About 2yrs ago I moved up north to be w/ my hubby, and I did say back then that I would never go back down south, but just 7mos be4 I moved up here my step dad killed my mom, so I was hurt and angry when I said this and in all honestly had no intents. of moving back. But now 2 yrs later, I hate it up here and have hated it since I got here. PPl r very rude, it's to fasted paced for a country girl like me, I cant get a job, nor make any friends (they aint all about partying). A mo. ago my hubby promised me he would moved me back, then about 4 or 5 days ago he said no he never had the intent of moving. I love my hubby more than life it's self, but I can't take the lonlyness anymore, I feel like I'm dying the slowest death there ever was. He knows how I feel and still he does nothing. I dont want to leave him, but it's unfair for one of us to be unhappy, and give up everything and the other not give up anything. Please help what should I do how should I talk to him???
2006-11-12 03:40:40 · 16 answers · asked by mimi 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's afraid of change. Terrifyed that is.
2006-11-12 03:42:01 · update #1
See my hubby has family done there also, and has been visting since he was born, I on the other hand hadn't step foot in MI but once, when I was a child.
2006-11-12 11:10:25 · update #2
I understand that you feel miserable right now...but I think it's possible that you can find a happy medium by possibly searching in another direction..Happiness comes from within..so if you desire the feeling of peace and contentment you must look a little deeper than you have...Search out other avenues to help you...I just feel that you aren't dealing with issues from your past and you may need some expert advice..Good Luck and remember any thing that you allow to control you as an individual means you have just given away your power to...Take it back...
2006-11-12 03:51:31 · answer #1 · answered by Mechelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry about your mother.
I know what you feel. Been there and done it.
I live in North Dakota. I've been here more on than off in over 27 years. ( Longer than my home town in WA). Anyway, I have found that people in North Dakota are the most rude, disrespectful human beings in my life! I only kept coming back, because a small town was the safest I felt to raise my 4 children alone.
I have made friends, but their people who AREN'T from ND. lol
Your happiness is very important for you to grow and be a healthy human being. Yes, you love your husband, but your so unhappy and feel so alone.
I don't like telling people their better off leaving a great person they love. But it seems your husband doesn't even care about your feelings. Try talking more. Maybe try going back south, call it a seperation. You may find once there, that you weren't as unhappy as you thought.
Good Luck. If you'd care to have a pen pal onlinve, I'm here! :-)
hogsnotbubbles@yahoo.com
2006-11-12 11:50:31 · answer #2 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry about ur mom. So ur saying that u been there for 2 years, no friends, no job, and no kind of social life. if ur husband has all these things and don't yake ur feelings into consideration than u and him need a serious talk. if an agreement can't be meet than u know wht u must do. Good luck! oh and think about everything u could gain or lose
2006-11-12 11:50:01 · answer #3 · answered by kimmi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
is it possible for you and him to move somewhere else? it may be tough meeting people and making friends but just because something is hard doesnt make it impossible,,have you tried any local groups? you and he need to reach a compromise,one that suits you both,,if he says you are going nowhere has he any ideas on what you will do? does he have any reasonable answers that will help you if you stay there with him,,he cant just dismiss your worries and loneliness and carry on as if you mean nothing,,if the two of you can reach a compromise it may not be so bad but maybe you need to step up as much as you want him to step down.
2006-11-12 11:46:34 · answer #4 · answered by lex 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you don't know what to say, how about printing out what you have said here and giving it to him to read ? You've said a mouthful for sure and he should be able to read between the lines unless he chooses not to. That's what I would do if I were in your situation. Also, if he moves back to where you want, he will be miserable so howabout compromising ? Move somewhere that you've always wanted to visit. Another state that's "neutral".
2006-11-12 11:44:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU PROMISED - in sickness and in health, richer for poorer TILL DEATH DO YOU PART. Don't be so selfish. It sounds like your hubby is making the money to support you. Most people should be so lucky. The problem is, you don't want to change for your husband, YOU MOVED, you agreed to do this and YOU SAID you would never move back, your husband took this to be true and now you want to back out...on the life he is providing you AND on your marriage...you should be ashamed of yourself. Take a little country girls advise and "Stand by your man"
2006-11-12 11:46:32 · answer #6 · answered by Honeypai 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you leave your husband, you will be lonely and heart broken. You've been there two years, it's time you adjust. If you can't get a job, then go to school. There you might find some people with the same interests and make some new friends.
2006-11-12 11:46:27 · answer #7 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you are that miserable, I'm sure it's effecting your marriage. why not just go back for a visit and see how your hubby reacts when you get back. hopefully, he will see how much happier you are or either you will see that you can't live without him and will try to find something to make your life happier. good luck and i hope you two can work this out.
2006-11-12 11:47:44 · answer #8 · answered by Texas T 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know how it feels to be unhappy where you live. it won't change unless you make friends. Being married is about compromise. You've lived there 2 yrs for him and it hasn't worked. he needs to step up and make this move with you. this isn't about choosing family over your husband according to your story it's about you being lonely and unhappy. He's not listening to you and he's not compromising so I'm going to say it's all about him and he's selfish.
2006-11-12 11:46:57 · answer #9 · answered by uknowme 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WELL IF HE MOVES BACK WITH YOU HE'LL BE MISERABLE, SO THERE YOU GO?
IT ALL COMES DOWN TO WHAT YOU WANT MORE..
YOUR HUSBAND OR A LONG LOST PLACE.
HAVE YOU EVEN TRIED TO MAKE FRIENDS.
PEOPLE UP NORTH ARE NOT RUDE UNLESS YOU GIVE THEM SOMETHING TO BE RUDE ABOUT.
I NOW LIVE IN FLORIDA AND FIND THE LOCALS HATE US NORTHERNERS, .TALK ABOUT RUDE. SO MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY A LITTLE.IF NOT, GO IT ALONE, GOOD LUCK.
2006-11-12 11:44:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋