parents please help?

Question

am 21 yrs old, i still live with my parents. I am 7 weeks pregnant and keeping the baby. I havent told my parents yet, am scared of how they might react. They "old school" and have the traditional gotta b married before having sex way of thinking. Am scared they might kick me out and i have no where to go?? Help what should i do??
ps: am not gonna get married just because am pregnant.

the dad knows but he wants me to have an abortion.he has problems of his own at the moment, so i know i cant rely on him. I have friends i can stay with but theres only a certain amount of time i can do that for. I do work but my job doesnt pay eanough to support me and my baby.
I just hope everything turns out ok!=)
i mean i heard of many cases where single mothers who were broke did it, and hopefully ill be one of them.

Answer 1

Wow you sound like I did many years ago. I will tell you from personal experience that your parents will come around. Right now they are mad and they are disappointed. Mine were too. But once you have that baby they will fall in love with it. They will get over this and love you nonetheless.
If your dad is strict about no sex before marriage, getting married etc then I don't think he is thinking it through with his comment on abortion. Don't do that. He is not the one who will have to live with it for the rest of his life. In fact, once this pregnancy is more "real" to him, he will come around and I can almost certainly guarantee they will help you.
I waited until I was 10 weeks before I told my parents. I was so scared. Now I am the mom and I counsel teens and young adults like you facing unexpected pregnancies. The parents do come around. Even the ultra religious, ultra strict, ultra old school ones. Trust me, just tell your mom, take the initial shock and criticism and wait a month. She will warm up to you.
I would call your local Crisis Pregnancy Centre. There are many. Just google Crisis Pregnancy Centre and your area
They can talk with you and even help you tell your mom.
Good luck..

Answer 2

You are going to have to tell your parents eventually and if you think they will kick you out then set up arrangements with a friend to stay with them until you find your own place. If you have a job you can get an apartment and you might want to look into getting on section 8 which will help you pay for your apartment. Also, there are maternity shelters that will accept in any pregnant women for little or no charge and you can stay there for at least a year after the baby is born. These are usually run by churches so contact local churches and look in the phone book for ideas. You can also stay at a women's shelter until you find your own place. It's not somewhere you'll want to stay, but since you are pregnant they will at least provide you with three meals a day and a roof over your head.

Your parents may not react the way you think that they will. They may just be a little upset with you but will get over the whole deal. Most parents are accepting of the fact that they are going to be grandparents whether it's the way they'd like or not.

Answer 3

It is hard to say Through all their faults, my parents did a fantastic job. They raised 4 bright and successful children. We are all self reliant, have good jobs and treat others with respect and compassion. I do the best I can with my two, however at the age of 7 I really cannot determine what type of men they will be. I can only hope that I have managed to instill in them the same values my parents did which I carry to this day. Right now they are fantastic children. They are bright, kind and helpful. However I still have to make it through the teenage years. This is a question to possibly answer in another 20 years, when I have two young men who call me mom. Then I will be able to tell you more accurate what type of people I raised and then maybe I will have a better answer. However at the moment, I can hope for at least the same, and if possible exceed what my parents did.

Answer 4

You are an adult. As such you must make your own decisions. Since you are deciding to keep the child, you have obviously thought of the future. The next decision you will have to make is whether or not to stay with your parents.
Because you are an adult - your parents possible negative reaction to your news shouldn't surprise you, and you will have to accept it and not hold it against them. They have supported you through your life and you are obviously comfortable enough with them to have stayed living there this long. You will have to accept that you may have to move out.
Kudos to you for not marrying just because you are pregnant, but please learn from this event in your life.
and by the way - traditional values are not "old school" - they are traditional. That means that they are normal - the norm - tradition. ... there is nothing wrong with waiting til marriage before having sex or getting pregnant - it's always better in the long run, as you will soon learn.

Answer 5

I guess you need to do some hard thinking on a few things. Are you financially able to care for a child? Is the father? Do you understand what it takes to raise one..it's more than money, it's time, understanding, patience and a whole lot of love. If you are just planning to continue living at home and expecting your parents to assist, then you should really have that discussion with them sooner than later. Choosing to have a child is not something that goes away when you give birth, it's a lifetime commitment and if you don't feel completely commited to being able to deal with that, then you should consider other options, such as adoption.

Answer 6

That is a very tough thing to deal with when your parents don't approve. You do need to tell them soon. Just try to have a back up plan if they do kick you out. There is a possibility that they won't though and things might be ok. Good luck and i hope everything turns out ok for you.

Answer 7

You are 21 and legally an adult. They can't force you to do anything you don't want to, but it wouldn't hurt to make some preparations ahead of time. Does the baby's father know about this? Have you other relatives or friends that you could stay with temporarily? Best wishes.

Answer 8

i feel for ya honey, but you've got to tell them pretty soon. can you get a plan in place just in case they kick you out. find a friend or relative that you can stay with? do you have a job? can you go on welfare for some help with the cost? is the dad involved?
maybe if you have some kind of plan in place when you talk to them you can at least explain what you're planning on doing. good luck!

Answer 9

If you get kicked out then so what.You are an adult.start doing for yourself now.Tell them and if they kick you out then you need to face responsibilitys anyways.I dont think they will kick you out.Most kick their kids out now a days at the age of 18.I dont blame you for not getting married just because you are pregnant because it takes more than a child to make a marriage work.I could never have sex with someone that I did not love enough to marry.

Answer 10

If you don't have the money to move out how will you support the baby? Tell your parents right away--one big blowup and it's all over. Stop thinking of your feelings and do what's best for the baby--give him up for adoption. Too bad their morals didn't rub off on you.