I am happily married. My wife still does not know that I have an affair. The girl that I have an affair with is also married and does not want to end this affair. I enjoyed having this affair but I want to end this affair, I do not want my wife to know and also the husband's girl...
What should I do?
2006-11-11 16:57:35 · 24 answers · asked by Goombul! 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know I am wrong and I do not get offended for the people who are mad at me. I need to know how I have to end this...
2006-11-11 17:09:54 · update #1
End it, man. Just end it.
Whats done is done... move on. Tell her its over, and unless she wants the whole thing to blow up and everyone will know.. JUST END IT.
I am not condoning you... I think affairs are wrong. But like I said, whats done is done... learn from it, and have a renewed interest in your marriage.
Treat your wife well. Especially now, she deserves it.
2006-11-11 17:06:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
You don't have to be a bad person to have an affair. I am not here to judge you, that is for God. Be as honest as you can with her. Tell her that you want to be with your wife. She knew you were married to begin with and now it is time for you to go home. Affairs only hurt people. I found that out myself. All you can do is learn from this and try to lead a better life. Treat your wife like gold and try to fall in love again.
2006-11-12 01:10:09 · answer #2 · answered by sorry but in love 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down and have a difficult conversation with the other woman. You need to state clearly and calmly that "It was just one of those things," and that it's over now. Be prepared for some hysterics and emotional outbursts on her part, as that may happen. Tell her you will always value her, and you enjoyed your time together, but it's over now.
Remind her that if she causes trouble by threatening to tell your wife, that her marriage is also in jeopardy if her husband becomes aware.
Be gentle but very firm.
And then, don't see her, block her email, don't talk with her on the phone. Cut off all communication, and DON'T RESUME ANY.
Good luck!
2006-11-12 04:09:08 · answer #3 · answered by ragged 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, regardless of what you want, all hell is about to break loose dude.
If you dont tell your wife, you'd be living a lie. Everytime you said "I love you...." you'd be lying to her because you dont. You witheld vital information from her.
As far as her and her husband.....thats not your concern anymore.
Your a grown man....you know what to do. Dont look for others answers because all you'll do is try to find a loop hole in the process of getting this out in the open.
You had your fun, but now you have to be that dude that said "I do" and tell your wife dude.
BELIEVE ME, IF YOU DONT, WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND.
Karma.....that aint nothin to joke with. If someone or something doesnt get to you, guilt will, so its best if you fess up asap.
My suggestion is to do it somewhere where you have privacy, but not at home. Go get a room for the weekend, and tell her that you need to talk.
Seek out a marriage counselor beforehand too because that will show that you want to work things out and that you want to be mature about things.
Just be prepaired to be unhappy for a while if you two decide to stay together.
gudluck dude, and stay positive.....
2006-11-12 01:11:28 · answer #4 · answered by diaz276 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Meet somewhere and tell her you have to end it, and that it's over and that you can't see her anymore at all. Delete her number from your cell phone and don't speak with her again. If she freaks out on you and threatens to tell your wife, don't let that stop you. But if she does threaten to tell make sure you sit your wife down and tell her what happened - and that you ended it and you are very sorry. If you want to save the marriage then you will need to be really really patient with your wife until she gets over the betrayal.
2006-11-12 01:15:32 · answer #5 · answered by rrmorris45 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How happily married can you honestly be if you went outside of your marriage for some hanky panky? What you should be saying is that you have a great wife, who doesn't deserve you and you've finally realized that and dont' want to screw it up. I mean that is what this is truly about isn't it?
Cowards cheat honey...real men tell their wives they aren't happy in whatever aspect of their marriage. You were a coward, now be a man...fess up. Tell your wife what you did....yes, come clean. It's far better than her finding out on her own by a phone call from an angry/bitter mistress. Then work through your issues with your wife...that is, if she's still willing to work on it and learn from this.
I've been cheated on and I'm still married to my husband. I was/am the ideal wife. He had no reason to cheat. We have five kids, I take care of myself (still a size 4), give him all the freedom in the world. he has a nice house, it's clean, he drives a nice vehicle and never wants for anything. He made a mistake and we worked on it...Granted it took three years, but we are now back to where we were prior to his affair. Before you even decide to do this, you seriously need to get honest with yourself and ask yourself why the affair happened to begin with. Because she's going to want to know and you'd better have an answer. Happily married men DO NOT CHEAT....it's just the way it is. Something in your mind told you it was okay. Whether you were just being a pig, it was lack of sex in your marriage, lack of desire with your wife, the thrill of it, etc. There was a reason and you need to own that before you make any sort of decisions here.
I know I'm coming off as harsh, but I'm looking at this from your wife's point of view. Right now you are thinking "what she don't know, won't hurt her". What you need to be thinking is "What if she finds out?" There is a huge difference between getting caught and coming clean from a guilty conscience honey. It's called counseling or divorce. If you really love your wife, you have to tell her or you risk the scorned lover telling her to get back at you for ending it. If you choose not to tell her and she finds out, then you risk losing it all because your wife won't ever be able to trust you....not only did you cheat, but you lied to cover it up. Making a mistake is one thing, but lying is sort of a double whammy to a women. We are willing to accept mistakes, especially when a man owns up to them....that's forgiveable, and we are willing to work through that. But lie about it? And you are entering into a whole different dimension. There is a reason they say "Hell has no fury like a woman scorned".
I know I'm just one person, and you are probably thinking I'm saying this because I'm bitter from being cheated on. But I'm not. I am about the most outgoing, honest, well rounded person you will ever meet. I'm super mom, the sh!t for a wife, I bartended in a strip club to put my butt through school and now I see firsthand what cheating does to a relationship from both sides. I'm a social worker and I can speak from experience, not just mine, but others, that when the person who has cheated, comes clean (rather than being caught), 95% of the time, they work through it and become stronger couples. As for the ones who get caught....it gets bitter, ugly and it'll work for awhile, but it's never the same, nobody's happy and it usually ends rather ugly in a few years.
YOu made a mistake, it's time to do the right thing. I think your wife deserves that much...even if it means you are going to embark on some rough waters for awhile.
2006-11-12 01:23:46 · answer #6 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I hope you realize it was a big azzed wrong thing to do to your wife.
IF this other cheater can't take stop for an answer, then be prepared for her to tell your wife. You'd be better off telling her first, don't you think?
I can't feel sorry for cheaters at all. You laid in the bed, now sleep in it.
2006-11-12 01:06:47 · answer #7 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what is wrong w/ you tell the homewrecker to get on w/ her life then u need 2 be honest w/ ur wife who knows what will happen she will be pissed but in the end if she stays u MIGHT get a little respect for telling her the truth w/o her finding out on her own
2006-11-12 01:06:05 · answer #8 · answered by thehendersons_3 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Too bad you didn't think about this sooner. You could have saved the innocent spouses a lot of pain and heartache. You have destroyed two families by your selfish actions. Just tell your cheap hoe that you are done with her. If she causes trouble you will have to face it and try to convince your wife to understand. If I were your wife I would kick your behind out the door and never let you come back! Cheaters like you sicken me!!
2006-11-12 01:02:10 · answer #9 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
tell the truth. tell her you are a liar and are having an affair. what do you want to hear in this forum. That we think you are a great person to want to end the affair???
2006-11-12 01:00:42 · answer #10 · answered by -------- 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋