My wife met a doctor at work....(great, I'm only making $60K) and hasn't looked back once. We even have two children... She was very religious, and didn't give any warning or attempt to communicate any disatisfaction with me. Through out our 14 years of marriage the most we did was take each other for granted. The most I ever did was cuss her out 2-3 times (in 14 yrs) and of course I apologized later. Our family was pleasant, fulfilling, and happy. It's like she won the lottery and left town..... and I am devastated.
2006-11-11 14:05:42 · 11 answers · asked by HonestGuy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Doctor wasn't married. The only warning I had was she envying her rich friends, wanted a BMW convertible, and announced after 14 years that she was part irish! I though it was a midlife crisis.....
2006-11-11 14:13:29 · update #1
we just failed to see it, but it was there just the same. sometimes we have no control over others, and their choices in life hurt us. she went for the money, and security. had little to do with her marriage, or you, it is about her and the other person. u couldn't have done anything to stop her. yes u will be devistated for awhile, and the hurt takes time to diminish. sometimes we feel we deserved atleast a chance to talk it over, a chance to change anything we could, but usually we don't that chance, cause the problem wasn't about us anyway. she did it for the money. moving on is hard, when we loose the one we love to another, seems almost like a bad dream we wish we could wake up from, we feel betrayed and are disolutioned, we question if they ever loved us. but we have to pick ourselves up, and just move on, we will trust again, and love another, although we can't see it now. it is normal to feel hurt, you have lost something very precious to u. she hasn't looked back or called because she knows in her heart she has done u a wrong u didn't deserve. but she isn't going to do anything about it.
2006-11-11 14:27:52 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We had close friends of the family - a wife left her husband suddenly. She met someone over the internet and one day drove into town, said goodbye to her children (who were in high school) and left - it not only devastated her family but all of her friends as well. She never came back, but through the grapevine I've heard that she is divorced again and now alone.
I'm really sorry this happened to you. I would make sure the divorce is final and then try to realize that it was her decision to leave and not work it out. But you willl see in a few weeks or months that life will be better - and you'll find love again.
2006-11-11 14:16:29 · answer #2 · answered by rrmorris45 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife left myself and our 3 daughters will be 2 years on the 21 st of the month. The girls were 17 months 4 and 6 at the time she moved out for her love. He was married and had 3 as well. she has lost everything and is now in an bad way beat and so on most of the time what would be the attraction to that. she has lost us and her family. M
2006-11-11 15:22:38 · answer #3 · answered by valveman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look no matter what you think or feel about the marriage or what she may or may not have communicated to you the fact remains she has gone off with someone else which means one thing - she doesn't want you anymore.
Its tough but after being miserable for a while just try and get over it. How do I know??
My husband left me for another woman and I tried to talk him into staying but now realise how stupid and futile and pathetic that was because the reality was he didn't want me. So its best to save your pride and cut them lose.
I was miserable and wretched but within 6 months I ran into an acquaintance that I had always liked but because I was married didn't even think of in a romantic way and it eventuated that after a year of nice times together we found we were very comptible and I have been happily married to him for 16 yrs now (my first marriage was 20 yrsl).
Now suddenly my ex has divorced the woman he left me for and had a child with (I have no children) and now he has been emailing me wanting to have coffee etc. I felt sorry for him but said no, no, no, because I am not wrecking what I have just to make him feel better.
I am so glad he left me now because I have never been happier than the wonderful person I am now with.
So take heart, good things may yet happen and surely you don't want to hang on to someone who doesn't want you.
2006-11-11 14:23:01 · answer #4 · answered by margo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't say when this happened..I am a woman and it happened to me with a man..There is really no reason this happens...I have talked to a lot of people men and women and they say it has nothing to do with what the other party did or didn't do...It is a time in their life they just do what they want...I could never do that to someone and live with myself...The guilt would eat me up...I know it devastates you...and the hurt lasts a long time..There is a bright side, you will probably meet someone new and you may see your life was not a great as you thought it was...It couldn't have or she would not have left...That is not saying you did anything wrong...no one is perfect....Good luck
2006-11-11 14:16:50 · answer #5 · answered by Brenda Soooooooooooooooooooooooo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get married again. She and maybe other women on here will come up with dozens of reasons why it's okay to cheat and do this, but it never is.
What's funny is that this guy is a doctor and the biggest dumb@ss. He thinks she is going to be faithful and a good wife to him. Would you trust a woman that leaves her family behind for you?
2006-11-11 14:10:04 · answer #6 · answered by Nep 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry to hear this happened to you but sometimes there are some underlying things going on in relationships that we either just skim over or want to deny they are happening. no marriage is perfect and sometimes we get bored with the everyday life of working ,kids ,bills and we feel we are in a pit.keeping the excitement going is hard work to do ,and sometimes the harder we try the more it hurts us. just dont be so hard on yourself,after all none of os know what the plan for our lives are,
2006-11-11 14:23:47 · answer #7 · answered by beachbridal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She might have been unhappy for awhile and been hiding it. Her reasons for being unhappy might not have had anything to do with you directly - like not because of something you did. I know it is hard, but you will get through it and hopefully both of you will end up happier than before. Sometimes things like this are a blessing in disguise.
2006-11-11 14:13:31 · answer #8 · answered by EB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With me it was her "life coach". She doesn't seem to be looking back at all. A few calls and emails. One said she was thinking about me and crying. It does really suck. You put in your time, emotion, your whole being and you get s&*t on. You are not the only one there are more of us out there. Hold your head up and know that at least YOU showed fidelity and respect.
2006-11-11 14:13:04 · answer #9 · answered by Johnboy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This does not happen over nite...& the grass is not always grener on the other side of the fence. & A Dr's spouse are often very lonely...so sue the $##$#
2006-11-11 14:09:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋