Can an abused child make a good marriage partner?

Question

I met a guy I was crazy about--we were both off the charts (and both over 50). Then, the history: he had been beaten daily by mother and brother, was a juvie delinquent who ran away from home. Grew up to earn a judicial seat. That was great. My background? I shared: physical abuse that involved broken bones plus sexual exploits by grandpa when I was six. I ain't Oprah, but I have a creative mind that earns me a very decent income. Toss these two in a crucible and distrust makes communication volatile. He's divorcing TWICE, and I've never married. What's missing?: TRUST.

How can I, over 50, find love? Why would I want someone intent on impressing someone 25 years younger? Said guy lied about his marriage status and then accuses me of being controlling and hateful after I found out and asked questions. For me, a 59 year on the prowl for a 35 year old is NOT marriage material. A father with responsibilities of 3 college kids is. What about me? Always the bridesmaid, never trusted.

Answer 1

My wife was severely abused as a child (no details) We are happy in our marriage and she is an excellent wife and partner. So the answer is yes but it requires patience and understanding. As far as your plight I will wish you the best on finding true love, it is possible and it is possible over 50. But if there is no trust in that one you are crazy about then move on. Lies have no place in a relationship.

Answer 2

You've asked a loaded question as far as I'm concerned, so what are you really looking for? You've spend all your adult life as a single person but you've reached an age where most of the men you meet will come with a past. I'm sure you have one yourself, married or not. As for the age difference, so what, that became a non issue at 35. Sounds like you are the one with concerns about the age difference, maybe he has 2 failed marriages because the woman he chose wasn't mature enough for him. My best friends have a 16 year difference between them, she is the oldest of the 2. I've never seen a more together couple. So stop worrying so much about what others think and start thinking about what you want. Only you get to make this decision.

Answer 3

Eh, I'm pretty sure you know the answer. And you're right. This man is not a good partner, but not just because he is divorced. Because He had been divorced so many times, and was dishonest about it. I agree with concentrating on yourself. When you least expect it. Love will find ya!

Answer 4

Abuse is a general term for the use or treatment of something (person, thing, idea, etc.) that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person or thing, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) or is unlawful or wrongful. Its close synonyms are mistreatment and maltreatment. The word "misuse" has a more distant meaning of incorrect, uneducated use, not necessary harmful.

Abuse can be something as simple as damaging a piece of equipment through using it the wrong way, or as serious as severe maltreatment of a person. Abuse may be direct and overt, or may be disguised and covert.

Several types of abuse include:

Sexual abuse: The improper use of another person for sexual purposes, generally without their consent or under physical or psychological pressure (which may include children whether abused by parents, those in loco parentis or strangers).
Physical abuse: Where one person inflicts physical violence or pain on another.
Emotional abuse or psychological abuse: coercion, humiliation, intimidation, relational aggression, parental alienation or covert incest: Where one person uses emotional or psychological coercion to compel another to do something they do not want, or is not in their best interests; or when one person manipulates another's emotional or psychological state for their own ends (see battered person syndrome), or commits psychological aggression using ostensibly non-violent methods to inflict mental or emotional violence or pain on another.
Drug abuse: the misuse of drugs, alcohol or other substances, usually a form of addiction.
Child abuse: Abuse, usually physical, emotional or sexual, directed at a child.
Incest: Sexual activity between close family members.
Spousal abuse (or domestic violence): Abuse, usually physical, or psychological abuse, directed at one's spouse.
Elder abuse: Abuse, most often physical or in the form of psychological threats, directed at the elderly, especially in nursing homes and similar institutions.
Human rights abuse: Violation of human rights.
Verbal abuse: The use of foul language, obscenities or demeaning talk directed at another.
Animal abuse: Abuse or cruelty directed at animals.
Legal abuse: Vexatious litigation or malicious prosecution to retaliate, coerce, or emotionally/financially harm a person.

Answer 5

Don't be with a guy that has been divorced...They aren't good marriage matieral in the first place...Don't go out looking for love, cuz you won't find it...Do things and discover things that make you happy....Then love will find you! Good luck :)

Answer 6

certainly, this has passed off. I felt very unhappy for him and instructed him, of direction, that no newborn could be subjected to such mistreatment. additionally, I commiserate with him with regard to the guy who did it to him (a relatives member). fortuitously, it does not seem to have affected him sexually.

Answer 7

At your age, He is not A good Marriage partner..
Use him for what he is,A sex toy and leave him!!!!!!!