The drama is really only coming from one of the women who hates me for no reason. Other than that its the simple fact that Im not a kid person. I love his kids, theyre great, and they love me. I just dont want to be around them or any kids for that matter on a regular basis. I feel horrible and Ive told him this and that we should break up b/c he deserves to be with someone better but he just keeps saying that I dont have to wanna be around them all the time. Well what about when we get a place together and its his weekend with one of his daughters and Im not in a 'kid' mood (which is 85% of the time). What is he gonna do, bring her somewhere else for the weekend? Am I gonna leave for the weekend? I dont know what to do. Or maybe I do know what to do (break it off) but I just dont want to lose him. I suppose if I really did love him I would be more accepting of his kids. I never keep him from seeing them though, I would never. I suggest he see them more in fact.
2006-11-11 18:14:09 · 23 answers · asked by Mia 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
"I just dont want to be around them or any kids for that matter on a regular basis. "= your man has 3 kids. you are with the wrong person if you do not like kids "85 percent of the time".
2006-11-11 18:16:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to let him go. They are his children and they should come first, but how can they when you (most of the time) don't want them around. Those children probably have enough issues having a Dad that's not there for them at any given time and (for now)2 other half siblings. Have you thought about what would happen if something were to happen to one of their Mother's? He'd have that child full time. And your right if you really loved him you'd make the sacrifice and not even think about the child or you going else where for the weekend. Even though you don't like children surely you know they must come first.
2006-11-11 18:23:14 · answer #2 · answered by sharpeilvr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Three kids by three different women and that isn't enough of a hint to run screaming, well here's another not only will you have to put up with the kids but what kind of life will you two have paying child support for 3 kids, cause honey if you marry him it will be your bill too. Go find a real man, real men don't go making babies and then abandoning them and their mothers, that is a boy not a man.
2006-11-13 01:40:28 · answer #3 · answered by sherzada8 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, the reason why one of the women (I'm surprised it's only one) hates you is because you're with him and she's not. plain and simple jealousy.
Second, honestly, if you're not a kid kind of person, you really shouldn't be with this guy. There are several issues at stake here, and his having 3 kids by 3 different women is one of them. What's that say about his ability to maintain a relationship? (Of course, you haven't really gone into detail about that, but it is usually an assumption people make when they see that stat)
Thirdly, If you aren't a kid person, it is only going to put more and more strain on your relationship with this guy as you go on. Because there will be times you don't want kids around and he'll have his kid(s) and he'll be mad that you don't want to hang around with him and the kid(s), even if he says he's not.
You really need to break up with him if only to salvage any kind of friendship you have with this guy. Because trust me, one day it'll get ugly and you won't have him around as even a friend.
jmho
2006-11-11 18:23:04 · answer #4 · answered by grizabellamom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are looking to break up.
Everyone is not cut out to deal with kids, at least you are telling your b/f how you feel, and not being phony about it. I don't suggest you all get an apartment together, at least not until you can deal with the fact they will be coming over for nights and weekends, not to mention holiday's. Kids are there forever, either you deal with it or leave it alone. Don't pretend, be true to yourself. Who cares about the kids mothers, some of them don't like the girlfriend because they want that spot. So that's only jealousy, them jealous of you.
Figure out what you want, and don't want to deal with. Be true to yourself.
2006-11-11 18:39:35 · answer #5 · answered by mouse in chicago 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in case you're uncertain he's what you prefer, i could say it's time to bypass on. If somebody asks you in case you prefer to marry him and you stall and could desire to think of roughly it, the respond is definitely no. the toddler-mama drama will probable worsen. that's what passed off in my adventure. toddler-mama desires to bypass and my bf is going to persist with to maintain his relationship along with his newborn. that's good of him as a father, yet she's removing somebody i admire dearly. shifting on would be very not undemanding and that i plan to evade relationship adult males with childrens sooner or later. I recommend you do the comparable. Having a relationship bypass undesirable breaks extra hearts than the two....it breaks the hearts of the youngsters besides. then you certainly finally end up lacking him and the youngsters. A double whammy. in case you verify to stay, talk with him. See if there is something you adult males can do to ease the drama. Who cares if some huge calls you a "residing house wrecker". No, you does not be lacking out on something particular the two. even although he has had childrens till now, i'm specific the newborn he has with somebody he loves (certainly loves) often is the main particular.
2016-10-17 04:26:06 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either learn to be a "kid" person or break up with him. You will also have to learn to deal with the mothers of his children because he will ALWAYS be tied to them for as long as his children are alive whether YOU like all the "drama" or not. That's what you get into when you get involved with man who has children. Especially one who likes to "spread his sperm" around...I figure you're going to be "baby mama number four" in the not too distant future, then some unburdened with child honey will come along that will strike his fancy and he will be giving HER the same line he has been giving you, which is probably the same line he gave to "baby mama number three and two" not to mention baby mama number one.
2006-11-11 18:20:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
the fact is the drama is always going to be there .and I'm guessing u knew about these kids?u should decide whether u want to stay or go now if not for the kids but for u .u don't wanna be 4th baby momma and then decide this is the wrong man .and if you wanna stay you have to accept all the kids and all the drama .good luck .
2006-11-11 18:18:40 · answer #8 · answered by tiffanyh2323 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my observations it is people whom both have children from before hooking up that can be both sympathetic and commited to rearing each others children. Most people start out okay when one has kids and the other doesnt but over time this can take a toll on the relationship. It may be best for both of you if you each went your seperate ways and met people whom could identify with each others life styles
2006-11-11 18:23:42 · answer #9 · answered by redseagoddess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would leave him as the kids deserve better it is not their fault they are here and not their fault he is the dad if you cannot support him 100% leave him it will only cause a lot of hassles later on in your life and by then 4 people will hate you.
2006-11-11 19:32:54 · answer #10 · answered by josie c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋