Is cheating always bad?

Question

Hubby is no longer interested -- it's been 5 years. Have been flirting with coworker, and last Friday -- well, ya know. It was the best EVER! I miss it so much! Shoud I feel guilty? Is it ever OK?

Over the years, I've lost my confidence, gained weight, and have felt unwanted, unloved, and unattractive because hubby isn't interested. My coworker has made me feel desired and confident again. I miss feeling good about myself in that way so much.

I guess I should also add that coworker and I have agreed that this will not be a love relationship. His wife cut him off, too. And for those of you judging me and calling me a loser, you don't know unless you've been there! I've tried sooooo many times over the years to discuss this with hubby. Our daughter is 17, and I'm not quite to where I want to leave hubby. I do love him, but I'm tired of the rejection! It's hurts so much!

Answer 1

You need to start thinking about why you stay with your husband. If he makes you feel that badly, maybe it's time to bring that up in a discussion. No ultimatums, just honesty. I don't think it's a good idea to bring up the affair, though. The marriage dissolving would appear to be your fault, though it looks like he's been dissolving it for at least 5 years.

Also, what about your daughter? Is it better for her if you two stay together or separate? She has to know that there is tension -- and believe me, there IS tension.

I guess I didn't answer your actual question. OK, well . . . I understand the reason behind your affair. You've both agreed that it's going to be purely physical. Is that all that you're missing, though? The intimacy, the emotion, the feelings of being loved -- isn't that what you really miss? You're not going to get this from a purely physical relationship.

Bottom line is that if hubby isn't willing to go to a therapist and talk this out, then it's time . . . stop being a codependent and make a plan to make yourself truly happy. You deserve it! You ARE a good person if you're questioning your actions. If you had no morals, you'd be with every man that showed any interest.

Good luck, & let us know how things turn out.

Answer 2

Wow, think about your boyfriend sleeping with a girl who just came back from somewhere and they had sex and he felt bad but is not telling you. Yeah, now you answer your own question, is cheating always bad? Oh boo hoo. Stop trying to make yourself feel any better. Of course, anyone in their right mind knows that cheating is wrong. Just cause you're 'only 18' . . . you're an adult now. Be more responsible and stop degrading yourself and your relationship.

Answer 3

Yes, It chips away at your character, you feel guilt and you're always hiding in the shadows like a drug user in a bathroom stall. The high is only temporary and leaves you feeling worse than when you began. Your husband can't compete with anyone else cause they don't have to live with you...the lover only see's your best and offers his best. Imagine what your marriage would be like if you and your spouse treated each other that way. As for the lack of sex....that's a real bummer and it wil drive you to do things you regret or enjoy....your character ALWAYS gets involved.

Answer 4

yes. Cheating is always bad. I understand you're cut off and you need someone to validate you as a woman and make you feel special, those feelings are very important. But, if you are already there, why don't you get a dovirce?

I mean, I know divorce isn't the asnwer to everything, but if you guys aren't in love anymore and you are going elsewhere, I don'tknow why you'd stay together.

Answer 5

Someone always ends up hurt when you cheat. Divorce your husband and move on with your life. Don't be a lire and a cheat and a hoe bag all at the same time. Mean but true.

Sorry you gained weight and lost confidence, but your still what you are.....

Answer 6

This is easy. Look at it this way....If he finds out will he leave you? Is that how you want to live your life? Are you open to a STD? The fact that the co-workers wife "cut him off" is none of your concern, your concern should be that BOTH of you are cheating . Count on your fingers how many people you will hurt...both spouses, include your children & his children. Better to put new batteries in your toy and pleasure yourself and find some self respect and respect for your family.

Answer 7

YES cheating is a sin & it ends up HURTING the ones involved ! STOP !

If you are feeling down about yourself & it's ruining the
relationship between you & your husband then go & see a counselor for some help ! Cheating will only ADD to your problems, not take them away.

Answer 8

Sounds like you've got a terrible marriage. But deception is never a good thing, no matter what the justification. If your marriage is so bad you have to end it, then do so. In the meantime, don't live a lie. You won't like yourself if you do, and, unless you don't have a conscience, you will feel guilty.

Answer 9

Wow...grow up selfish one. This is very immature. You will never solve marriage problems by turning outside the marriage. And you think your life with your husband will improve now by adding a 3rd person? May the pain you are causing your husband, daughter and others come back and bite you.

Answer 10

5 years? time for you to leave and enjoy yourself!!! if you stay and see other man than you'll always feel guilty. cheating is bad, not because you did it, but because of the package it comes with and could make you and hubby feel really terrible...