Hi there, in desperate need for some advice.. I am married and on the brink of divorce?

Question

My husband and I have been married for nearly 2 years (anniversary this month, Nov) I met him when I was 21, I am 26 now, it was the strongest most intense love ever. Our wedding day was the most amazing and I always thought that we will be together forever no matter what. Then, over a few months my life has turned upside down. We've been living thousands of miles apart for over 6 months.

My husband had a breakdown in april this year, I thought everything was under control but he was facing many financial troubles he couldn't handle. I wasn't working but looking for a job at time. Although I didn't contribute financially, we were both living at my parents flat (a holiday home, they live in the middle east) and that I saw as my contribution. bottom line is he asked me to leave and said it was over and cut contact, now i got a job and a car and he wants me back but i have another man in my life who loves me and takes care of me. I have to choose. I care about both, what should i do?

Answer 1

Marriage is for better or worse, richer or poorer that said, if the situation shall ever rise again where you don't have a job he will prob. tell you to hit the road jack, again. So tell him to hit it now! Obviously he didn't take his vows seriuosly.

Answer 2

This is tricky. But you say youre on the brink of divorce, which means technically you are still married. He never should have walked away, but no one should have given up on the marriage. I think you try to work it out, maybe see a marriage counselor and really sit down and talk. Make sure you are trying to work it out for the right reasons(i.e. you love each other, not that he needs a place to stay or some extra money, etc.) If that doesnt work, definitely get the divorce before you start seeing someone else. Thats the fair thing to do at least for their sake
Good luck with everything!

Answer 3

So let me get this right: You both are living rent free accommodation, which is the same as you having a job which just pays the rent, and then he kicks you out, which means he has to shift out as well.
Then he says he doesn't want to see ever again, and shifts a thousand miles away.
You make no mention of Ex sending you any support money, nor of contacting you to check on your welfare, so I suspect there wasn't any money or support.
Then he discovers you not only can manage without him, but better without him than with him.

My advice is this: Stick with your new man.

Also, after looking at some of the other comments, the grounds for divorce in the Old Testament are the husband had to declare it in writing. Ex did it better than in writing: He kicked you out, he shouted at you, "I don't want you in my life", he moved away. There was very little else he could have done to make it plain he didn't want you in his life.
Some people will say you are wrong, but God knows exactly what happened. I believe God regards you as not being married to Ex.

Answer 4

Things gets very difficult once you have a third party in your life.

I don't quite get what you mean, both of you lived on your parents flat, but your husband asked you to leave him?

Anyway, both you and your husband are still bonded with marriage, you have another man taking care of you while your husband was away since last April, if your husband now know that you have someone living with you and your husband still insist for you to comeback, check his finance first! If he is in stable finance condition, this then means that he loves you, go back to him!

If not, maybe he is after your money, then talk to him that it is probably better to have the divorce!

Answer 5

Your marriage is more important. First of all you married him...that means something. Just because times get hard doesn't mean you should run away. I think getting divorced is trashy. You said I do at that alter...through better or worse...till death. If that love was there a couple of years ago, you can find it again. It sounds like you are with the current man just because you needed someone to pay your bills. Don't become another divorce statistic...make it work. It doesn't even sound like you have tried to make it work. Give it atleast a year more of trying before you even contemplate divorce.

Answer 6

What did you think of relationship and engagement become approximately "relaxing and video games", did you talk not something and precisely how long did you date? Did he agree or perhaps want this being pregnant, through fact now a days there is unquestionably no clarification for "injuries", which it become not. This seperation is the top, the only time a seperation facilitates is with dependancy and/or abuse, etc. Pratise makes suitable and a pair can not pratise working factor out with the help of seperating, it takes counseling, yet on condition that "he" desires to maintain it. If he would not such as you while your pregnant, he will like it plenty much less while the artwork, stress and duty of a toddler comes alongside. Why women human beings think of they might desire to get pregnant right this moment after marriage is previous me, the data have been on your face for 40 yrs, toddlers are the quantity one clarification for divorce, the main demanding factor on a marriage. a pair is assume to delight in one yet another for various yrs earlier toddlers, that is termed "strengthening the foundations of a relationship", in case you build a house on hollow floor, how long do you think of that is going to final? Your relationship become liable to initiate with and that i'm getting the sensation he made sparkling he didn't want toddlers, for countless yrs. So interestingly as in case you have become a member of the only mothers and fathers circulate. that is tremendously hard over here, yet you will proceed to exist. I in basic terms desire for the toddler's sake he sticks around, that is rather hard on the little boys to not have a dad and as puzzling as we attempt, it won't be an identical to them, yet possibility is that if that is a boy, he would be so plenty greater apt to handle some duty.

Answer 7

Are you sure of this guy? as I left a marraige thinking the same about a person after a year he went on to greener pastures, you my pet, are the only one that can weigh up the pros and cons.I was a couple of years older at the time but my life was hell lonely looking for love in ALL THE WRONG PLACES.So think long and hard, love.
I have now been living and loving a lovely man for 16 years.
Good luck on your quest.

Answer 8

It kind of sounds like your a gold digger - not quite, but you expect guys to support you like they're your father. If you cut contact how does he know you have a job & car? Why would that alone make him want you back? Ask him about that. But if you're happy, stay where you're at.

Answer 9

Divorce the first guy and go for the second.
I think you are really being pretty rational about this, and on the road to recovery, but don't jump into marriage right away.
What is the hurry?
You needed stability and you are on the way to that. Don't blow it.

Answer 10

If you feel that your husband only wants you back because now you have money, etc. to offer (which you didn't have before), then I say why let yourself be used like that?