What should I do? I live in England and am in a terible situation?
Can anyone help me? Does anyone know what I should do? I am seriously panicking because my parents don't have a clue how to fix this situation.... this might take me a long time to explain.
when i was 11 my gransma of whom i was very close to died. she was my only protector and the one who looked after me/raised me.
she died just as i was starting high school....at this point i began to realise i was being neglected by my real mum. she had had a tough childhood, had been abused by her mum and apparantly there was physical fighting in the house etc....my mum married my dad just to get away from that situation.
at the point when i was starting high school I began to notice that I was being neglected, I never got took out anywhere, never got bought anything, didnt get fed properly etc....also...my mum and dad were practically split up but in the same house.they hardly spoke,didn't have a relationship,didn't sit down to eat etc...i don't think my mum even knew HOW to move away. anyway i began to get very depressed and began not to be able to cope with school. I began to refuse to go on-and-off for 2 years. it was a terrible mistake but at the time I was severely depressed and not thinking rationally. at the end of this year my parents sent me to another school and lied to the head teacher saying that I wasn't behind in my work. I coudn't cope with the work tht year...it was alien to me....at the end of the year I quit school altoghether as I was so tired, fed up, depressed and had no-one to help me. i think deep down I was half waiting for my grandma to come back and save me. i was still not being looked after properly...and my mum was always cold towards me...I ended up having 3 measly hours of home tuition per week and I had no friends or relatives to check i was ok (which I wasn't) i ended up with a teacher who wasn't even qualified to teach...plus she just made me learn out of a book, instead of teaching me herself. NO-ONE was there in my life to make sure i was ok. my last school didn't realise the amount of danger i was in because my parets had lied to them...same with the home tuition lot. i wasn't getting any sleep, being taken anywhere, spoken to even or in general looked after by my parents.I ended up getting G grades in my GCSE exams...apsrt from a C/D in English as I as always above average at this.I was still SEVERELY depressed and didn't get ANY help. my parents didn't know really what to do. I briefly saw Connexions but they equally weren't much help. I then sat at home for the next TWO YEARS doing nothing. I am now 18. I still wasn't being looked after properly. I didn't have any sort of a routine, no regular meal times etc...etc...I didn't go out of the house..or meet anyone. I was severely depressed,not thinking straight and didn't have a clue how to get out of the situation. plus the fact that I was quite frightened of my mother made it impossible for me to talk to anyone about everything.
I really need help, i don't have a clue how to do even the most basic things such as how to use a washing machine, how to cook etc..etc...
I don't know also how to fix my education. I am 18, have had no education, don;t even know basic stuff ..and have no-one to help me. what on earth should I do?
I live in England.
Who can help me?
Who should I contact???
2006-11-12 01:09:30 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Your life sounds a lot like mine when I was young. What you need to do now is stop thinking about the past. Stop looking to find someone or something to blame for the situation you see your self in.
Now is the only thing that matters. As they say today is the first day of the rest of your life. You need to understand that you are the one who will determine what the rest of your life is going to be like.
I did it at 17; you can do it at 18. You need to take charge of your life. If there is no one to teach you how to run a washing machine then go on line and look for directions. Go to a public laundry and look confused. Some nice person will help you. Ask questions; learn what you need to learn to be self-sufficient. I did it, you can too.
Understand that sometimes it will be hard, but you are more than capable. I wanted to make thing for myself, but I seemed unable to do even the simplest construction step of driving a nail.
Try as I may it just seemed to be beyond me.
Everyone who watched me try had a good laugh at my expense, but I did not give up.
Each time I bent the nail over I would pull it out and put a new one in the hole and drive it a little farther than the last one got. Sometimes it took me 4 or 5 nails before I got it all the way in.
This seemed to go on forever but eventually it was 2 or 3. Then one day I actually got one driven in all the way on the first try.
This was years ago, and I never gave up learning a little more from each experience. Now people actually come to me for construction advice and help when they think that they can't do something.
I never do it for them but I simply show them how it can be done, and let them feel what it is like to accomplish it for them selves. They are always thrilled to realize that they can do it themselves.
This is what you need to teach your self. No one can do this for you, but I know that you can do it because I did. Yes it can be depressing at times but if I can do it you can too.
You just need to have as much faith in your self as I have in you.
Love and blessings Don
2006-11-12 01:36:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
Have you tried to frivolously speak to him? Are trying to explain to him that what you did used to be silly and that you just regret it more than he'll ever comprehend. Inform him you might be sorry for hurting him and that you simply'd take it again in a heartbeat should you would. His lashing out at you is his approach of dealing with his agony and anger over the drawback. If he does not reply well to a relaxed discussion, then he will as a rule in no way recover from the concern and there is not so much hope for you. In his eyes, you betrayed his believe. It might also be that he strayed additionally, but is not man sufficient to tell you he did and his lashing out is due to the fact that of HIS guilt. The only thing more you would try is treatment, however this will best work if both of you go into it with open hearts and minds.
2016-08-09 22:24:46 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe u should try to meet some friends. friends are supposed to help you after ur family sucks. go to a bar, join a club, do something productive where there are other people around, even if the teacher of that club becomes ur friend.
Secondly, u shud see a psychiatrist because u sound seriously depressed. of course, i dont think ur mom would pay for it but if u offers to than go for it
is there a relative u can trust? an aunt, uncle, another grandparent, cousin? confide in them and they will seek help
And about ur education, so u didn't graduate high school? do u know what u want to do for a living? because not all jobs require an education? a sales person, a manager, a secretary, a store owner. of course, u need money to spend one and gamble on a job. get a job, like a waitress or clerk. make something of urself and maybe when the time is right talk to ur mom. im sure she'd want to know all this. show her u even posted this question.
2006-11-12 01:18:34 · answer #3 · answered by dramateen23 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Seeking help is the very important step to getting a good life on the right track. I believe that grandmum had to instill dome very good values in you for you to now seek help. Take some time stop and think what she would have said in this situation. You may find that she gave you some very good advice.I do not know who to turn to in England, sorry, but if there is some type of youth group or center or even a college they could give you some good adviceBest of luck and remember grandma and what she said I am sure you will think of some very valuable words she gave you. You are strong and I feel very confident that you will succeed and be a much better person than either of your parents. You will shine like grandma. Please be careful so that no one takes advantage of you and if grandma took you to church you could start there. If you could get i a visa to leave the country I would not mind taking you in to help you. I will pray for you congratulations on the taking the first step to give yourself a better life.
2006-11-12 01:48:09 · answer #4 · answered by wolfy1 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Help yourself! Research on-line how to do things or go to the library and read. Do you have a job? You can learn from your co-workers just by listening.
You need to contact the Worker's Educational Association. Explain your situation and get help from them since they specialize in helping people who have missed out on education.
Most of all you need to quit expecting someone else to help you and help yourself! Sounds like a lot of problems in your life were made worse because you didn't take responsibility. You're an adult now so no more excuses.
2006-11-12 01:56:18 · answer #5 · answered by honey 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Wow I thought I had a hard life but there is always worse off kids out there. I really feel for you. You have suffered a lot. I applaude you to try and fix things now. Im not sure about things in England. but here in the states there is a program for a better education to get a GED. that is basically a diploma for those who never finished school. I would try and search for something like that. public aid officies here would help. I would love to talk to you and try to help any way I can. at least know in what direction you are handling.. You can write me through here and ill give you my yahoo address.......good luck in your searches......
2006-11-12 01:18:05 · answer #6 · answered by bobsdidi 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋
My best advise to you would be to go and see your G.P. and explain how you are feeling and request you see a councillor. Councillors are fantastic, they are really nice people who will sit and listen to everything you have to say. Whats more, they are very good at helping you to understand the things you are saying. They will help you to build yourself a fantastic life for yourself, they will support you. It sounds to me that there are a lot of thoughts and emotions that you are finding difficult to understand. A councillor will help you. There are too many idiots on Yahoo answers that will not take you seriously, a councillor will.
To me, you sound like an intelligent person because you have realised all of this by yourself, you will be ok.
2006-11-12 01:57:18 · answer #7 · answered by Mr Slug 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Firstly I would see your doctor to see if you need medication to help lift you out of the depression. This will help you see life a bit more positive and help you take control.
Next try your local college's as they will have courses especially for people who struggled in school for different reasons and you can get your exams through them.
Good luck
2006-11-12 01:18:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
It sounds like you have had a really rough time, why not visit your local citizens advice bureau - they will be able to tell how to go about finishing your education.
I really hope you can sort this out
2006-11-12 01:18:07 · answer #9 · answered by Lupee 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Please will anybody planning on answering questions posted by this user please look at profile first.
This user needs proper medical help.
Repeat posting for 3 months with serious conflicts in the information.
2006-11-12 03:28:24 · answer #10 · answered by angie 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋