what do you ,when you find out your sister is sleeping with your husband?

Question

I mean there is no concrete proof but I have a gut feeling. like he is always over there to spend the night. even when I am at home. I was just wondering what is the best way to confront them?

Answer 1

get a key to her place, and when he is over there to spend the night, walk in and see for your self. asking a question like this isn't totaly out there, why is he spending all of his time at her house and not with you? I would say nothing and copy her key whenever you have a chance to do so.

good luck and be perpared for what you may find out good or bad.

Answer 2

Whether they are sleeping together or not, even that the question is asked indicates there is some serious problem in your relationship. Why would he want to spend time with her rather than with you? Why be over there rather than at home?

Realize that you can't change your husband and you can't change your sister. The only person you can change is you. Even if you are a completely innocent victim, there's nothing you can do except develop yourself and the way you relate to others (within the limits of the law and ethics).

As far as confronting them, you need to decide what outcome your want. Think about how they might react to what you plan to say, and plan your response to the expected reply. Thinking through this might help you decide how to start the conversation, and it might give you a few ideas about how to continue it.

If they don't respond the way you expect, you can always say, "wow, I didn't expect you to say that!" That would be an open and honest thing to say, and there's nothing wrong with being open and honest.

I wouldn't recommend confronting the two of them together. Interview each person separately. What the first person tells you will help you decide how to talk with the second person. It seems to me that it would be better for you to talk with your husband first.

Maybe you need to directly ask him why he prefers to spend the night at her house rather than with you. Don't rush into this. Wait until he is in a good mood and there is time to talk. Maybe you could ask over a meal at a restaurant. If you do, choose a good location for personal conversations, and wait until the entree is served and you both have full glasses so that you won't be interrupted too often.

Answer 3

He's always over there spending the night? First red flag!

Look for the signs. Inappropriate touching. Facial signals. Once you've definite signals, prearrange a private investigator to look for absolute proof of infidelity.

If it's innocent, then you've not made yourself the fool and embarrassed yourself in front of your husband or sister.

If he's guilty, then you have your proof and you can chose to confront him (if you really want your relationship to continue with him) or start divorce proceedings.

It's really important that you take control, after all, it shouldn't be you that's made the guilty party here. Too many times the victim is made to feel they are the guilty party.

Answer 4

What?! He actually goes over there & spends the night. Why would you allow that?! Hire a spy, sneak a movie camera in your sisters bedroom, show up over there late at night, &/or say if you're staying the night, than so am I - then observe their behavior. If you need to confront them, do it one on one, tell your sis that your hus told you there's something going on, but wasn't specific & see if you can get her to come clean, then do the same w/ your hus, but do it at a time when they won't be able to get ahold of the other right away & do it back to back to lessen the chance of them talking to eachother about it before you get the chance to confront both of them.

Answer 5

If he's spending the night even when you're not there then, something has to be going on. I would say the best way to confront them would be to first sit down with your sister and find out her feelings towrad him and ask why she allows him to stay. That's disrespectful if you ask me. Depending on what type of person you are you could either overcome the issue or DIVORCE HIS A** ( as I would).

Answer 6

Gee if your gut is telling you something then Im sorry to say its probably right! what a HORRIBLE thing to do to you! my goodness! I dont even know you but NO ONE! should do this sort of thing to any human being much let alone the man you marry and your own sister! I thought it was bad enuf having a so called good friend sleep with your man! for quite sum time without once considering my feelings for hiding it for so long and not just coming out with it if they both preffered each other but to carry it on is VERY COLD! CALLUS! & EXTREMELY UNCARING! so if you think your own sister is doing this! I would be quietly trying to catch them out without being obious or accussation in any way! so they know your not on to them and they will make mistakes and be caught out! other than that set a discrete Private Investigator on their ***! From experience if you confont them about it they will just lie! but then you also have to take into consideration how many incconsistansies are there with what he tells you and yes WHAT IS HIS REASONING FOR GOING OVER AND SPENDING THE NIGHT AT HER PLACE WHILE YOUR AT HOME? All I can say is if they are I would wipe them both! you dont need people like that in your life! ESPECIALLY! your sister, family or not that alone should have made her know better! in my oppinion if she did it once she would have no problems doing it again, and thats just not what a family member should be, blood is SUPPOSED! to be thicker than water! but she obviously doesnt think so, so id give her the same respect she deserves in return NONE! cos id have nothing to do with her ever again if my sister did that to me. IM REALLY SORRY TO HEAR BOUT THIS MY THOUGHTS ARE WITH YOU! and I hope it gets sorted as soon as possible for your own peace of mind and just remember there is always someone out there for you if these 2 NASTY SO CALLED FAMILY MEMBERS! r doing this CRUEL & UNKIND THING!

Answer 7

I know everyone is going to say "hire a spy", but in reality, it's not that easy to find a "spy" that'll work these kinds of cases... even in small towns, a private investigator usually ends up doing cases like insurance fraud.

Anyhoot, this is what I'd do:

When he goes over there one night, just act like you're about to go to bed... then, after he leaves, wait like 5 minutes for the car to leave and be far enough down the street. Then, YOU follow him. If you have your own car, then park a block or two down the road so they don't recognize your car and walk up to the house and start peaking around. It's definately not right for your husband to be going over there. It sounds to me like something is up. Heck, even when I lived in the same town as my sis, I never spent the night with her husband!

Answer 8

when u think hes over there go to ur sisters house and just say hey i just wana chat about stuff like sisters do and if u catch him there there u got him. or u could say that ur having problems with him and ask her if u can spend a couple of nights at her house and just look around and stuff tis is affensive to me cause im a guy but we always leave stuff behind like socks and stuff im lazy and i admit that so many other guys would do the same i hope u find out good luck!!!

Answer 9

sit down in a non confronting tone just come straight out and say ( your over her place a lot what is the attraction Its not normal for you to be spending all these late nights with your sister in law , I'm beginning to suspect that you two are messing about behind my back) if he gets his back up and starts getting hot under the collar then go to your sister and say (we sat down talked it out and I think he is cheating on me with some one really close ) watch her reaction. The only other thing I can suggest is you storm in there when she is on her own and say well what have you got to say for your self, You and your husband have talked what have she got to tell you . a stone cold bluff.

Answer 10

Get yourself a Private Investigator. And have concrete proof so they can't deny it. Confront them with the proof.