Why do Gays think they need to wear thier sexuallity on thier sleeve i mean most straight people dont?

Question

straight people dont walk around declaring that they are "Proud to be heterosexual" just curious this isnt a gay bashing question i would like some thoughtfull insight.

i guess my question was misunderstood. what im talking about is why do gay men have to walk limp wristed, act like a woman, talk with a lisp, wear makeup and then you have gays who are everyday joes. im just curious that is it some sort of requirement to get into the gay community to act as femine and flaming as you can

Answer 1

I am not one of those kind of guys who wears makeup or acts overly effeminate.But when I first came out I did do those things.Well at times anyway.For me, it was about coming out and being part of a community.It was about having fun and not being limited to a gender specific "role".We could be ourselves and have fun.Sometimes we would have that "in your face" attitude just because we wanted people to know that we were not afraid of them and were both happy with who we were and not going to hide under a rock just because people want us to.

But as I got older I grew out of that and became just another 'Joe'.I don't define my sexuality by my behavior and I don't allow my behavior to be based on my sexuality.I am who I am.I like some sports and I wear jeans and T shirts.I don't talk with a lisp and I carry myself like any other guy does.The only time I have to throw my sexuality out there is when the ladies want a date.

But I would like to point out that a very small number of gay men act flamboyant and effeminately.And some do so because they honestly can't help it.Either because they have low amounts of testosterone or because their psychological chemistry is set with an effeminate nature.So, in the numbers of gay men who behave as you mentioned, only a small amount of them, like me, chose to behave that way and usually they grow out of that.Those that don't more then likely never will because it is part of who they are.

I would also like to point out that there are some heterosexual men who also behave in the manner that you describe.They even have their own term.It's called "metrosexual".And in the same way I described why the small amount of gay man behave that way, so do the heterosexual men behave that way for much the same reasons.

Answer 2

You just said that there are what you called "normal" gays, but asked if you had to be feminine to get into the community. Sounds like you answered your own question with a "no". First of all, some femme guys are just acting out their personality, with none of the fears that a straight guy with similar leanings would have. Second, there are a number of reasons to take on such an affectation. You say that because straight people don't do it, it doesn't make sense for gay people to, but hte fact is, things ARENT the same in this society for gay people as they are for straights. You don't have to worry about what's going to happen if you ask someone out who's not interested: the worst that'll happen is a scathing rejection. You won't end up in the hospital under any circumstances. Flamoyancy can function to let other gay men know that one is "available", for one. For another, if people are up front about it (either with "hi I'm X and I'm gay" or with behaviors that are stereotypically gay), then people who have a problem with it aren't going to become their friends, and they won't get hurt in the long run when those people would have eventually found out anyway.

Straight people don't need straight pride because they don't have an entire society telling them everyday that they should be ashamed of who they are because they're straight. "Pride", in the sense of gay pride, isn't what you would normally think of pride as. It's more the absense of shame, an acknowledgment that we are in fact equal to everyone else and not anything less.

Answer 3

I understand your question and it is a good one. I am a gay male and I think I have an answer. First of all some guys cant help that they talk like females some are born with high pitched voices like me for instance. Some guys are a lot flambouant but they cant help it. This better for guys to know that they are gay so you dont have to worry about hitting on a straight guy. And by the way some gay guys dont act really gay and it is hard to tell if they are or arnt. And we dont go and make out in public like a lot of straight people so I think that is how some straight people show that they are straight or by walking down the mall holding hands, there are different ways of broadcasting your preference in gender and these are just some examples.

Answer 4

Why do SOME straight people behave is ridiculous and disgusting ways?

What happens with any minority group is when 1 member of that group does something odd, or noteworthy it is attributed to the group.

Our TV news used to be really bad about that "A Black man robbed a store". They would never say "A white man robbed a store"

Gay Pride parades have some outrageous behavior. So does Mardi Gras. But when naked straight people are trading trinkets for sexual favors on the streets of New Orleans they are never described as heterosexual.

Answer 5

You apparently have never actually met any out gay people.

Gays and lesbians come in all colors, temperaments and flamboyant predelicitions. Your image of Rosie the Riveter and Limp Wristed Lenny come right out of 1950's paranoia, and aren't accurate images of life. It's much like thinking all christians are sheet-wearing, torch carrying racists who used to beat their wives into submission, lynch blacks, and attempting to destroy everyone on the planet but themselves. Certainly there's a small minority of christians who fall into that category, but real life for most people is much more interesting and less stereotypical.

For the record, I'm 31, in only moderate shape, can't sing or dance, have never worn makeup or a dress, and love my gay brothers and sisters who chose to do so. We're proud because humanity is at a crucible, where we either are going to have to learn to be accepting of each others differences or we'll destroy the race and spend another five or six thousand years getting back to this spot. There's nothing shameful about being different anymore, be it a different race, sex, or sexuality, and people from ALL those groups have driven this point home in the last hundred years by being proud of their difference, and saying we're not going pretend to be less different to make someone else comfortable.

Answer 6

I know of at least two men who have characteristics like you used to stereotype gay men who are completely straight and are happily heterosexual.

I don't know how you can ask this question when we are surrounded by heterosexuality at every turn. How much advertising do you see in any medium that has same sex couples in it? How many same sex couple do you see holding hands at the mall? How many same sex couples do you see snuggled up together at the movie theater? How many same sex weddings did you attend last year?

I worry about every time I want to express my love for my g/f by holding hands, hugging or kissing her. Frankly because I am female, I can get away with it because woman can be affectionate and no one thinks twice really. But if we were male, we couldn't do it in most public area's.

I believe that society is limited and stunted by pretending that everyone is vanilla, white, christian, and straight. This is a global society, we all bring something to the table, and deserve the ability to be who and what we are openly and with pride.

Answer 7

There is no requirement to be feminine or flaming, and most gay men aren't.
Straight people 'flaunt' their sexuality every time they mention their wife/girlfriend/husband etc, or hold hands or kiss in public - most gay people don't do any more 'flaunting' than this.

And to 'dawn18417' above - there are gay people who are athletes, popular at school, clever and successful; anything that straight people can be. They are gay simply because they are sexually attracted to the same sex. If it was attention-seeking, why would so many remain in the closet for so long?

Answer 8

The people that you're talking about have realized that "normal society" is full of crap telling them how to live their lives and all. So, instead of listening to what they're told they do what makes them happy, whether that's acting more feminine or wearing make up.

As for wearing our sexuality on our sleeves. What other input do people have as to what we're like. People have media that plays off of stereotypes all the time to go on. Rather than actually think about what they're watching they take that to be reality and stereotype us all to be really girly men that like to take it in the a** and spread AIDS and bull dykes that are out to steal men's wives. So, instead many of us wear our sexuality on our sleeves so that people get the idea that we're just people and not the stereotypical monsters we're pictured as.

Answer 9

A lot of gay men have more estrogen in their systems (their brains release more than average) that doesn't mean that they're trying to act like girls, they're acting naturally. And if you had any decency, you'd realize that just because someone's not as overly macho like you, doesn't mean that they're a freak or anything. And to Dawn- I'm a lesbian, and I was an honor roll student, principal's list, and an active member of the drama club (a popular club at my school)... how does that fit into your stupid and unfounded theory?

Answer 10

not all gays do that except you probably cant tell that they're gay because they act just as most other people do. also there are people who like to declare their heterosexuality. my dad likes to talk in a loud voice and slap everyone on the back and talk about his red bloodedness all the time. if my boyfriends dont know how to fix cars he gives them a right talking to and he is always talking about how to appreciate a woman. he wants everyone to make no mistake that he is straight. a reason why some gays may wish to "wear their sexuality on their sleeve" is to make a point that they are who they are and they arent going to pretend just to fit in with everyone else. its an oppresion thing.