Please give us some advice ...?

Question

My wife and I are having a real problem!! You see we recently had our first child 5 months ago. Since day one I have thought it good to have Her sleep in her our crib *IN our room* that we had bought! However my wife has let her sleep in the bed with her and I have slept in the guest room !! NOW I do think in her 5 th month she is ready for her crib * still in our room * and my dear wife is holding ground and won't even try a nap time of 2 hours * she thinks it is COLD to abandoned Her in her crib and not have her lie next to her !! Meanwhile I am still in the guest room !! So how long should the parents wait until they begin to let her sleep in her own crib??? I have heard if you wait to long it could cause real problems and she will want to sleep in our bed still at age four...? Who is right Here?????

Answer 1

You are right. My kids slept in their own bed. Once they were a few weeks old, they slept in their own room. Talk to her and find out why she feels that way. And get back in your bed! Its very wrong of her to chase you out with the baby. You put up with that sillyness for 5 months. Its now time for the kid to sleep on its own. Otherwise it will just get harder to break the baby to its own bed.

Answer 2

I feel for you and your wife, my son stayed in our room in a bassinet, until he was 2 months old. At that time, he was only waking 1-2 times for a feed during the night, and my husband was sleeping in the other room and wanted his wife back. I also wanted some normalsy back into my room. Unfortunately you won't be able to force her, as she will be very uncomfortable. But it is time....she will start rolling over, moving around too much. And I'm sure you're wife will have MUCH better sleep without having the baby right there between her. It might be hard at first, but you are already making a compromise by having the crib in your room, which will ease the transition, and then the transition into the nursery. She won't be leaving the baby alone, she'll be giving her a little more room to be comfortable, and your wife will still be near, the baby will able to smell her, and know she is there. Good Luck with this.

Answer 3

First of all go to www.babysake.com. My son used to sleep my bed in his bouncy and then one day he didn't want to sleep there anymore. He just started to sleep in his crib on his own. I think in your case, put the baby in the crib when she is awake and give her some toys to play with. Then try putting her in her crib for a nap and then move on to the nighttime. Have the crib in your guy's room so your wife doesn't feel like she is abandoning her daughter.

Answer 4

I see what your wife is saying...sorta. When my daughter was first born i slept on the couch with her on my chest, leaning to the back so that she didn't roll off, but i worried about her becoming dependent on sleeping with me so i moved her to a bassinet right next to the side of my bed so that she was still near me, but in her own space, now at 6 weeks she is in her to her crib which is still in out room its just on the other side of the room, its like baby steps to getting her to her own room.

It not cold to put her in her crib and its not abandoning here either if anything it helps the child learn that even though you aren't always right next the her you will always come back.

I honestly thing if you don't start to move her away, you might end up with an 11 year old wanting to sleep with you guys, besides I'm sure you miss sleeping right next to your wife

Good Luck

Answer 5

Is there not room for you in the bed too?

Would she consider bringing the crib into your room, removing one of the side rails and wedging it between the bed and the wall? That would create more space but allow baby to stay close to mom (where she belongs!).

There is nothing wrong with cosleeping. If it is done safely, it creates secure and bonded children and lets the whole family get more sleep. (And there are places other than bed to have sex, if that's your problem!)

Answer 6

Maybe she just doesn't want any-thing to happen to the baby. U could move the crib on the mom's side of the bed. So that way if the baby is trouble, hungry, or can't sleep; she can get up and take of her.

Answer 7

I think you are right. I have three children and the first I did what your wife is doing and it becomes a hard habit to break. I learned my lesson quick. You really need to get your wife to give up her thoughts of not letting her sleep in her crib or your going to be a lonely man for a long time. I have an Aunt who still sleeps in bed with her son and he is 7. Her husband and her don't even sleep together. Brake her habit now!! Good Luck!

Answer 8

What you have here is a real problem.The baby should stay out of the bed .The crib by the side of the bed is fine for the first few weeks but after that back to the other room.What is happening here is the woman is so atached to the baby she feels like to never let it go..And of cousre you are left out of the picture to.If things are not corrected soon I seen children sleep with the mother to are 7.And in some cases very few marrage seperation...

Answer 9

I believe you're right in this case! My husband and I also have a 5 month old, she's our first. We both agreed not to have her in the bed with us, but instead she's in her pack and play in the bassinett part of it and right next to my side of the bed so she's right there. Since I'm nursing it only makes things easier to keep her in the same room with us but next month I'll start weaning her off the breast and into her crib and own room. It's going to be really hard but my best friend is a nanny and she told me if I don't make the switch soon, then it's going to be much harder to get her to sleep on her own and in her own room. You have to make the transition a smooth one. She suggested for me to go ahead and start playing a lullaby cd every night when she goes to bed in our room so that when we put her in her room, we can play the cd and she'll associate the music with us and sleeping and be more relaxed and comfortable. I know it's hard to have your baby in another room and I'm so freaked out and paranoid but there is such a thing as smothering and overprotecting the child. Do you guys want to have your kid sleeping in bed with you and fighting her when she's older? You have a monitor so all will be well. For the moment just try to get her to agree on letting the baby sleep in the crib in your room. The baby has to learn to self-sooth or else he/she will never sleep through the whole night. It's hard to teach self-soothing when mom's right next to the baby. Best of luck and congrats on the new one!

Answer 10

I have a four year old, personally how i used to do it when he was newborn and up until he was about a year old was we used to have a moses basket and used that up until he was about 6 months old. He would go to sleep in that in our room next to our bed as he was still waking up in the night, however when he did wake up if it was for a feed then we did used to put him inbetween us an feed him until he was asleep or pacified then put him back until morning. Once he reached the age of going in a cot then he went in his own room with a bottle at night, we used to put him down awake with the bottle say night night an all that and come out an i think at first we left the door open a little with the landing light on. I have to say it was the best thing that we did and he now goes to bed no problem. Personally i think if you carry on this routine that is what it is going to be to your baby a "routine" and when you suddenly change this i think your going to have problems as babys do like routine. Hope this helps.

Answer 11

I believe that by now the baby can sleep in the crib but maybe you could leave the crib next to your wife's bed in the same room in till she feels more comfortable leaving the baby in a room by them selves. have patience its hard for a mother to leave their children alone.