I have told him, and i have loved him for 3 years, and he has loved two girls i think he just recently dumped the last one, we talk on the phone all the time, and has treated me great but he know i love him, and i just wish he gave me a chance
2006-11-11 15:34:37 · 27 answers · asked by a guy 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
If you are gay then you of all people should know it's not a choice you either just are or are not.
2006-11-11 15:41:20 · answer #1 · answered by me 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you truly "love" him as you claim, rather than simply lust after him, then you will accept him as he is, including his current understanding of his sexual orientation. For some, this understanding may change or develop over time. It does not change in a positive manner due to outside pressure, though it can be damaged by outside pressure.
True love accepts the other exactly as they are, and wishes for only what is best for the Beloved.
Lust is self centered desire based on meeting the momentary desires of the one in lust.
Do not confuse the two.
Plato wrote about this. He knew this subject well.
2006-11-11 23:58:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
PS note after posting: I didn't realize that you'd posted that he said he wasn't gay. that is a whole other issue. Sexual orientation is intricately tied to ones conscious or subconscious awareness of certain dynamics, social cultural, personal, etc. and ties into all sorts of things.
Look, one's personal identit(ies) aren't about having to try everything in order to be allowed to define one's own identity, including sexual orientation. That is only up to the person who's own personal identity shaping is concerned.
If one tries to push an identity onto another person, they have gravely tresspassed on the rights of the other person, in a very selfish self serving way. I don't think that can be considered love.. that is of course, my own subjective opinion...
when i first read what you wrote, I thought you were saying you he identified as gay but had never had sex with another man before, but had been with women. hense what i wrote below.
"Gay" isn't jus the act of having sex. sexuality isn't just about sex , and neither is homosexuality (i.e guy on guy penetration etc), it can also be about affection in many different forms, along with intimacy which doesn't even have to be about sex, it can be disclosure and trust. etc. So, sex isn't the test one passes into "gayhood".
If you are worried that he will change his mind... sometimes sex is fluid, meaning it shifts throughout ones lifetime. whether or not one has sex with another (however one defines sex) does not mean a certain sexual orientation will solidify, including whether or not he has had intercourse or any other kind of sex with those girls he dated.
So, i think the main thing to address is perhaps your own insecurity, because people in your life might change, but how you interact with them is your end of it.
My thoughts are with you
-Gabriel
2006-11-11 23:46:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
As painful as it is to say this since I am probably the biggest yaoi fangirl on the planet (meaning I love hot gay guys), if he isn't actually gay or bi or omni or whatever, then you can't TURN him gay. Sadly, it IS a two-way street... heteros can't tell us to be straight, but we can't tell heteros to be gay, either. *sniff**sniff* Boo... (all hot guys must be gay, damnit! At least in my mind... lol) But anyway, if he truly IS straight, then sorry. Tough luck. However, if he IS open-minded or you are convinced that he definitely could be curious at least, then... I still don't know what to do. There's really nothing you can do without jeopardizing your friendship with him. *shrugs* Are you willing to take that risk?
2006-11-11 23:41:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
With all do respect, how would you like it if someone tried to turn you straight? There's plenty of more fish in the sea for you. He knows how you feel so you should leave it at that. You can leave it with a comment like, "if you're ever curious...you know where to find me." He seems like a good friend and you don't want to ruin a friendship.
2006-11-11 23:39:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Leave him alone. Stop trying to force your preference on him. If I were your friend, I would drop you like a tainted dick. And if anyone out there gets offended about what I just said, stop being cry babies and pissing and moaning about what someone said about the queer community.
2006-11-12 11:36:22 · answer #6 · answered by youngpoet_33 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A straight man won't "turn" gay anymore than a gay man will "turn" straight. If you want him to accept and respect your homosexuality, you must accept and respect his heterosexuality. For gays and straights, love can be unrequited.
2006-11-11 23:40:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can't make him go gay. All you can do is tell him, if he doesn't swing that way, then there's nothing you can to do make him change. It's a pretty serious thing that is deeply ingrained in most people. Trying to throw yourself at him will only ruin your friendship.
2006-11-11 23:37:02 · answer #8 · answered by dantheman_028 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
well if he's not gay you can't make him love you. what if some girl would told you she loved you and wanted to be with you? if you're gay youre not just gonna snap and become hetero
2006-11-11 23:38:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
So, there is this girl in love with you- she is dying to ask you out and be you girlfriend. She wants to have sex with you and marry you and so on and so forth. What are your feeling on this?? Should you go for it?? THINK ABOUT IT?? p.s. good luck
2006-11-11 23:38:09 · answer #10 · answered by Jeffrey D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋