i mean when a friend asks for an advice, you easily give him or her great ones.. you know exactly what to say. but when it comes to your own problems you can't? especially when it is similar to the problem of theirs? even if you know the answers are the obvious?
2006-11-12 03:27:26 · 11 answers · asked by lostandconfused 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Because when you are IN a situation, it's too hard to be objective. Your emotions get in the way!
2006-11-12 03:36:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best advice is given from an objective viewpoint. This means that one is able to stand back from the emotional feelings of a situation and see clearly. There is empathy,yet the clarity comes from being objective. When you are involved with your own problems, you are emotionally affected (too involved) and are not always able to see the clear path. (Meditation is wonderful for it gives one clarity to ones own drama). When we are emotionally involved with a situation there may be underlying "needs" that also get in the way from one seeing their own problems clearly. Your point of view may only stem from your point of need. This is why you can see clearly into someone Else's issues, but not for yourself.
2006-11-12 04:36:42 · answer #2 · answered by Wise Woman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I attempt this also. i imagine that is quite difficulty-loose because that is more convenient to assert what one could do, fairly than what one needs to do. also, once you're out of the concern, as an example, listening to about your chum being in an abusive courting, that is ordinary that you will discover the incorrect and tell her what to do (get out now!). besides the undeniable fact that, if you're in it, the concern is a lot extra complicated by your emotions, reviews with the guy & so on. i don't believe of it makes you a hypocrite inevitably, that is purely human nature. i attempt to save a sparkling recommendations in my personal affairs besides the undeniable fact that that is hard. purely attempting to although facilitates :-)
2016-11-29 01:48:06 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Self-preservation is that pesky little belief that we are correct, justified, blameless, and that we have a good reason for all that we do. We all believe that.
It makes it difficult for us to realize things about ourselves. We are too emotionally invested in our own lives to be objective. We have a conflict of interest, when it comes to giving ourselves advice.
We have too many reasons, explainations, and excuses to follow our own advice. We canlt help it.
How does a liar justify lying to someone? How does a wife beater make it right in his mind to beat his wife? How do drunk drivers justify driving drunk? How do cheaters justify cheating on their partner? The answer is self-preservation.
2006-11-12 03:55:06 · answer #4 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kowing what to do is quite often easy, as you say. Telling others AND yourself is equally easy. The problem comes in doing. When there is something we find difficult to do for whatever reason, we resist the advice we give ourselves that says we need to do it. With friends, there is no such resistance to what comes out of our mouths.
2006-11-12 03:46:55 · answer #5 · answered by fishman 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because people are cowardly idiots. It's easier to tell someone to jump off a building than do it yourself. When you give advice, you're not taking the risks, you don't deal with the consequences, so you're free to say whatever you'd like. When you're in the middle of it, everything you do seems to matter...it really doesn't though. Nothing does. We're all going to die no matter what.
2006-11-12 03:31:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
We have always been good about telling others what to do and not be able to control our own lives. I guess when we are asked for advice it more of just being there for a person and listening and talking. The advice is usually just opinion that we have not tested in our own lives, we just think it sounds good.
2006-11-12 03:39:05 · answer #7 · answered by Snaglefritz 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
because you are involved in it, there's more at stake - your life is at stake.
c'mon, you give advice or answers to someone (in the same way that i am typing this response now) because it feels good - it makes you look good without the risk of losing something.
2006-11-12 03:40:15 · answer #8 · answered by philtiongson 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
its easier to see others flaws then your own b/c u often dont have to deal with emotions when it comes to them....
2006-11-12 07:45:40 · answer #9 · answered by g_rant07 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I often wonder about that myself
2006-11-12 05:42:00 · answer #10 · answered by ladybug 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋