How can I get away from her without hurting her?

Question

I have a friend who I only met 18 months ago. When I met her I was with my brother and she was with her boyriend. The four of us started meeting up regularly but neither me nor my brother really got on with her, but we got on well with her boyfriend. Anyway, they split up recently and now I'm the only one she wants to meet as she doesn't want to see her ex. I care about her but she drives me crazy! She's not on my wavelength at all and she spends all the time she's with me talking about how much she hates her ex, who is now one of my good friends. I don't want to hurt her, I know what she's going through, but I really don't want to stay friends with her because I can't communicate with her on an intellectual level at all and she just makes me feel bad about myself. Any advice?

Answer 1

We have all had an experience like this at one time or another. Breaking up with a boyfriend is a piece of cake compared to ending a friendship. When you end a relationship with a boyfriend you have to actually come right out and say that you are not happy with the relationship and you are no longer interested in seeing him, and then you both go your separate ways and never speak again unless you desire to stay friends later on. Unfortunately when you decide to end all relations with a friend, it is uncomfortable to actually come out and say that you are not interested in seeing her anymore. The best way to handle this is to just be unavailable to any of her invitations to get together. Eventually she will get the hint that you are not interested in being her friend. Some people bring us up and give us energy, and others drain our energy and are not healthy for us to be around. Congrats on realizing that she is not a good person for you to be around. You should surround yourself with happy, positive people who make you feel good about yourself. In time this will all work out for the best, for now, take care of yourself and when you say you're busy just be kind but firm.