When you're getting a divorce is it legal for your spouse to have his female"friend"over to spend time w/kids

Question

I just want to know is it legal or morally ok to have your husband that has been cheating on you with another women and has now filed for a divorce to be with her, and now all of a sudden he brings the kids home from his weekend w/the kids and they are telling me all about this day that they spent with their dad and his female "friend". They seemed to be somewhat bothered by it. They are 7 and 11. I am really bothered I am trying to teach the kids that we are still married and this is wrong. It doesnt help that I still love this man im sure but after this I couldnt have him back if I it was an option. I feel that was just wrong as upset with this whole divorce things the kids are having to deal with already. I mean this is still really fresh for them. I has only been 6 mths. But my husband thinks he LOVES her. She left her husband also.

Help is this legal? Can he have her around my kids if we are not even divorced? I mean I know he cant have over night after divorce what about now?

Answer 1

I am sorry, but you are in the wrong for "teaching" the kids you are still married. While the divorce is not final, in no way are you still a family unit and you should be doing the right thing in helping your children adjust to the new situation.

I see exactly what you are doing - you are trying to turn the children against their father by telling them he is doing the wrong thing. That is NOT fair on your children and will only confuse them.

While it may be a little early to have his new partner involved with the children, when, pray tell is the right time? 2 years? 5 years? 10 years?

It has happened, the marriage is over, help your children adjust rather than clinging to the past.

Get yourself some counselling to help you deal with oyur own pain and distress, but STOP involving your children in an emotional tug-of-war with their father. It is not the right thing to do. You cannot make the call on whether he loves this woman or not - you are clutching at straws by saying "he thinks he loves " - you need to accept the reality of the situation and move on yourself.

Answer 2

Don't pit your kids against their father or your father's girlfriend, you're only making it more difficult for them & it'll bite you in the butt. Let them make their own opinions, they'll relize things when they're older. It's not illegal for his gf to be around your kids, even if you're not divorced, your husband should have waited until you were divorced, but it has been 6 months and that's probably a long enough gap before the kids meet her. Just try to move on, get your divorce finalized, he's dirt. And for the kids sake, don't talk bad about him or her infront of them, they'll only grow to resent you.

Answer 3

I'm going through the same thing. Yes, it is legal, just not morally right. I've been going through this for 2 yrs. now and it is definately bothering the children but what the courts look at is that he is caring for the children not what is going on in the bedroom. It is an awful thing to go through and all you can do is be there for your children, you be the one that is constantly there for them and maintain a stable environment.

Answer 4

I believe that you are currently under emotionally stress.

It is legal, but if you do not want this to hurt your children, then try to talk to him and ask for his understanding for the moral of both of your children until both of them are married, since the divorce papers are not out yet, he should not do that.

Its a kind of a difficult situation for the 4 of you, if you do not want to have this divorce (I feel that way), then talk to him once more and try to work out. Ask him what can make him happy to be with you and try to serve!

Answer 5

Alright, well he should have more respect for his kids, been there done that, talk to him, and tell him u dont like the idea of his female friend coming over until you guys are offically divorce. you kids are just trying to cope with this, a female friend coming over, its going to make things worse for them, its to much for them that you guys are divorcing.

Answer 6

Sounds like a jerk. It is not illegal for him to have his girl around the kids. It is kinda a jacked up thing to do. He should keep her separate from the kids at least until the divorce is final.

Answer 7

It depends on what your order says, mine says that it is not okay. If it bothers the kids take them to see a therapist and let them voice their opinions to a professional. It would be good for them to tell someone how they feel. They are not going to tell you the truth because they are going to protect you. They might like dad's new friend but don't want to tell you because they don't want to hurt you.

Answer 8

It is totally legal. It may hurt your feelings and you may hate her but there isn't much you can do about it unless you can prove that she's a danger to the children.

The healthiest thing for your children is to try to accept this woman, you don't have to be friends with her obviously, but you do need to accept her as a part of their life.

Answer 9

I dont know if theres anything you can do if that guy wants to date someone else. You can how ever try to get full custody and use that against him in court . Dont try to undermine with the kids because it will confuse them. I would just try to not let them go over there for a while and keep them busy. Keep them all weekends unless the kids ask to go over to see their dad. That guys is a loser for even bringing another woman around his kids while hes still married.

Answer 10

No. A pornstar could carry lower back till the acceptable clips have been recorded, and each thing is suited... They hardly get to totally appreciate themselves. And a gynecologist does not have relaxing...