Teens, please read and answer this!!! I really need help!! Parents, are you all like this?

Question

My parents are super strict!! i hate it, I feel like I'm locked in a box and I cant go anywhere. Its sucks being me I just want to die. Ok well I'm 14 years old and a freshman in high school. I've never been to the mall or the movies or to a party. I'm the oldest out of 6 (yea, my parents are pretty busy) Ok I was invited to a drill team party (all girls) and my parents wouldn't let me go. I was invited to my friends quincernera and they wouldnt let me go.In 5th grade we got to go to Camp Grsy spruce, but my parents wouldnt let me go, I was teh only one that couldn't go. We're not allowed to go outside (unless to check the mail). I spend my weekends babysitting my sisters.I feel like a loser. Please help? What can I do? Parents, do you act like this with your kids? Advice, please I'm going crazy!!! I've started to rebel against them. I've already told them how I feel.
BTW I'm not a TOTAL loser I have friends and stuff.

I dont think its financial. my mom is a nurse and my dad owns a cat lot. I just think they dont want me to be normal and have fun.

lol I meant car lot

Answer 1

whoa!!! I am living with 6 bros and I am 12 .my advice is that you cant do anything till your 18 and move out

Answer 2

This may be difficult, but see if you can get some time alone with your parents, and then ask them at what age would they think it was appropriate for you to:

go to a mall
go to the movies

They may be afraid that you'll get pregnant, or stolen, or maybe it's financial, maybe you are adopted and the birth parents are still in the area, maybe they don't have legal papers to be in this country? (I don't know, just guessing).

If they tell you that you can't leave the house until you're 18, then at least you know the boundaries. Perhaps they would let you go to church as it is safer, or if you went with an aunt or an older cousin?

Instead of asking "why", which puts everyone on the defensive, ask "when"? I will admit that your story, if true, sounds beyond strict.

If it gets worse, there are local crisis hotlines that you can call and talk to a counselor, who might also be able to give you good suggestions - please don't run away or try to rebel - you will pay the price long after you've gotten that reward.

Answer 3

Hello Katie...
Honey, you're not a loser....Never say that about yourself. You're still so young and have plenty of time to change the way your life's been so far..
I'm a mother of 4.. Most are grown, but I do have a 13 year old son at home. He goes to the school dances, and on lots of trips with the mentor program he's hooked up with.
I'm not sure what your parents problem is. Are they heavy duty Christians, or some other religion that doesn't allow social activities? I can't think of any reason other than that, that would make them so strict....You're not in trouble all the time? Probably not, since you never go anywhere.
My only advice.....make the best of what you have and where you're at. And remember you'll be 18 soon enough. Make sure your planning for your future....Hopefully your parents will let you get a job and you could save money for when it's time to leave them......Are you going to go to college? I hope so...If your parents don't have the money, you could go to community college and get help through grants....
Hang in there Katie....Unless you have another older sibling you could go live with, you're kind of stuck where you're at. Like I said, make the best of it. Study hard for your future and make your escape plan for when you're 18....
God Bless you...! ! !

Answer 4

I think they are being too strict. How are you meant to learn about life if they won't let you live one.

Can't you have a chat to them about compromise. Explain to them that you don't want to go to parties every night till midnight, but every now and then, a trip to the mall or the cinema with some close and trusting friends would be nice. Your friends will stop asking you soon and then you will all drift apart.

You must get them to start letting you live a little. It sounds to me that they just want to keep you as an unpaid babysitter.

Keep rebelling until they understand how you feel. Usually, as a mother myself, I wouldn't give somebody advice about rebelling against their parents, but I think they are stuck in the old ages. Something needs to change.

I wish you the best of luck and hope you soon begin to live a little.

Answer 5

I'm a parent and my guess is they love you a lot! I've seen other parents/MY peers get real radical where it comes to being strict. Its a matter of the individual parents style.

You are Only 14 and I would like to think that over the next couple of years your parents will ease up. It is My intent to give my son increasing freedoms as he grows.

Lets face it, in 48 months, you'll be an adult! Is it their intent to keep you locked up past 18? Start asking for More freedom and tell them YOU want to demonstrate your ability to Handle responsibility. If you do well, they should be able to trust you. If you screw around and act the fool, expect to serve your sentence out with NO parole!

Also keep in mind, you are a Girl! There IS a double standard! Your father was probably NOT amused when he heard that old parent joke about the gender of offspring:
"When you have a son, you Only have to worry about One penis. When you have a daughter you have to worry about ALL of them!"

Answer 6

I know what you're going through. When I was a teenager, my friend's parents were just like yours. They wouldn't even let her walk to the school bus. Her mom would drop her off and pick her up even though it was only around the corner and a 3 minute walk. She never went to any of the school dances, including prom. Dating was definitely out of the question and worst of all, they didn't even let her go to college. My friend had a 3.70 GPA and didn't go to college. She didn't have younger siblings like you did because she was the youngest, but she did have a lot of nieces and nephews that her mom would take care of and when she graduated from high school, she wasn't even allowed to get a job because her mom made her babysit with her. You know what they say, misery loves company.

I knew why her parents were strict, they thought they were protecting her from society. For example, teen pregnancy, drugs, etc. If you ask me they went about it the wrong way.

My advise to you is that you do the following: I know you feel like you don't have any other option but to be rebellious, but trust me, you being rebellious will only make things worse. They will only tighten their grip on you. Plus, you have to set a good example for your siblings. You should try to get involved in after school activities. For example, a sport even though you may not be interested in one, cheer leading, or just volunteer somewhere. Any of these activities will get you out of the house and will allow you to spend time with friends too. As soon as you turn 18, you have the option to leave home. It's not so scary, if you go away to college. Go to college away from home with or without your parents' support. You can get student loans, grants or scholarships (grants and scholarships you don't have to pay back) and you can even work part-time. Do what you have to do. I went away to school and never went back home. I wish my friend would have done the same, but she didn't know she could get a loan on her own. Either way, with her grades, she couldn't have gotten a scholarship.

Good luck and hang in there!

Answer 7

Well, I'm 14 too and I dont get pressured as you do. I'm allowed to go places as long as they know where I'm going. I think you should have a real serious talk. Shouldn't rebel and tell them you deserve a chance to live life. I have a younger brother whos 6, I help them babysit but i get paid or I get to go somewhere. You should try to make a deal that would be good for the both of you. Hope this helps you out.

Answer 8

Sweetie,you must try to see this from their point of view.It isnt that they are "Selfish","Don't want you to have any fun",or that they want you to "Have no life".They care about you,and the sooner you realise this the better off you will be. I know,this is probably the last thing you want to hear,but you need to see it from their point.When you grow older and as you mature,you are going to learn to appreciate them a little more.Please,enjoy the time you have with them because that time,each and every moment doesnt come back once it is gone.There will come a time in your life when you will look back,and you would give everything you own to hear you parents voices again,even if it only meant that they were saying you couldnt go somewhere.Then,you must also think about those who dont have parents to tell them they cant go somewhere.Whether they are no longer on this earth,or they dont care enough to tell them they cant go somewhere.Usually,that is the ones who ends up pregnant at such a young age,or living the rest of their life with an std because they were not disciplined and were let run wild.Dont throw your teen years away hun.Listen to your parents,you live under their roof and you must respect their rules.You dont have to agree with them,just see this from their point of view.I am sure they are doing this because they care about you,not to make your life miserable.
The best way to approach this situation is to act mature.Dont rebel,that is immature and foolish.Speak with them,and gradually work your way up.Start out with having a friend over.This will allow them to get to know your friend(s).Once they get to know them and who they are,then you should go to them and ask them if you can go to the mall.Make sure that is where you go,so that they know you are responsible.Make sure your home on time,and that you help when you are needed.Just dont force them to allow you to go out every night of the week,or stay out past your bed time,or go to partys when your told not to.Follow their rules,and allow them to get to know your friends and who you are hanging around with then ask work your way up to that party,dont fight to do it all at once.Have a good night hun,Good Luck.

Answer 9

It sounds pretty strict. Don't rebel against them. Go to them with a level head and tell them that you are a good student and a well behaved kid and you have proven to them that you can be trusted. You are getting older now, and there are things that you would like to do. Tell them you would like them to show you that they trust you because you have earned it by your actions. Don't get mad if they say no, instead realize that you have planted the seed of thought into them and that you were mature when they said no. Wait a few days and discuss it with them again. It may take some time...but rebelling against them will not work....showing them that you are mature enough will work better. Give them time...you are their baby...and they want what is best for you. Good luck to you.

Answer 10

Don't just tell your parents how you feel. Tell them that you are 14 and are old enough to start going places and doing things without them.

I suggest having a talk with your parents. Ask them about averting that you disapprove of. Ask them if they know they are being too strict. You have a right to talk with them, and don't let them cut you off or interrupt you. Make eye contact so they know you are serious, and don't let them change the subject. Ask them why they wont let you go anywhere. Say things like, "Why wont you let me do anything? What have I done to prove myself untrustworthy?"

Also, make sure you are calm and thoughtful. Don't try to argue, or yell, because this will anger them guaranteed. Be considerate and respectful, but don't kiss *** either.

Answer 11

my parents ARE strict also. Am 21 yrs old and they still be on my back. Rebelling is not the answer, trust me i tried that. That made them act even worse. I dunno if your parents are like my parents but they didnt play, if i did something they didnt like i would get a beaten! As I got older it has gotten better, i mean i still sneak out and lie about the things i do, but at least now am aloud to go out n party and do many things i wasnt allowed to do before. They just trying to protect you, i know is hard to understand, but they just mean well. Try talking to them and telling them how you feel. If that doesnt work find a way to go out with out them knowing, but always be carefull and dont do anything you would regret later on.