I'm an adult. A girl I know for many years (not saying how bc I want this to stay annoyomous) told me she had sex with her boyfriend yesterday. I'm worried she isn't using proper protection and I don't feel comfortable knowing this information. I'm wondering if I should let her mom know? Awhile back her mom told me to tell anything that she might be up to that I feel is important for her to know. I think this is pretty important and it scares me that she doesn't think its a big deal. I don't want the girl to hate me but I think her mom needs to get her some protection. Condoms aren't the best...
2006-11-11 17:58:26 · 27 answers · asked by Laura M 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
yeah.. i definitely agree.. u should tell her mother because her mother will always be there to help her..and she won't be able to if she isn't even aware of it u know...your friend might get angry that u told her mother but then again.. by telling her mom.. they can at least talk about protection and that sort of stuff...and your friend most likely will still be having sex but at least will use the proper protection... but seriously the mom needs to know... it be horrible if your friend would end up getting pregnant and the mom would find out that you were aware of what she was doing... at least if the mom is aware she can take the situation into her own hands and talk to her daughter about whats best for your friend...
2006-11-11 19:01:50 · answer #1 · answered by smiley 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'm not an adult. I am 16. And as much as it may seem that we are inferior to adults, we do think about things. Now I am also a virgin, so take that into consideration if you want.
I would suggest NOT to tell her mom, because it takes a lot of trust for a 16 yr old to talk to adults about things like that, exspecially if they wouldn't tell their parents. That means that they trust your reaction more then their own parents, and that they value your opinion more. You can get birth control with her, if she doesn't trust her own, then maybe you can step up and be the supportive parent for her.
If you are going to tell her mom anyway, prepare for being the "bad guy" in that relationship. You probably would severe the trust between you for a very long time, if not forever. You can give the girl tough love without telling her mom and even if you do tell her mom, she'd probably just continue doing it anyway, except she wouldn't tell anyone and someday if she becomes pregnant and is thinking about getting an abortion, wouldn't you rather she come to you then just go through with it?
You can get protection for her, look into the Planned Parenthood sites, and also instead of telling her mom personally, try to convince her to tell her own mom. Let her do it.
Sincerely,
-Ezekiel
2006-11-11 20:04:54 · answer #2 · answered by Ezekiel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the girl is 16 then she is over the age of consent and does not need to tell anybody about her sex life.
I think she told you because she does want help and advice, but sometimes it feels more comfortable speaking to somebody who is NOT a parent.
You could do this girls parents a favor by talking about protection against STD's and pregnancy, I think she would listen to you, but don't tell her Mum because you are breaking a bond of trust and then this young girl might feel she has no one left to turn to.
2006-11-11 19:31:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell her mom because that happen to me when I was 14. I told my god sister that I was having sex with my boyfriend and she told my mother. I mean yeah I hated her but I got over it and forgaveher because she helped me. But all people might not be like that so you'll have to do what's best for her and you she may hate you or she might not but r u gonna sit around thinking instead of speaking up? So tell her mom then you'll go from there. Even if she does hate you try reasoning with her and tell her why you had to what you did.
2006-11-11 18:17:00 · answer #4 · answered by Divine Diva of 06 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The FIRST step you should take is to find out if this girl is on birth control. Then you need to try to talk her into telling her mom herself. You telling her should be the last resort. This girl came to you because she felt she could talk to you, don't change that if you don't have to. If it's just a question of birth control, you could drop her off at the local health dept. to get birth control - it's free for underage kids, if there parents don't know, or claim not to. If it's a question of morality, and you feel an obligation to tell her mom, then you have to if the girl won't.
2006-11-11 18:11:19 · answer #5 · answered by Amanda D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow the best thing for u to do is to try to convince her to tell her mom.. if u know her mom and u know her mom isnt gonna bugg out on her.. tell her that since shes having sex, its very important she goes to the gyno now.. and tell her that only her mom can take her..
i was the first to find out my sister was doing it... she was 15.. i kept it a secret.. but i gave her condoms... and i took her to planned parenthood to get checked and all that good stuff... but i also told her all the time, that she needs to talk to her mom about it.. and in about a month or so she was ready to tell her mom.. her mom didnt bugg out like i knew she wouldnt.. but its not ur choice.. u can seriously cause a teen and mother to get into a serious fight, bc why is this ladys daughter trusting u more.. i mean hello thats a stab in a mothers heart.. just tell her that u are worried about her health and that she should talk to her mom... and maybe u can role play with her.. so she can get comfortable doing it
2006-11-11 20:52:41 · answer #6 · answered by red.one9luv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I would tell her. But ask her mom to keep the person who told her or how she found out anonymous. Or ask her to make up a story that she might have heard about her daughter. Eventually if the mom confronts her daughter, she will give into her mom and tell her the truth. Then she will be able to take the proper precautions to prevent her daughter from becoming pregnant or contracting an STD.
2006-11-11 18:06:13 · answer #7 · answered by Miss Vira 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is not your place to tell her mother. When she feels the need she will go to her mom the way she wants to. Maybe approach the girl about it and tell her she has a week to tell her mom before you do. But you need to give her a chance to break the news to her mom the way she feels fit.
2006-11-11 18:17:19 · answer #8 · answered by jess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No that's counter productive. If she has the trust in you to divulge that kind of intimate information then perhaps you should talk directly to her & suggest she talk to her mother about the Pill. Teenagers do not take kindly to someone who breaks a trust. It's nice to be protective as long as it isn't destructive. Step up & talk to the young lady as a friend & if she doesn't respond favorably then go to Mom.
2006-11-11 18:10:06 · answer #9 · answered by Diablo 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Do not break this young womans confidence in you, if you are worried she may not be using protection you talk with her about it, it seems she feels she can talk with you and not her mom. It is not unusual for young women this age to be sexually active at all, just ask her if she's using protection and if she knows where to go to get it.
2006-11-12 00:49:47 · answer #10 · answered by badmikey4 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋