Hi... I've been friends with this bengali muslim girl for more than year already and we see each other in school... and recently for the past 2 months we've been calling each other everyday and talking for 2-3 hrs every night about anything and everything and she is someone I can see myself with. However, she's muslim and she can only marry another muslim I think? I never brought up about me liking her or what not.. but I just really like her company and I would do anything for her. Can anyone give me any thoughts on this and if there are any muslim girls, can you please give me your opinions? I'm chinese and I would marry her, but I wouldn't want to bring it up until I get some clarity on this issue because I wouldn't want to jeopardize what we have now. Also, I noticed in school, she doesn't really talk to me much when her muslim friends are around. But when they aren't, we would always talk... And I would also like to know if us talking so much on the phone means anything. Thanks!
2006-11-11 20:14:26 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
And I don't know if some of you know this, but muslim women can't date, so I can only get married.. And I am chinese and I have no religion =X so... I wouldn't mind converting
2006-11-11 20:14:40 · update #1
Assalamo Aleikom,
HI, I'm a Muslim woman living in the USA, I always had some non-Muslim friends around and I think I can understand what you are going through.
Yes, a Muslim girl have to marry a Muslim man (no matter what is his nationality), I think it will be easier for you to learn a bit about Islam before expressing any feeling to her, actually she can help you out with that and hopefully you'll be interested in Islam then religion won't be an issue between you and her.
we can discuss it , feel free to email me
Take care and good luck !!!
Salam.
2006-11-13 11:14:48 · answer #1 · answered by hod 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right, Muslim women can only marry Muslim men. With regard to talking to you on the phone, from what you've explained I can see she's interested in you but maybe she does not talk to you as often when she's with her Muslim friends because they will start lecturing her about the fact that she can't marry you until you convert.
Think about it thoroughly because converting is not an easy thing to do. Read and get information about Islam and if you're convinced then convert and tell her that you want to marry her.
You should not convert for a woman, only convert if you're truly convinced.
2006-11-11 20:20:14 · answer #2 · answered by rinah 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, if she comes from a strict Muslim family (and it sounds like she may) she might adhere to no conversing with males outside her family unless she is escorted by one of them. This is considered flirtatious behavior which is a no-no. Talking could mean something if she subscribes to this belief, or more than not, she could be westernized in her thinking where she views herself as an independent woman. I think before you start thinking marriage, you better find out if she has the same feelings for you; don't put the cart before the horse. Religion and similar values can be discussed later... besides, she might be "promised" to someone else already. Good luck!
2006-11-11 20:25:20 · answer #3 · answered by J.B. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can.
Here are the steps:
1- You get circumcized ASAP.
2- You go to the house and ask her hand to the dad. (dont forget to remove your shoes when entering the doorstep).
3- You ask if there is any fee to pay
4- You declare high and loud that you are ready to become a muslim (easy thing: you have to mumble in arabic one sentence saying that God is almighty and that Mohammed is his prophet).
You answer "yes" if the Sheik asks you whether you are circumcized, and be ready to show him...
5- Done: you sign a contract and go home with the bride
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You might be asked to throw a party for a thousand bengalis, family members who will have to come over from Bangladesh (you will have to deal with getting them air tickets and accomodation, and gifts).
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Give it a thought and discuss it (on the phone like you do now) with your beloved.
Good luck !!
2006-11-11 20:25:06 · answer #4 · answered by Sweet Dragon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a man with a woman or vice versa,
and society has even allowed it to be of the
same sex. However religion sometimes dictates
who can be married to whom, If the God of the
universe was here he could give u a more direct
answer but since He is not then use ur judgment
because u were given a brain and do not let
other people influence u if you and her are
truly in love.
2006-11-12 02:13:32 · answer #5 · answered by Iris A. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well its tradition in muslims that a muslim cant get married to other exept the muslim but but but love is not affraid from all such things i guess. if it would be like so then the word "love marriage" would havent come in this world. and dont take me wrong but i want to say that if she gets afraid and dont talks to you in front of her muslim friends then i think that you should clear it out about your feelings with her else i think that she is doing timepass. if she realy loves you then ask her and if she yes then discuss what to do. if you both love each other and want to be with each other then no one can come in between. its saying in muslims only " jabh miya biwi raaji toh kya karega qasi". so be sure of your muslim friend first whether she will marry you or not ,if yes then ok and if no then move ahead. one more thing if its no problem for you to get converted into muslim then it would be more nice for you both as then her family will not have much restriction on your boths relationship but dear dont mind but pls be sure of your muslim friend that she is not doing timepass. so all the best and dont wait just ask her today itself as tomorrow never comes. go ahead !!
2006-11-11 20:23:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey.....i liked ur story,,,,but i am sorry,,,,and u r right,,,,,Muslim girls
can not marry any one but Muslim guys,,,, i know u love her but that just how it is,,,, i know it is SO hard,,,,but the only way to marry her is 4 u to be Muslim,and that is not an easy thing,,
but Islam is so great and nice,,,u can have books abut Islam,,
but the most important thing is 4 u not to be Muslim just 4 a girl even if u love her,,,,u have to believe in Islam!!!! if u did not it wont work!!
2006-11-12 03:13:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes we can but usually we don't want to do that cause of Family , tradition and religion, If she is madly in love with u then may be she'll able to pass this border or else take her just as a good friend.
2006-11-11 21:27:52 · answer #8 · answered by Fahim . 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes Muslim girls can't marry a man unless he was a Muslim , so if you really like her so just become a Muslim
2006-11-12 03:19:05 · answer #9 · answered by loli 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ofcourse u guys can get married.. why not?.. oooh.. tlkin on the fone everyday for 2-3 hours does mean sumthin!!
2006-11-11 20:21:20 · answer #10 · answered by Angelik-->Gelly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋