Why can't i stop loving my husband?

Question

Even though my husband is really bad like cheater,, liar, stupid, etc,, but i still have feelings for him..is it normal to have these feelings towards him? At one moment i feel like divorcing him bt at another moment, my thoughts can't get over him. Whats wrong with me? What should i do? Should i divorce him, overcome my love for him? Or love him and bare his bad behavior and actions all my life.? I'm so confused. My instincts tell me to leave him as he is never going to change..but my heart says, lets stay for a while and see what happens, he might change. I dont know if i will be able to meet new guys after i divorce my husband. I can't trust men anymore. I plan to give my whole attention to my studies and build up a career. I'm scared of divorce. I dont know if i will ever be able to get over him. He expects a lot from me. He Not only expects but want everything from me such as USA green card, cooking, washing dishes, cleaning, job... However, I want him to provide me with everyth

Answer 1

my parents are divorced but my mom still loves my father alot... although he wasn't a very nice person, even to her, she still misses him and have feelings for him... so i guess its normal.

Answer 2

What you are calling "love" is probably guilt over not having the perfect - or even decent - marriage you expected. Women take the marriage vows serious - except for the gold diggers, of course - and they layer on so much that is not realistic, that they begin to blame themselves for the disparities. Women put so much heart into their efforts that men, if they are "bad," "cheating" and "lying," know how to use it against them and manipulate them into believing that it is all their fault. At that point I believe it is time to get out. Staying will not make the dysfuntion better. Men rarely change anything about themselves, much less take any responsibility. You need to become an independent woman and give up in this relationship the notion that he will provide you with "everything." Go into a next relationship more realistic and talk about the important things prior to establishing a long term relationship. Men respect independent women unless they are afraid of them. You don't want the latter.

Answer 3

Listen sweetheart you are the woman in the relationship,he should pamper you and treat you like his queen.He should meet you 50/50 on all the household duties and most of all he shouldn't cheat. If he is cheating on you he doesn't love you or respect you.I understand that you love him but there is someone out there that will treat you like you deserve to be.All men are not bad just some.You owe it to yourself to be treated better.

Answer 4

No matter how bad your husband is there is always some part of you that won't stop loving him. Even a divorse might not help the fact. Hopefully you can ween yourself away from him because if you don't you are going to pull down yourself.

Answer 5

Because when you love somebody, don't you always love them? Because you hold out hope that he will come around someday. The love you first felt will be buried under the years of bs, but you will always love him, regardless. It is being able to seee past the fog of love or lust or infatuation to see if it is good for you or not. Even if you decide not, you will always love him. Time and experiences, especially unhappy or negative ones only bury the love, not destroy it.

Answer 6

I dont agree with having to love someone forever or keep a place in your heart. I was madly in love with my husband and never thought I could get over him. We were divorced 10 years ago. I went through a terrible depression and it was only when I said to myself enough is enough did my life start to change. I dont love him anymore. I dont hate him either. I feel nothing whatsoever for him and its a great place to be. I never thought I would ever feel this confident. The only way, I think, you will be able to stop his unsatisfactory treatment of you is to find some self confidence. It sounds like he has treated you like a maid more so than a wife and he probably feels very secure about cheating because you will keep on taking him back. He has nothing to prove, he can do anything he likes and you will accept it. Why? Because you dont have any self confidence...he has taken it away from you. You need to find a huge dose of self pride and start to value yourself. You need to see yourself as an important person in your own right. Time is the only healer. It will hurt, but with time you will get to a comfortable place in your life. You WILL find more strength than you ever could possibly imagine now. Your husband is the one who is bringing you down, but you are the only one who can build yourself up again. Maybe you should go and do a self esteem course. You need to surround yourself with positive people. You need to pamper yourself. You need to start feeling good about yourself. This man will never make you feel good about yourself and one day if you hang onto this "love" you have for him, you will die a sad and lonely old woman. You deserve happiness too. This man is not giving it to you, he is doing the opposite. When a man cheats he may as well tell you that you are not good enough for him and that in itself would strip most women of their confidence. Not all men are like your husband. There are plenty of men out there who will love and treasure a woman like you.

Your mind is the only thing that will motivate you enough to do something about his unacceptable behaviour. Our minds are the only thing that controls our actions. Your heart is just a beating muscle. If you want to change then you have to start thinking positive thoughts. You have to start seeing your husband as he trully is. You want him to change, but your mind is telling you he wont. I suggest you listen to your mind and do something about it. Its hard for anyone to decide to leave their marriage, but you need to talk to lots of women who have done it and they will tell you they are much stronger and confident and is the best thing they ever did. It does take time, and it is hard, but it can be done. You have all the strength and determination any of us have. You just have to choose to use it. You do have the strength, and maybe if you told yourself that on a daily basis, you would start to value yourself a little more than you are doing now.

I hope you find your self confidence. I hope you find some self pride. I hope you realise that with time you will find true happiness and unfortunately it doesnt seem to include your husband. I was going to wish you good luck. You dont need luck, you need guts and determination and a bit of self love. You can do it.

Answer 7

OK
one of my freind have the same feeling for her lying cheating abusive husband
do you know what she got? AIDS
even after giving it to her he is till abusive
Girl you will get over him
keep reminding yoursefl of all the nasty things that he has done to you
Good luck
not to sound to nosy or prejudice can you tell us were he is from

Answer 8

If it wasn't normal for you to still have feelings for him, you wouldn't be human. this is why you can't stop loving him. You will never stop loving him. You may one day fall out of love with him, but you will still have a place for him in your heart. Don't be mad about it, just change your life accordingly so your happier.

Answer 9

You have answered your own question already. He will never change. So, you only have to answer one other question for yourself: How much longer do you want to be treated like a doormat?

Answer 10

you said it in the end,you want him for his money,and give you everything you want,if you divorce him you wont have that,thats why your confused its about his money.