WE HAVE TWO KIDS AND I DON'T WANT TO LIVE WITH IT .HE RECENTLY GOT IN AN ALTERCATION WITH THE COPS BECAUSE HE WAS DRUNK . HE GOES TO COURT SOON ,AND HE HAS NOT DRANK IN 7 MONTHS BUT HE SAID HE WOULD START DRINKING AGAIN AFTER COURT AND I TOLD HIM I WOULD LEAVE HIM .......SHOULD I?HE DOESN'T WANT TO QUIT DRINK EVEN TO KEEP HIS FAMILY AND HE SAYS THIS TIME WOULD BE DIFFERENT
2006-11-12 01:46:05 · 13 answers · asked by susanfiscus6 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
coming from a man perspective, im 31 and married well seperated now due to my drinking. and first i want to start with im happy to see your still there and trying to work things out. me and my wife drink together and its all fine, she hasent had a problem with how much i drink. what the problem was, was i would drive afterwards. i recieved my first DUI in june then 2 monthes later was out with friends, got car jacked and because i was drunk i tried to stop the situation and ended up in the hospital. her and the girls leaving woke me up and i know i wont drink and drive but she was quick to move out and doesn't know if she can give me another chance. i dont want to tell you to leave because this is the most painful thing ive had to go through but in my situation only loosing my wife and kids woke me up, the legal and money aspect didnt phase me and i think if she would of stood beside me during this whole thing i prob would of started drinking again. i cant understand ANYTHING being more important than my wife and kids. not knowing how well you two talk, ill leave it with. HE'LL REALIZE WHATS IMPORTANT THE FIRST NIGHT HE COMES HOME TO A QUIET HOUSE AND SLEEPS ALONE,
2006-11-12 06:35:15 · answer #1 · answered by idoj 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That right there is a big sign for you he told you that his family isnt worth him getting help.As hard as it is for you get the kids and leave. You are going to be miserable until he gets help and the kids are suffering. You tell him that either he gets into Detox or you and the kids will get out and live a happy life without him. I know you have been with him for 15 years and that is a long time to be with someone that you love but you are doing the right thing if he doesnt get help to keep his family then you and the kids move on and he will have to live with the guilt. I hope he chooses his family over alcohol. If not go and make a better life good luck.
2006-11-12 09:56:37 · answer #2 · answered by 2wild4u 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Facts are, he drinks, you have 2 kids, and you have put up with it for 15 years. If he is not abusive, you should wait till the kids are 18 then divorce him. BUT, I would detail this to him, inform him that unless he really changes you will be divorcing him and have a date set when kids are gone. Put up a sign in your bed room that says Independence day with that date on it. 15 years is a long time to give up on. He might get shocked enough to stop and save your marriage. Good luck.
2006-11-12 09:56:14 · answer #3 · answered by Common Sense 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe me you will never regret leaving a man like that.
As u can see I posted tons of questions before asking how to deal with my abusive psycho bf and every single person told here me to leave him. Althought we haven't been together as long as you guys have and we have no kids, it was still hard for me to leave him. But I finally did, and that was the BEST choice I have ever made in my life! My life is so much better now! I don't have to deal with all those fights and dramas.
So my advice is: leave him before he gets worse! It's your life!Don't let him ruin your life!
2006-11-12 10:02:57 · answer #4 · answered by angela 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he in AA? If not, then you should go so you can cope with his problem. Why not encourage him to join so the family can work on his disease? 15 years is too much to throw away without exhausting every possible source to save your marriage and your family. Good luck in whatever you decide.
2006-11-12 09:56:20 · answer #5 · answered by judirose2001 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stick to your wits! I've seen first hand how alcohol destroys families. If he starts drinking, inevitably, something will happen again. You're children shouldn't be exposed to his behavior, either. Alchoholism has a tendency to run in families.
2006-11-12 09:52:06 · answer #6 · answered by spackler 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
leave him a guy like this has no life, meaning he does not have feelings for u or the kids, so instead of u having the headaches and the hangovers of this guy, u need to just leave and move on for a better life , so the kids wont turn out like their father
2006-11-12 09:50:48 · answer #7 · answered by susu 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Throw him out.
You are not doing him, the kids or youself any favors by stretching this out.
Maybe someday he will clean up his act and be a worthwhile husband/father again (I did). But until then you need to make a life for you and the kids.
2006-11-12 10:31:41 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he cannot do this one thing or at least a big change then leve and try and get to where you will be happy for you and the kids sake.
2006-11-12 10:44:10 · answer #9 · answered by ronnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok Mrs. u should know what to do plain and
simple:if he drinks again leave him and if he
does not,stay.
2006-11-12 09:53:46 · answer #10 · answered by Iris A. 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋