what can I do to get him up and going again? We have lost that loving feeling. I know he is not cheating, I didn't gain any weight, what is the problem??? Are all husbands like this?
2006-11-11 17:10:33 · 27 answers · asked by serendipity_siren 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like he's in a routine right now that isn't very exciting for you. What happened to the things you used to do? Maybe you need to dredge up a common interest that will involve the two of you together again. I think the men who don't end up on the couch usually have some other routine built in that prevents this. Of course he needs some time to himself and I guess you can't be too judgemental about what it is he chooses to do. I have to admit, the couch act can be a real turnoff though. It seems that your complaint involves a lack of activity that builds/maintains intimacy (not necessarily sex) so I think the focus here is on the quality of the time spent together. It may be that he feels the same way. Ask him what he wants to do. Change the scenery and get out of the house. If you really want to talk, try doing it in the car while on a drive. That way it is less confrontational and not so much of an interruption to the activity.
2006-11-12 05:01:41 · answer #1 · answered by Cybil 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A few weeks ago I thought we were having a problem and that he did not want me anymore, well I have been sick for 2 yrs but worse the last 2 months, I talked to him and he said he did not want to hurt me,my reply is if I can take pain meds to cook and clean his house I could surely take them for some loving. So everything is back to normal. But I am not selfish because my husband works 2 jobs to cover the loss of me not having one, that right there should have told me he cared. We snuggle & watch tv or get on the computer together. Its about his happiness too.
2006-11-12 01:32:02 · answer #2 · answered by livlafluv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of times when i just want to lay around the house and don't say much,there either was something bad that happened at work or I felt like that I had been disrespected in some way by my wife. You might want to talk to him about it. You might find that he is just as frustrated with the situation as you are. He very well could be depressed too, sometimes when someone is struggling with it they can't get going even if they wanted to.
2006-11-12 01:40:14 · answer #3 · answered by hawkeye316 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your guy has hit the comfort zone now you are his he feels no need to impress you after all its not like your going top leave him or anything over a bit of sloth like behavior . .
he probably thinks that as long as you are happy ,so is he so if you don't kick start his stalled passion he will remain there on the couch lazing the days away . Don't ask him to dress up ask him to dress sexy .You will need to entice him into shifting his caboose you should'nt argue because I can assure you that will have the opposite affect.
2006-11-12 02:40:26 · answer #4 · answered by slick 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he works for a living, and you don't have to support him go easy on him. You mention that you didn't gain any weight. Did he? If so, get a TV tray and place a lean cuisine frozen dinner on it. Then, you lay down and get the remote. He will have to get up long enough to turn on the microwave oven. There's your chance to steal his warm, cozy spot on the couch and the clicker for the TV.
2006-11-12 02:34:40 · answer #5 · answered by raven dismukes 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is he going through alot of stress? Maybe work isn't going so well? I know when my hubby gets like that it's because he is feeling overwhelmed. My advice is to talk to him. And don't talk about your feelings. Ask about his. Sit down on the couch with him, wait untill a commercial,(so you don't piss him off) and tell him that you NEED to talk and it's important. Tell him you've noticed that he hasn't been himself lately, and you're worried. Then ask him how things are going with him. Never just assume that your hubby is lazy or bored with you. Assumptions are what causes alot of divorce.
2006-11-12 01:27:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no , not all husbands are like this. mine is a work acholic and i see him around 7 or 8 p.m. but when he does become the couch potatoe , i just lay the quilt trip on him an ask him when i do fit into his life to let me know and i will turn off the computer !
2006-11-12 01:15:49 · answer #7 · answered by ~just_jd~ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You married a slug. That's all I can figure as I've been married for 15 years and even though things are far from perfect, I'm still into her as much or more as/than I ever was.
2006-11-12 01:15:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
"Are all husbands like this?"
More than the rest of us guys would like to admit, unfortunately.
But, no, not all are like this. Didn't you see any of this before you were married? Weren't there any signs?
You've got a lemon. Try and make lemonade. Or, join him on the couch and learn to enjoy what he does.
2006-11-12 01:14:14 · answer #9 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You just got yourself a lazy husband. Not all husbands are like that. Train him to be more active with the reward system.
2006-11-12 10:56:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋