and now he has to pay. Its life.
2006-11-12 05:55:57 · answer #6 · answered by Nicole S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say no, especially leaving off on bad terms. You said it yourself, you are married for 5+ years and have two children. Do you really want your ex in you life?? I had a similar instance and decided that writing would only bring him back into my life and I spent years trying to get him out of it. We just still feel sorry for them b/c they don't have anyone. That's not our fault and not our responsiblity. I say keep moving on with your life. Life is stressful enough w/o inviting bullshit into it. How would your husband feel about you writing your ex??? Consider him in all this, he is the one you chose!
2006-11-12 05:55:42 · answer #7 · answered by tiger4mel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what will this bring you? he is in jail,,yes words from someone he knows may help him through but you have moved on,,you have a life and a husband! this guy is in jail for a serious crime and he is being punished for it.do you really need this person in your life....what about when he comes out,,is it ok for him to visit you or do you not want that kind of person around your family? think hard before doing this ,,you dont really have anything to gain.i dont see the point in inviting a troubled part of your past into your life.
2006-11-12 06:13:09 · answer #8 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not a good idea! You have a great life now, don't ask for trouble getting involved with the past. How do you know he doesn't have anyone else who cares? it's been 5+ years, don't you think he's had some kind of life since you? It sounds more like you have unresolved feeling for him. Let it go and enjoy your life.
2006-11-12 06:02:55 · answer #9 · answered by fatbrat64 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask your husband first... so he doesnt get upset.
Other than that... if and i say IF... you know he has no other out there.. Words of encouragement, would be a nice surprise for him. Right now, he's probably feeling down and out.. and hearing kind words from someone he knows, might just make his day.
2006-11-12 05:55:56 · answer #10 · answered by debs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋