I just so happen to be browsing around on the offender search on mi.gov and I put in an ex's name. I didnt think I was gonna see his name up there, but there it was. In jail for armed robbery. We didnt leave off on good terms but I know he doesn't have anyone else that cares enough to write him. I know I wouldn't scold him or ask "what were you thinking" or saying "I told you so" because that is the last thing anyone in jail needs to hear. Should I write him and give him encouraging words, like keep ya head up or dont drop the soap (j/k)?? but still.. If you were in jail, would you want to hear from your ex? And what encouraging words can I say?
2006-11-11 17:49:48 · 21 answers · asked by A.J. 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Let me say that I am happily married to a man I've been with for 5+ years and have 2 beautiful little girls. I would not write for a relationship, I would write exactly what I said - encouraging words.. dont you people read? Please.. serious answers only
2006-11-11 18:58:07 · update #1
I would write to my ex if he was in jail.why not write?After all you guys can still be friends can't you? If I was in jail i would love to hear from my ex it would probably bring happy memories.Well if you do write to him tell him he has someone he can depend on as a friend,just try to write things that might make him cheer up just a bit. :)~(:
2006-11-11 18:09:43 · answer #1 · answered by Beautiful Fat Gurl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The answer is absolutely NO. There is only - ONLY one reason I would and that is if the ex in jail was my child's father. Just maybe then I would write.
You got rid of this loser once. Don't get involved again. Being in a relationship with a guy does not mean to feel sorry for them or pity them.
No one has scolded him before and the Judge did that now. Let it be. Think about this armed robbery as in he had a gun and was ready to take hostages and kill for this money.
Think on this what if you had moved on and got involved with a man who had kids. One day man was in the bank with his kids and your ex was robbing the bank brandishing a gun and killed one of the kids.
Please girl get some sense and grow up. It appears you were getting control of your life and now are ready to mess it up again by letting that loser back into your life.
Also why the hell are you searching the offender's website!!!
Your choice to grow up and make your life better or go back to the sewer and live with him.
I have had experience with this my ex was an offender as well. Then I saw the light and how crappy he was to his son and how badly he treated me and I cut him loose. And now my son and I have better lives.
2006-11-11 18:13:59 · answer #2 · answered by Sharon M 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hmm... tricky. I'd say unless you don't want to bring up the past with possibly bad memories then don't write him because theres no need to put that stress on yourself. Although I know if I was in jail and got a letter encouraging me that things will come to terms I'd feel a little better about things.
Or you could always send him a box with soap on a rope. That could be fun.
2006-11-11 17:53:34 · answer #3 · answered by dancerinthedark 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well how would you correspond with this man. I cant see you being able to get a return letter at your house that you share with your husband. I know that encouragement is needed during this time but you are not the one that he needs it from. You have been married for 5 yrs and had no contact with your ex I think it needs to stay this way. What happens if he ask you to come and see him. This isnt fair to your husband. Yes your ex made a mistake and he does need someone they have pen pals that enjoy writing inmates let him find someone that can be there for him.
2016-05-22 06:36:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alot of people may be inclined to tell you no.. but I would say that writing him won't hurt a thing... you're right... don't harp on him about why he's there... he knows it was a mistake... and he's paying for it...
Just because someone may have broken the law (or even have been accused of it... Unless it is crimes against children or something like that... I have an EXTREME dislike to that... ) doesn't make them inheritly (SP?) evil... people make mistakes... It may make his day to have you write him... to know that someone on the "outside" cares... I know that people in jail/prison get an acute sense of lonliness... especially if they don't feel there is anyone else in the world that gives a *dang* about them... if you think he may be feeling this way... for him to continue feeling like no one cares... will only be detramental to his rehabilitation...
Never hurts to brighten someone elses day every now and again... :D
2006-11-11 17:57:23 · answer #5 · answered by grimmy19812000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you write him before you found out he is in jail? Do you honestly think that jail is the only thing this person has been through? Did you write him then? Did you even want to talk to him? Do you want to prove something to him?
Really.... maybe you should send him some pictures of you in a topless swimming suit, and then, when he gets out, he can move in with you, because he won't have any money, and you want to save him from robbing another place, don't you?
Honestly, give yourself some time, like a week, to think about what would be your motive to do this. Then, go with what your heart tells you.
2006-11-11 18:01:56 · answer #6 · answered by electricfemale 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It would be better for both if you didn't write to him, especially since he has criminal tendencies. I mean, he might misinterpret why you wrote to him and believe there is still hope for him to continue your relationship, especially when he gets out. If he's not that type of a guy and would only construe your act to be of innocent friendship, then maybe you should. But don't encourage him or lead him to think what he did was not wrong. I hope this answers your question. Good luck....
2006-11-11 17:55:24 · answer #7 · answered by attyjbcf 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes all a person needs is a close friend and someone they can talk to to turn their life around. I would drop a line of encouragement to let him know he's not alone.
2006-11-11 17:53:02 · answer #8 · answered by Nancy D 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My ex is also on Mi.gov .... even though hes my ex I still write him and I also go see him. (he is also in there for armed robbery). He was my best friend... up until he started doing coke. Who knows though... if I were you I would write him.
2006-11-12 04:58:24 · answer #9 · answered by ? 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What the hell do you care that he's in jail? It ended on bad terms. Or are you so hung up on him that this is a way to be close to him? Yeah, armed robbery, what a catch!
2006-11-11 17:59:59 · answer #10 · answered by DJ 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋