2006-11-12 04:53:27 · 15 answers · asked by elnakriel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all you have to confront him, but no shouting match! Remember, whatever you say, or how you conduct yourself, he'll compare you to his mistress. So, try to stay calm even if you want to kill him. By being a whining wife you'll get nowhere except to let him wish he were with this other woman. And don't, don't, DO NOT ask him what you have done wrong, because this will give him the satisfaction of knowing you took the blame for his adultrous behaviour on you.
Just tell him he'll have to choose because you'd like to move on with your life. Don't sound threatening, just adamant. You can even ask him if he would like to file for a divorce, or should you.
Good luck!
2006-11-12 05:03:11 · answer #1 · answered by ina W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. You HURT, then GRIEVE, then get ANGRY as more details of the betrayal come to light.
2. You OBSESS about the lies, you lose sleep, lose weight, and can't concentrate.
3. You'll probably seek advice to this twilight zone. You'll vent to your best friends, Mom, counselor, or minister. Some will actually BLAME you for your bad choice in a marriage partner. Some will say sue for adultery- NOT KNOWING the legal requirements to PROVE it. Some will just listen and some will tell you that it's not PROPER to discuss your marriage.
4. You fall into depression and cry all the time. There is nowhere to turn.
5. You may even decide to work toward forgiveness, as you deeply value your marriage and the vows you promised to God that marriage is forever. You'll expect an apology and try to enforce a "no-contact rule" with the mistress.
6. You will struggle with Trust Issues, unable to feel secure in which part of your life together was a total LIE and was ANY of your life the Truth??
7. You will suffer silently, holding it all in for appearances sake.
8. You MAY recover from it, your marriage MAY recover from it, but YOU will never be the same.
2006-11-12 05:22:06 · answer #2 · answered by upside down 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you always can go over there while your husband is there, and confront them...it is only a way to make you feel better to confront them, just don't beat them up. Just walk away with your dignity. That's what I did last Tuesday. I felt much better after confronting them, but I'm still hurting. Maybe it is not the best situation. I don't know how long your husband has a mistress. My husband had a night-stand with 22 yrs old last May.
If your husband has a mistress for a long time, just divorce him.
2006-11-12 06:38:52 · answer #3 · answered by VeryConfused 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have some hard decisions to make and none of us can help you with whats in your heart.
Do you have kids?
Is he willing to cut her out of his life TOTALLY?
Do you want to save the marriage?
Does he?
My advice, read "the Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" to see if theres anything you could have done to chase him away. Ask him what role you played in his straying. He might just be a dog, but maybe theres something workable here. It's worth trying because if you do split, you will then be able to walk away with a clear conscience.
Good luck and God Bless!
Divorce sucks!
2006-11-12 05:03:06 · answer #4 · answered by my-kids-mom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he already irrespected you,........ he already cheated on you....so, i think that you cant trust him again..
Then, what i should have done in that case, is to finish the marriage. I couldnt live with a man that cheats on me , because each time he would go out, i'll be thinking that he'll be with his mistress. Life is only one, and too short, so try to live it as nicely as you can.There are thousands of men on earth, why to be with one that doesnt give u the value you have????
2006-11-12 06:13:09 · answer #5 · answered by حلاَمبرا hallambra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not let him know that you know!
Document, record, video, transcribe, get witnesses, hire a private investigator, hire a lawyer, put a keylogger on his computer, close all joint credit accounts, take any cash out and hide it.
Now all of that is just to cover your butt if things get hostile. You should still consider reconciliation if you love him.
2006-11-12 04:59:19 · answer #6 · answered by HonestGuy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he either wants you or her,,you dont get both and he doesnt get you if he keeps her.make him choose but only if you actually want him after you have found this out. ending the marriage isnt a simple option and people do get through many bad parts in a relationship,,decide what you really want and go from there.
2006-11-12 04:58:40 · answer #7 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your choices are:
Confront him and then work out a solution eg. counseling
File for divorce
Beat the crap out of both of them, then divorce
Pretend nothing has happened and prepare to be hurt again
good luck
2006-11-12 05:01:25 · answer #8 · answered by classy&sassy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a divorce and forget about him, once a cheater always a cheater!
2006-11-12 05:33:58 · answer #9 · answered by lil_mama69smokie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't confront him about it until you accumulate some strong
evidence and set aside some assets...
2006-11-12 05:16:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋