How to change my personality?!? From nice guy, to badass.?

Question

I had a friend in middle school, who always made my day. He always made everyone around him feel comfortable, and he laughed at even the dumbest jokes. He made me feel amazing, and he was always unpredictable and very funny;. I remember never being bored with him. I really wish I could make such an impact on people. Has anyone completely changed their personality like this? This new personality would give me so much confidence and would attract girls more. Right now im a nice guy, and I REALLY dont want to stay like this for the rest of my life, I want to go out and meet new people who are really interested in me. My own instinct would be to spend lots of time with this guy and learn from him, but I moved away from him recently. I would give anything to be as happy as him.

Ok, so maybe not a badass. lol. I really just want to have more fun. I really just want to enjoy conversations with ease, which is a major flaw I have right now. I can tell I am really boring compared to my friends and I dont really feel needed in the world. I usually feel like im invisible, and that no one really appreciates me and respects me for who I am. Its not so much that I wanna be a badass jerk lol. But I want to be spontaneous and really just enjoy my life.

Answer 1

I know exactly what you are talking about. I even had a friend like that. This has been my life's issue and I have been working on it for years. I have made great progress though I still want to take it further. And I wish I had started earlier and found the right therapies sooner.

The most powerful tool I found was relatively recent. I got it off a Tony Robbins CD. What he calls an incantation. Applying it to your situation you would start with something like this. "I am a badass! I let my true self show. People love me for it." The key is to shout it out and repeat it over and over for about 20 minutes, and several times a week. Of course the best place to do this is while you are driving in your car. Say it like you believe it, and put as much emotion into it as possible.

Vary and adapt the script as you go, according to what you feel is or is not working. Never include a negative in your script. So for example, don't say something like "I am not afraid what people think."

Here's some other things that worked for me. Take up karate or some other martial art. This allows you to give physical expression to your agressive side, in a safe environment. You also learn control, as opposed to repression.

Try some psychotherapy. Search out some courses that will help you understand yourself better. Find one that encourages you to express your feelings physically, rather than just talk, talk, talk. Most of us have repressed anger, because it felt unsafe to express it when we were young. Find out what you are most angry at, then express it. Or just throw a tantrum and see what comes up. Once you get rid of the anger you find that you are a nice person after all.

Bottom line is you got to take risks. You have to let people close to you know what you really think and feel. Start today and JUST DO IT. It is painful at first, but like everything else, you get better with practice. You mess up more repressing feelings than you do when you try and express them, however awkwardly. People are picking up on the clues you give, however subtle, which show your lack of confidence, etc. Girls are getting mixed signals from you. You seem to have feelings for them but you never declare them. And even if they don't have feelings for you, they will be flattered by your stumbling or nervousness.

Accept that you cannot make everyone happy without being unhappy yourself. Not everyone is going to like you for what you are, but a lot will. And that's plenty.

And it has to come from you. You cannot imitate what another person does. You cannot rehearse set pieces. It has to be truthful and spontaneous. Every step in the dialogue has to be a genuine reaction to the other person. To make an impression you have to lose yourself and focus solely on them. That's what your friend did, and mine.

You know if the badass is in you or not. I used to become the person I wanted to be whenever I was drunk. People were amazed at the transformation. It was a simple matter of losing my inhibitions. That probably is not the same for everybody. But for me it was how I knew who I could be. I just did not know how.

I'm still working on achieving that level of confidence. But I did turn my life around. I am now happily married with two great kids. Life has never been better.

Finally, don't believe women who tell you they prefer nice guys. They might enjoy spending time with nice guys, but they go out with the gorillas. Everyone picks up on self-confidence and seeks it out. A man who knows what he wants, and goes out to get it, comes across as a better provider. And that's also why people like Bush beat people like Kerry.

PS. My friend's life had become a true nightmare, last I heard from him. He could have had any woman he wanted, so he could never be happy settling down with just one. He got old, became increasingly intolerant, did not care for himself properly, became dependent on pain killing drugs, and cut himself off from everyone to be alone in his misery.

Answer 2

Badass Personality

Answer 3

man its not bout seeming more 'badass' but rather masculine. u walk with ur head held high, confident and not getting pushed around by others. Bulking up may help but dats not really necessary. if ur jus not happy with the relationships wid the ladies, jus be a little cheeky an flirt abit more. wen other guys take the mikey outa u try an outsmart them with a comeback. in the end dont change urself for sumthin u arent. it neva works and every1 can see thru a faker.

Answer 4

Happiness won't come from imitating others but in learning to be comfortable with yourself. It's good to try to be more outgoing and get to know people better, but do it your way. A phony personality can be spotted a mile away. Take an interest in others and what they are doing, saying, thinking, but always be yourself. Take confidence in knowing that, when you really get down to it, people like a "nice guy".

Answer 5

You need to be yourself or you will be very unhappy and so will everyone who meets you. Strive to be a good person, live your life from the highest morals and values. Be a person of integrity, no matter what. Don't let people drag you down who envy you or are lesser people.

Girls who are worth anything like good guys, the 'bad asses' are loosers in the end, always.

Answer 6

Umm, to meet the kind of people whom you want to meet, to make the kind of friends you want to have, you need to be yourself: a nice guy. Nice guys are a rare commodity, please take yourself off the already short "Nice" list.

I'm sure this guy you mention isn't always so happy, either. No one is perfect.

To make people become comfortable around you, you must first be comfortable with yourself.

Answer 7

alot of women waste their time on NON nice guys, thinking they can help them. once they realize that does not work, they look for a good nice guy to be happy with and make happy. dont change. just let your good nature shine thru.

Answer 8

you know when they say nice guys finish last, well its not true

you can't change who you are just because in highschool your not mr popular, doesn't mean that when you out trying to find someone that you won't

when your a grown up girls like the nice polite guy

Answer 9

well... lets say this...

you stay the nice guy, more real women will like you and outside in the real world you will get much farther than being the dumbass (i mean badass)... think of your reputation... once it is screwed up, it is hard to recover.

Answer 10

Yes, it's possible