when your fed up and want out of a marriage and your financially dependent on the husband (you dont have a job), which would you reccommend and why? Separation or Divorce?
2006-11-12 03:48:59 · 26 answers · asked by loveshy34 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'd first go out and get a job. Working in itself could do a great deal for your selfesteem, and maybe let some of the things your fed up with go over your head.
IF the things your fed up with and be talked about and worked on, I'd do the seperation next. Sometimes just for one to not being there all the time for the other one, they tend to see what their missing, and then willing to work on it.
But first, go get you a job!! Really, you'll feel better about yourself, maybe not the marriage right off, but YOU and your the one who is not feeling that great.
2006-11-12 03:54:21 · answer #1 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Separation is usually a good step toward a divorce. Many states require legal separation time before a divorce can be final anyway and it would help speed the process along. Plus, I think it's a really good stepping stone, it's not permanent and if your spouse and you should decide to work things out, it's easier. It gives you time to decide if divorce is right for you.
As far as being financially dependent, I'm in the same boat and I wish I had an answer. Either way, you will have to suppliment your income by working. Unless you think you will be able to support yourself by settlement money. In which case, I suggest a lawyer.
2006-11-12 11:59:31 · answer #2 · answered by Amy F 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If u have been depending on him sense u got married than if u get a divorce he will be subject to take care of u depending on the reason one would want a divorce. It gotta be a damn good reason too. And if ur not happy why separate when u can divorce and move on. And u r a woman so stop depending on ur husband and do something for ur future. go to school or get a job so u want have to depend on ur hubby or society.
2006-11-12 12:00:51 · answer #3 · answered by kimmi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK so maybe some of your comments here havent been nice to u. I will put it straight to u. U need to have a job regardless if u r going to divorce him or not. Maybe go ahead and stay with a friend so that way u dont really feel like u r using him. That is kinda sad. Not being harsh but has he provided for u:???? cared for u????? loved u???? what has gone on.... did he hurt u???? or are u in love with someone else???? Maybe u shouldve said the reason for wanting to divorce him. That wouldve helped your situation and we could be more receptive. We couldve given u better advice
2006-11-12 11:57:31 · answer #4 · answered by texaslady78 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I see that you have recieved some ugly answers but I am not going to do that. Here's the question you need to ask yourself, is there any reconsiliation in this marraige? If yes, separate but if not, get a divorce because if there is none, you don't want to lead him on by only separating from him. Get a job. Become financially independant. You can do it.
2006-11-12 12:51:34 · answer #5 · answered by youngpoet_33 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, do some long hard thinking, if you separate or divorce your going to need to find work to support yourself. i suggest you start thinking first how to improve yourself, IE going back to school, retraining. etc Part of the problem in the relationship may be the fact that your husband feels burdened down by the responsibility of having to carry the load, that can and does effect one personality. either way if you separate or divorce your life style is going to go down hill. improve yourself before you give up on the relationship. Right now you feel like a kept woman, and feel that your their to do his bidding. that reflects in everything you say and do, and he will react to the signals you are sending out. being fed up can mean many things, change your approach you view and maybe you will find he will to.
2006-11-12 12:32:35 · answer #6 · answered by redsyoungstud 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In most states you must serve a time of separation before they will finalize a divorce. In maryland it's 2 years of separation before they will finalize a divorce. Of course if you have an affair etc. you could speed things up.
2006-11-12 11:53:50 · answer #7 · answered by flashpro 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why are you fed up in the marriage? can you not make this work??? you need to see first if you can't try and save your marriage ... it's easy to give up but you should really try to save it.
if your dead set about ending it than get out and get a job and stop being dependant on him ... file for divorce, seperation would mean you want to work out the problems of your marriage
2006-11-12 11:54:28 · answer #8 · answered by emnari 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Education, then Good Job, then Divorce
2006-11-12 12:06:41 · answer #9 · answered by bluestar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please, have you really tried everything (counseling for yourself only, if necessary) to salvage the relationship?
I'm the type to cut my losses and run fast, I used divorce.
Separation is less drastic, sets the legal tone (can get a certain quality of attention if needed), and may allow time for things to change between you two before permanently splitting up. It allows you to 'work up to the divorce' with conditions such that you can elect to stay together instead.
Very best of luck and wishes for your mental and emotional health.
2006-11-12 11:57:12 · answer #10 · answered by Zeera 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋