my 1st is turning two and i recieved a shower for her. i really wanted a shower for this second one. not because i need alot of things, because i saved EVERYTHING from my first, but i really wouldve liked people in my family, church or friends to show they cared. see my husband and i are the types that host all parties, cator, and open our home for guests all the time, so i guess i just thought that when it came time to show us some love, somebody wouldve stepped up and offered. i just feel like this baby isnt recieving equal attention as my 1st. so i guess my question is, is there a way we could do our own party, almost like a dinner or open house in honor of the new baby, either before or after she arrives? or is it tacky. i really am not in this for gifts and i dont want poeple to think that, i just wanted a celebration of this new life. and how would i word an invitation so people knew they werent required to bring gifts?
2006-11-11 15:52:25 · 21 answers · asked by Nicole F 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Having a baby shower, thrown by yourself for your second baby would give off the wrong impression. A baby shower is technically for the first baby only. I have 3 boys and another on the way. I would have loved a shower as well. The child will never know unitl older, when you can explain the circumstances. Now you could invite people for a small dinner and celebration, but make sure you put on the invites, that there are to be no gifts, that it is just a way to celebrate the new life. Take pictures. Have/or make a special cake, decorate. But stay away from baby shower themes. Then take lots of pictures and have them sign a guest list. Good luck and congrats on your upcoming bundle of joy!!!
2006-11-11 15:57:03 · answer #1 · answered by Barbara C 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
To me anything given before the baby is born is a shower and if you're hosting it will seem like you're asking for gifts, which is tacky. No one probably offered to give you a shower because like you said you don't really need anything, not because they don't care. After the baby is here they will want want to meet her so hosting a meet our new baby party would be a great way to do this and get good pictures for the baby book. You can send a photo invite that says come meet our new bundle, dinner starts at X:XX and just let people know that its not a shower when they ask. You will have to worry about germs though so you might want to wait for a few weeks.
2006-11-11 16:44:55 · answer #2 · answered by Tulipa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the person who said have a Christening party. You can't give yourself a shower, it's definitely tacky. You almost never have a shower for a second child, especially when they're as close together as yours are. So it's pretty unreasonable for you to expect someone to step up and show some love. They love you, but you just don't get a second shower. Unfortunately, the second baby never gets as much as attention, that's just how it is. My goddaughter had her picture taken once a month for the first year. The only picture I have of her brother is the one they take in the hospital. Even his parents are giving him the short end of the stick. Another unpleasant truth is that most people aren't as excited about your kids as you are, that's just to be expected. They're your kids and you should be really excited, but unfortunately the community at large has other things to worry about. I'm sure people will come to a christening and party. Good luck
2006-11-11 16:05:01 · answer #3 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to have a celebration, by all means have one! A child is to be celebrated no matter if it's the first or the second, or even more!
Have an informal blessing held at your house so that your friends, family and fellow church goers can come and wish you well and celebrate.
If you don't wish for any gifts, state on the invites that you would like people to just bring a plate and their prayers for yours and your baby's safety. This should help to get the message across that you aren't just in it for the gifts.
Congratulations and good luck.
2006-11-12 03:50:47 · answer #4 · answered by Netto 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you are having a child of the same sex and so close in age people probably figured you did not need to have another showe, I'm not saying it's right but ya know. You should have a dinner and let people know it is just a dinner. You send out the invites stating "Join us for a celebration of new life". If you want you can verbally tell the people you are invited that you are not wanting gifts, that way if they want to bring them it is up to them. It is a tough situation because it is not the norm to have a second shower when your kids are that close in age eventhough all you are wanting is to feel the love. I wish you luck!!! Congrats on the new baby!
2006-11-11 16:40:33 · answer #5 · answered by Mommy2Be 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not tacky. Just let people know you want to celebrate the newest family member. Help us welcome our new daughter to the world type thing. It's going to be easier to have the party before she's born but it may be better to get everyone together afterwards. Then you can use it also as a "Come and meet our newborn daughter and join us for dinner." type thing. You should totally have a party, it shouldn't matter if it's your first or fourth. Best of luck and Congrats!
2006-11-11 15:59:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
"my husband and i are the types that host all parties, cator, and open our home for guests all the time, so i guess i just thought that when it came time to show us some love, somebody wouldve stepped up and offered." In otherwords you do all these things in anticipation of getting something back? Then why bother doing them.
2006-11-11 16:04:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would have a party before the baby comes, i don't think its tacky, i think that every baby needs a baby shower. because when it gets older and you show pictures the younger one may fell like she is less important because there was no party for her. i would send out invitations and put down that gifts aren't necessary (if you don't need anything). just have people come over and have fun. good luck
2006-11-11 16:07:16 · answer #8 · answered by ang. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a coming out party for the baby when the time is right. It's always easier for people to want to celebrate a baby when it's a tangible object, and not just a grainy image in an ultrasound printout.
2006-11-11 18:08:22 · answer #9 · answered by Nellie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the etiquette says that a second child does not get a shower. but i like the idea that you want to have people over to show her off.
maybe you can entertain you friends and family at different times and say it is just a dinner??! people are very quick to find situations tacky. even if you don't mea it to be that way. but don't forget you'll probably be exhausted too...you can also just go and visit afterwards. and really....when you do have the baby i am pretty sure that people are going to come and see the new addition...don't you think?
hope this helps. goo luck .
2006-11-11 15:58:55 · answer #10 · answered by roxy3076 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋