I was arranged and have two kids and found that we are unhappy and not compatible at all after 8yrs of marriage. Are you Staying together for the sake for the family & society? Parents get devasted when their kids marriage is not going well. They pretend to get sick, faint, or even say they will kill themselves if the marriage breaks up. They are more worried about what society- friends,family,neighbors will think of them then their own kids happiness. How do you start over when parents are on a suicide mission out for themselves.?
2006-11-11 20:36:52 · 11 answers · asked by RSM 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
People all over the world seem to think that arranged marriages don't work and that the couple stick together just for the sake of it. They conveniently forget that more than the no., of people unhappy with the A.. Mar.. it is the ones who date, love and marry, break up equally fast. THE FAULT IS NOT WITH THE WAY YOU GET MARRIED - ARRANGED 0R LOVE - IT IS THE PEOPLE WHO ARE INVOLVED!!
Arranged or love marriage , marriage is an institution which is built on the foundation of compromises. Without compromises in married life, you'll not survive it.
As for your situation, I don't know the basic facts - so it would be wrong to suggest anything. But one thing I can tell u is that, now that u have 2 kids, their future has to be given more importance. Please think of their plight in case u decide to get out?
Almost all the answers u get here are from people whose culture, society and way of living is entirely different from that of an Indian. They don't know the ground realities here. So don't get carried away by all the seemingly supportive answers for your state of mind. Think about the kids and act accordingly... Sorry if I sound to be preaching, but it's my wish to be of help...
All the best....
2006-11-11 21:25:05 · answer #1 · answered by skr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1
2016-05-05 22:36:35 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the matter of cheating we cannot confine this only to one sex. Both men and women are cheating their partners. If you see this YA everyday you can see women are more in front for cheating their partners. Even after 45 years some women are looking for men around them in order to finish their boredom. Then the case of arranged / love marriage. Whatever may be the form of marriage it is the attitude, adaptability and understanding of the partners determine whether a married life will be nice or bad. In a relationship there should be lot of adjustments, understanding, sharing, mutual responsibility etc. If any one of the parties step back in accomplishing their part, the married life will not be nice. In your case you had this lost feeling from the beginning of your marriage. Your behaviour and attitude towards your husband might have been with this inhibition. Till a little time he might have tried to bring you in the line and when he failed he found his own way. Mine was an arranged marriage and 17 years passed with every thing, little fighting and more love. Still we feel like we are just married only. She care for me a lot so as me also. So married life is not a rule oriented deal. It is mere sharing , give and take. Ofcourse you lost one. But you could not cope with what did you get. That was your problem. Don't blame parents. They always concern about your wellbeing and to keep your status in the society.
2016-05-22 06:44:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was married in an arranged manner and my marriage ended in divorce. I have seen some arranged marriages work though. They involve a lot of compromise and adjustment.
Also, once the couple has kids, they don't want to divorce for their sake.
You have to look out for yourself and then your family. If you are not happy and are suffering they what use are you to your family?
2006-11-12 08:07:24 · answer #4 · answered by Stareyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not Indian. But my mom is Japanese so she is naturally controlling =*( with ALL the men that I ever dated it has been hell after hell. She pretends to be ill and I don't agree with it. I am happily married now and she has to accept it. She too, like most Japanese people are paranoid with what people will think. And as an American
I feel like that way of thinking is draining. I have to live my own life and I will. My family disapproved when I told them I'd be marrying my husband and I said then fine, I'm moving on without you guys. Again you have to live your own life.
After a year they got over it and I'm VERY happy because I couldn't have asked for anything more then to be married to a wonderful man.
I hope you find solace in your situation. There is one God, and he is always watching all of us. You are not selfish if you are trying to find a compatible partner, if anything your contributing to a more harmonious earth! ^_^ Good luck to you!! And remember Love and courage!!
2006-11-11 20:51:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every Indian couple I have ever met and I have met lots, have been unhappy in their arranged marriages... If the parents r here in America, tell them to shut up....If they r in ur old country, let them dramatize, u stand by and do what u want anyway.
2006-11-11 20:43:33 · answer #6 · answered by angel 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hi
2016-03-06 00:59:10 · answer #7 · answered by rick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most indian men and women who were arranged probably won't admit they are unhappy to their family and friends
2006-11-11 21:04:36 · answer #8 · answered by Ry126 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of you never told us what is the problem.? is your wife making problem or you?. why did you get married and have two kids if you are not happy? thats your mistake.
mail me on mkkittu@yahoo.com for more suggession.
2006-11-11 21:09:24 · answer #9 · answered by Krrishh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you must make your own decisions and not let your perants black mail you , you will have to deal with there decisions but they make there own decsions as well
2006-11-11 20:58:16 · answer #10 · answered by jac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋