I don't want to marry another loser, like I did with my ex, and I don't know if my bfr. worth it. he's 19 yrs.my senior, has 3 children from previous marriage, sold his house, and his wife took half whatever he had. But he still has his business and staff. I have to stay with him for another yr and half, so would it be better for me to spend this time as a married woman and see how it goes or I shouldn't bother???
2006-11-11 16:19:20 · 27 answers · asked by Mistyfog 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Look at the situation businesswise. i have to attend school and don't want to waste time.
2006-11-11 16:35:05 · update #1
Look at the situation businesswise. i have to attend school and don't want to waste time.
2006-11-11 16:37:53 · update #2
No you should not, you are playing head games! Learn to stand on your own two feet!
2006-11-11 16:28:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless you want to go through another divorce, I'm not quite sure I'd recommend marrying this man. Honey, think about this...your first sentance was "I don't want to marry another loser". Is this man a loser? If you are asking if he's worth it now, what makes you think marriage isn't going to have you asking the same questions a year from now. I'm not quite sure why you HAVE to stay with him for another year and a half...but being married isn't going to make the problems you have with him now any less complicated. There are children involved, and if he's 19 years older than you, I can imagine these children are in your age range. That alone is going to complicate things beyond belief.
I almost hate to say this, but you need to do some serious soul searching here honey. You need to ask yourself what the heck is wrong with you that you keep choosing these types of men. Why aren't you worth going after what makes you happy? Why don't you deserve the one who completes your life? Don't marry out of necessity...marry out of love. Marry because this is the man you see yourself with forty years down the road sitting on a front porch swing laughing about the good times in the past. Marry because you've met the man that you would and want to do anything and everything for, marry because this person is the person you can't imagine life without. BUT dont', please don't marry Mr. Right now because he's there and the opportunity presents itself. Life is short, yesterday is in the past and can't be changed, but tomorrow is a whole new beginning. You have it in you....we all do...to seek out what we want and obtain that special person that completes our life. If this guy isn't it....don't do it hon, you'll regret it. Then it will bitter you and your self esteem is going to go right down the drain. You are a smart, beautiful woman who deserves to be happy...don't you ever forget that!
2006-11-12 00:43:09 · answer #2 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You only marry for love. End of sentence. The guy has a lot of extra baggage, but that doesn't make him a loser. And it sounds like you're in a residential pickle also. Like you really can't afford to be on your own, so you stay with the bf. That's cool, it happens. Morally, it is wrong to be unmarried and doing the stuff married folks do, but morals have gone down the crapper anyway. Personally, I think of marriage like buying a car. You test drive it before you commit to it.
If ya'lls relationship gets strained, there's no papers to sign (oh, and don't sign jointly on anything either). Just pack your stuff and get out. Tell mama your coming home for a short spell, or find a womans home/shelter in the area.
2006-11-12 00:27:52 · answer #3 · answered by unclewill67 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean you will have to stay with him for another 11/2 year? In my culture, you live together only when you are married. But to answer your question, you might as well be married, and divorce later if things don't turn out right. Apart from legal bindings between a married couple, there isn't much differences between a married couple and a "stay-in" couple. They do the exact same things daily. You are already as good as his wife for a bonus of zero legal responsibilities.
2006-11-12 00:35:27 · answer #4 · answered by seeker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont get married to see if it will work out! You only should get married if you are 150% ready and sure that you WANT to get married...If you have some gut feelings that you should not---DON'T DO IT...You could end up in a very messy situaution. You could end up pregnant, and then you woould be stuck with him for the rest of your life.
And what do you mean "I have to stay with him another year"? Are you a part of some prison release program and he is your legal guardian or something?
Look, just slow down. Relax...It doesnt sound like you are ready for a marriage right now.
2006-11-12 00:32:43 · answer #5 · answered by Victory 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't get the question, I have to stay with him for another year and half............ How long have you known him? Are you fearful he is another loser? Nineteen years your senior, that is quiet an age difference, but I have two family members that are married to men, the same age difference and couldn't be happier. His divorce and his three children shouldn't influence your decision. His demeanor, work ethic, dedication to you, your chemistry together etc... should help you to make a prudent decision. You know what they say buyer beware. Good luck.
2006-11-12 00:28:49 · answer #6 · answered by masaouda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm confused...you "have to stay with him for another year and a half"??? What's that about?
Morally speaking, you should be married to a man you live with. However, the very fact that you would ask the opinion of strangers as to whether you should get married, indicates to me that you certainly should not.
Sounds like lots of baggage, and he is old enough to be your father. It also sounds like you are more concerned about what he has to offer financially rather than love, so my vote is....move on.
Peace be with you!
2006-11-12 00:24:20 · answer #7 · answered by Annamaria 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Is this some kind of contract or what? you have to stay with him for another year and a half? slavery or what. this is such a weird question...and you must be such a weird person to even consider marriage if you are planning on leaving in that time. Just leave if it's that bad...geeze weird question....think I'm gonna give the question thumbs down.
2006-11-12 00:27:17 · answer #8 · answered by Kenneth S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you have to spend the next year and a half with him? And I would definitely say don't marry him and see how it goes. Wait until you want to marry him, if that time comes, and then marry him.
2006-11-12 00:21:32 · answer #9 · answered by Erin 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he has any financial assets , income from the business etc. then you should marry him....If he has nothing, they why marry someone 19yrs your senior ? Find a younger man, who does have something...I am not trying to make women sound mercenary but
you are making a trade...You are giving him YOURSELF...he can
within reason do anything he wants with you and with your help and permission...That is worth something, in return, he is giving you care, support, security and a guarantee for your future after his death...Don't trade something for nothing...
2006-11-12 00:27:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he has alot of baggage...
What are you willling to accept? If you can accept his baggage, child support payments and being a step-mom...move forward and get married. Otherwise, find someone with less drama.
It's tough...but in this case...you still have time to "really" think things thru.
2006-11-12 00:31:15 · answer #11 · answered by Kiki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋