I'm confused... could I be transgendered? Or would I know already?

Question

I don't know... I am a young butch lesbian, and while I'm obviously pretty masculine (or at least neutral) in the way I dress, act, and speak, I don't really think of myself as male, and I never really have. At the same time, I never thought of myself as female or androgynous, either. I've always been a tomboy and puberty was not a great shock, but I now dislike my female body and find myself increasingly thinking about how I might like to be a male. I'm still attracted to females, I just think that maybe in my heart of hearts I am a guy. I don't know though, because aren't transgendered people supposed to know from early childhood that they are really another gender? And if I'm ftm, shouldn't I really want male reproductive parts? Because I would like them but then again I can't justify the costs of potential surgeries. Please do not tell me that it is natural to question this sort of thing, because I know that, but I am really serious here. Please help me! Thank you in advance.

I mean I don't HATE my current female bits, in the sense that they don't prevent me from living a normal life or make me really depressed, and I don't feel as though I absolutely MUST have a phallus, but... I just don't really feel comfortable as a female, and I think that I'd be more at home being a male.

Oh, and please do not say that I should talk with my parents or counselor about it because I do not feel that I can or even should.

Answer 1

Well, you say that you would feel more comfortable as a male, so I guess that would be true. You DEFINITELY don't have to know from childhood that you were transgendered. There are people who live their lives fine, happily, and then, at 20, 30, 50, 60, whenever- realize that they want to change their sex. Knowing beforehand is not a prerequisite.

Shouldn't you really want male reproductive parts? Not necessarily. I mean, there are two different things we're dealing with here, sex, and gender. Your sex- hormones and genitals and breasts, and something very private. Few people- mostly doctors and lovers- are only going to see your sex. However, everyone will see your gender, your presentation as male, and how they react and treat you and interact with you is a big part of gender, much more than a mind-body mismatch. I think that's the heart of your feelings, and I think that you are transgendered, but not transsexual- i.e. you want to be taken as a man, but it isn't as though you're trapped in a woman's body, but rather, trapped by society's gender definitions. So break free of those definitions, if you want, by passing as a man.

I hope that helps- and just remember, I'm no expert. Just trying to dole out good advice if I think I have some.

Answer 2

Transgender is a broad term that covers more than just surgery-tracked transsexuals, and from what you describe I'd say you fit somewhere in there. I'd guess 'genderqueer' (which I hope doesn't come across as an offensive term, most of the folks I've heard use it do so with pride) might fit you. Not really a boy, not really a girl, not really an androgyne. Just a person with a female body and a masculine attitude.

Or it could be that you really are a guy, and you've just repressed the idea for various reasons (like being torn between thinking you need the male parts if you're a guy, but not being able to justify the costs and risks of the surgery for what you get out of it; or not wanting to look like you're just running away from being a butch lesbian.) Or a whole host of other possibilities.

In the end (and this is going to be confusing,) you do 'know' the answer. But you don't *know* that you know; something is still keeping your conscious mind from accepting it. So all I can really say is.. yes, you could be.

Answer 3

Looking at what you said in your original question and with your additional details - it is difficult to know what to advise you as you have clearly been doing some serious thinking for yourself. If you are considering the transgender route, it is not so much the cost, but the emotional and physical strain changing in to a man can cause. Therefore that is something you need to be very sure about before going deciding to do that.

Really with you, judging from what you've said, there is no reason to go down the transgender route. The best thing you can do is stop looking for defintions for the way you are and feel. It seems definitions are far too restrictive for you and you feel you don't tick all the boxes. Sharing how you feel with others is important and something you may well be more ready to do then you give yourself credit for. If you weren't ready or willing to do that why the question on here in the first place. Also by sharing with others you can find out you are far from alone in this gender confusion and start working with others on finding some inner peace.

Another thing I would say is that the trouble with Yahoo Answers is any answer you get is ultimately going to be unsatisfying as until you actually properly speak and share with people you are only really getting halp baked opinions and assumptions based on the impact to the individual of the words you have written. Good luck with this, but never forget you are far from alone and you are makingimportant steps in being honest with yourself!

Answer 4

You are in an interesting situation. In some ways, I can understand how you feel. I don't think that every transgendered person knows from childhood that they are. Everyone is different. Maybe you are still trying to figure out who you really are. Perhaps some soul searching and journal writing and new hobbies might be able to help you feel more comfortable in your own skin. On the other hand, maybe you really are a transgendered person. Maybe only time will tell. Keep in mind, though, that you don't actually have to have gender reassignment surgery. Many transgendered individuals are comfortable changing their appearence and keeping their parts. And the GLBT community has a place for those people. Good luck!

Answer 5

Transgender is a word that is used for the whole greyscale in between feeling your biological gender and feeling the opposite of your biological gender.
This greyscale has many colours.

Personally I feel totally inbetween. I call myself androgyn or transgender, I feel both woman and man.
Some might say I am a strange fish. My biological gender is female, and I do dress inbetween. For a woman it is not seen as strange to dress androgyne, fashion allows it. As a biological woman I can wear pants of course, but men can't wear skirts.
So, most people who see me don't actually see me as transgender, unless I tell them about my feelings.
My hair is long, so I could easely pass for a 'normal' woman, looking and behaving boyish.
Nevertheless, I DO feel inbetween.
Yes, I do know that my whole life. But that's me.
For me, I have thought about going into transition. But because I do feel inbetween, I know that I will feel the same when I have a masculine body. That's why I personally will not go through a transition. Now, my body is a nice body and everything works out fine. If I would go through transition, I would face a whole range of new problems. My body might not look as good anymore, it might loose the ability to function sexually the way I want it to function, and I would face a lot of social things.
And, I would still feel inbetween.

This is in my case of course. Yours might be different. But before you really start to think about transition, beware of what you are going for. You can't turn it back, so you must have NO doubts whatsoever about it! Reading your question, it seems to me that you have many doubts and you are only starting to discover who you are.
When I say that you can't turn it back, I am not only talking about surgery. Taking hormones is doing that as well. As soon as you had your first testosteron injection, things will change that you can't change back.

Take your time, search for information and get to know yourself very much before you ever take the step. That's the best advise I can give. Learn to really know yourself. The answer is in you. Don't make hasty conclusions.

Take care!

Answer 6

For a lot of straight transmen, they get to the point that you're at before they realize that they're trans. Many transmen don't get the bottom stuff done though. I've gotten that cost vs. results reason from many transmen. There's even non-op transwomen. The bottom surgeries aren't for everyone. Heck, transitioning isn't for everyone in the transgender community. The key is to do what you're happy with. If you're ok living as a lesbian do that. If you want to go by a male name, take T, and get the top surgery do that. Do only what makes you comfortable living in your body. You could be a transman. Than again you could be in last last group in the trans community of people that don't exactly fit in the standard groups of normal, ts, and cd. Only you will know how you want to live your life. For some it isn't as simple as waking up and realizing that they're trans. It takes time to figure out where they want to go with their lives.

Answer 7

the only individual at a loss for words is you. babies could desire to verify the reality at school, not the mambo-jumbo of religious nuts or the loopy stuff on television at the instant. they could study that what they watch on television is fiction and that they could understand that. How does a Transgendered instructor confuse babies? If something it teaches them to be tolerant of anybody regardless of their race, sexual orientation or the different discrimination. The TG instructor will come throughout the time of as commonly used in all different respects of his or her existence. perhaps the guy is so thoroughly tailored to his or her new gender that the youngsters do not even understand they have been yet another gender at beginning. a individual in a wheelchair won't have any effect on college babies so stop making up nonsense and settle for human beings for who they're. the main perplexing concern to babies are human beings such as you who think of of all the stereotypes to denigrate. you'll be banned from any communique with any babies till you get your ideas straightened out.

Answer 8

It Sounds To Me .. You Are TransGender There Is Nothing Wrong With This .. And no You Dont Have To Want A P e n i s i mean You Can Feel Like a Man .. in The Inside .. But No You Dont Have To Want Anything .. For More info go to www.transgenderinfo.com

Answer 9

I heard hormone therapy is a good thing for most people in your position. Testosterone could give you a few more male physical features to make the transition easier for you. I don't really know the details, but if you feel more comfortable living as a male, you should go for it. Whatever you decide to do, just make sure you are happy.

Answer 10

Honestly, I think you should talk to another transgender person who will know exactly how you feel. Life can be so short so do what you have to, to make yourself happy. But I don't think that anyone who has not gone through your situation could give you a fair opinion. Ask if someone who has gone through it can e mail you, maybe they can give you a telephone number that you can call, they might even have a place near you that's confidential that you can talk to others. Good luck, God bless & be happy no matter what ANYONE else says.