The point is that I'm not trying to change my daughter and do consider her way of being so mature, loyal and s

Question

sensible as a virtue not as a defect, but it upsets me that nearly all her good friends(classmates as well) are against her and she says that she doen't enjoy their company because she thinks that they all envy her and they are all too childish for her. She's a very generous and intelligent girl, but she particularly feels in competition with one of her best friends who is very intelligent and good at school. We live in a small town at the South of Italy so it really doesn't offer too much neither for adults nor for children and everybody knows everybody. And I'm really getting sick and tired of hearing my daughter's friend's mother (who's a friend of mine too) telling me that my daughter has a problem with socializing with other children, because she's too serious for her child, thinks as if she's 30 years old not 10 etc. I don't know if it's the case to take her to a psychologist. Thank you all for your kind answers.

First of all, I would like to thank you all for all those positive comments about my girl and the way you have encouragerd me.
I just would like to add that although she's only 10 she already goes to the 2dary school and very good at all subjects. That's right that she's very independent but very rebellious as well. She's the only child like all her good friends and has always been more with adults than children which may explain why she doesn't enjoy the company of her friends. But, I should admit that she is also capricious and wants always win and sometimes suffers that she gets isolated by her friends. She does feel sometimes very lonely and not loved by her friends and that's why I'm a bit worried. Otherwise my husband and I know that we're blessed to have such a daughter and thank God for it every day!
Thank you very much all!

Answer 1

Your daughter sounds absolutely wonderful and very sensible. She certainly does not need to see a psychologist. Tell your so called friend that you know her views and are tired of discussing this subject .Being in competition with another girl is no bad thing especially since, from what you say, it seems that your daughter is above the others in maturity. Yes, they may be jealous of her but it is something one has to learn to live with. If she is pleasant, does not show off or act superior, there is nothing she can do to change their attitude. It looks as if your daughter will go a long way. If she is only ten, things may improve -relationships wise- when she goes to secondary school.
Be proud of your girl and reassure her. Things will get better as she grows older.

Answer 2

Have you thought of accessing her IQ? Maybe she needs to be in an older class. Don't worry about her too much though, many of the great scientists and academics were just the same! When these other children are stuck in the same old small town with their own children, your daughter will be featured in the intellectual magazines and doing TV interviews, then the other mothers will eat their words!

Answer 3

Awww bless her! it just goes to show that your daughter is a independent girl! If she is only 10, then she has got alot of years ahead of her, i would try not to worry to much, as for the " the mother" you say she is a friend? then why is she saying that to you! Apart from that it isn't a nice thing to say is it? your daughter has a problen socializing!
If she was a friend then she would help and give you some good advice!! I hope it all get's better for you!

Answer 4

When people make a statement about other people it is only their opinion, it is not fact. You would know your daughter better than anyone and do you think she has a problem? Dont worry about what anyone else says, its what you think. You see her everyday. You know what kind of personality she has. Is this her basic personality, or has she got a problem? She doesnt have to be like everyone else. Maybe she really is more mature than "friends" her own age. My son has never been able to relate well to people his own age, he thinks like your daughter does and find people his age "childish" He has problems like any teenager does, but I think its just his basic personality. He is different to a lot of kids his age, always has been, but he is well adjusted and not afraid to have an opinion. He doesnt need the approval of his peers. Maybe your daughter is just a very confident young lady who also doesnt need the approval of her peers. Maybe she is happy with who she is and maybe she really doesnt relate to girls her own age. I think competition is healthy. Your daughter wants to be better than this other girl. I cant see a problem with that.

Whether yout daughter has a psychological problem or not, I think it is pretty rude of this other mother to talk about your daughter this way. Like I said, its only her opinion. Maybe you could say to her exactly that. "I understand you have opinions, but could you please keep them to yourself, I am getting sick of hearing them". You could also add that your daughter is just fine with who she is and doesnt need to fit any mold that another person thinks she should fit into. You are the best judge of what your daughters basic personality is. Anyone else really hasnt got a clue and should mind their own business. It sounds to me like your daughter has nothing to prove to anyone and maybe she is comfortable being this way. Maybe you could support her individuality and tell people who give their opinions to mind their own business. Allow your daughter to grow into the person she wants to be. You said it in your opening lines that your daughter is mature, loyal and sensible. You are right they are a virtue and I think you are very lucky to have a daughter like this. Maybe other mothers are jealous of how "together" your daughter is. Whatever the case, they really should mind their own business.
Just be glad you daughter is not the type of person who has to be accepted. She has her own mind, and she is only 10. I think she will go a long way. Just support and encourage her, follow her lead, dont force her into situations you know she would hate. Its such a shame you live in such a small town because people talk, its just the way it is. I really dont think you have anything to worry about. Just ignore the people who are picking fault with your daughter. Is your daughter worried about it? If she isnt, then you shouldnt be worried about it either. If she is worried then you need to support her and tell this other woman to please not talk about your daughter in a negative way anymore.

I think your daughter will go a long way simply because she doesnt need to be accepted...she seems happy with the way she is. Peer pressure is such a huge issue and your daughter does not seem to suffer from it.....that is a wonderful trait. You should be proud your daughter is not insecure and doesnt need to fit in at any cost. Like I said, only you can decide if your daughter has a problem. Personally, I dont think she does at all. I think shes a very together young girl....be proud.

Answer 5

are the friends against her or is she so into herself that she cares only for her sorry to here people like that are still believing that they are something when we are all special get a grip now

Answer 6

Let her do her own thing ignore your friend.Every child is different I should know I have 6 & each one is different.She will devolpe in her own time dont push her,

Answer 7

let her be who she is. dont you think sending her to a shrink will just get her teased? and its none of your friends' business. encourage your daughter to do more extra curricular acitivites, in sport or art, and let her be creative.

Answer 8

What was the question?