well.. not really my best friend but my really close friend. we started hanging out a few months ago and things were great.. we practically hung out everyday and we enjoy each other's company. i've gotten to know him so i fell easily. then one night, i was kind of drunk and i told him how i feel. after that, things got really awkward. i am willing to bury the feelings that i have just to save our friendship and hope that things will be just like it used to. what should i do??
2006-11-12 05:03:58 · 9 answers · asked by lostandconfused 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
was i wrong to tell him?
2006-11-12 05:07:09 · update #1
Tell him you were drunk, and you're not sure what you meant to be saying. Right now, your best bet is to play it down and deny, deny, deny until he feels comfortable being around you again.
2006-11-12 05:09:31 · answer #1 · answered by Aliza, Queen of the Night 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Better to be honest with yourself; this has changed the parameters of your relationship. Stop fooling yourself, the only reason you want to "save the relationship" is in hopes of hanging on long enough as a friend for this guy to change his mind. Your feelings are your feelings, and you're not going to be able to just turn them off.
I have some risky advice, but reward does not come without risk.
Be honest with him; tell him that although you were drunk the other night, the truth is that you have fallen for him, but rather than be friends and suffer, you think it's better to not spend so much time with each other, for several reasons: You need time to adjust to the idea that he doesn't feel the same, by creating space you hope your feelings will subside so when someone is there who can love you back, you're ready for them, and you don't want things to be awkward between the two of you.
One of two things may happen:
1st, (bad news for you now), he may adjust just fine to the new arrangement, and show you for certain that he doesn't need you in that way. That will hurt, but then you WILL be able to prepare yourself for a guy who will love you back. Time does heal all wounds.
2nd (good news for you), by creating this distance, he will realize that he does miss you, maybe he does have feelings for you but for whatever reason couldn't or wouldn't express them (maybe he simply doesn't realize he has them). The only thing that will reveal this to him is distance from you. What this means is you have to be resolute and when you say you're spending less time with him, do it!!! If you call him, keep it casual, but better to let him find you, so he doesn't think this is some kind of ploy on your part. BE WITH EACH OTHER LESS, for the time being. If you weaken in this, you are guaranteed to have no shot with him.
Then, after some time has passed (maybe 2-6 months), start giving a little more of yourself to him. If he's been "hungry" for you, you should see some signs that he is being more attentive or affectionate.
The main thing to remember is, guys have egos, and even if he's not interested, he's flattered that you have fallen for him; you can keep that a positive feeling by giving him space. If he thinks you're going to try to "win" him, he'll only get defensive and start to dislike you. So play it cool, sister....he may still not be yours in the end, but it's your best chance.
2006-11-12 05:16:29 · answer #2 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
talk to him, tell him that any feelings you have for him are because you're such good friends, and you don't want to lose that. you will only do what he's comfortable with and you apologize if you made him feel awkward by telling him how you feel. you are willing to move on, and you don't expect anything from him but friendship. and make that clear, friendship is more important to you.
don't lie to him and say you don't care about him if you do. that will get you nothing but a sloppy drunk reputation and a lot of regret if he ends up liking you down the line.
i know a lot about this because it happened to me awhile ago and here i am with my best friend, dating for four years and engaged for one. let things flow and let him take the lead for awhile.
2006-11-12 05:19:58 · answer #3 · answered by itendstoday 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont do it. Bottling emotions can both mentall and emotionally scar you. TALK to them. Find out whats so awkward... work it out because, you can work this out with out bottling, people do it all the time. And if they dont wanna be your friend the f*k em
2006-11-12 05:07:49 · answer #4 · answered by amyman12 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would pretend like nothing ever happend, BUT you may not be able to do that.
2006-11-12 05:07:45 · answer #5 · answered by dreamscrushed 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him dont feel weird that like you Please forget it and lets be very good Friends I dont want our relationship as Friend to end because of what I said
2006-11-12 05:07:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say that it is true you love him but don't want it to affect your relationship.
Good Luck,
Cali
2006-11-12 05:07:08 · answer #7 · answered by cali13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
date someone else...that will make it clear to him that he's "off the hook" and will feel okay to hang with you again
2006-11-12 05:06:50 · answer #8 · answered by cassiepiehoney 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let nature take its course if you've messed it up there is nothing you can do about it
2006-11-12 05:08:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋