a 42 yr old man leaves his wife of 24 yrs for some 21 yr old.......their daughter says to her dad........how can you be with this girl shes young enough to be your daughter (the daughter is 13)....the dad says to her dont you want daddy to be happy......i ask you all this.......is that a statement that should be said to our daughter.why she she be concerned with his happiness...why would he even say this..........am i right to feel this way or what.......give me your views
2006-11-11 13:50:37 · 11 answers · asked by kelly h 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That is the most selfish and narrow-minded thing to say especially to a daughter only 13 yo. I am so sorry. I hope she doesn't grow up thinking she was to be blamed for what happened. I think you should remind her everyday that is wasn't her fault. She will need you more especially now that she's an adolescent. It will also be hard for you and I am sorry you have to go through this. I hope you both will be ok. My thoughts are with you
2006-11-11 13:57:53 · answer #1 · answered by brown_sugah064 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, My husband left his wife of 20 years and then we got together. Together they have to children 22 and 23. My husband is 42 and I am 26, together we have a 3 year old daughter. I have talked to the ex several times, In the beginning it wasn't pretty, but now we all have moved on with our lives and have learned to accept the fact that they are not together and we are. (We have been together for 6 1/2 years now) I guess it depends on how you look at the situation. She wouldn't let go for the first 2 years, but eventually she gave up. I think it doesn't matter about the age, it has to do with the relationship and how each person feels. My husband and I work very hard for all we got, and it is an equal relationship, but theirs was totally different. He told me everything and at the same time, she basically told me the same thing. The marriage wasn't meant to be anymore. If he or you are not happy then its over and time to move on.
2006-11-11 22:09:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should have never said that to his daughter. He is just trying to justify what he is doing. Besides its not his daughter's duty to worry if "Daddy " is happy. Its his job to worry if his child is happy. I think, in situations like this, the children should be told what is going on but not to lay a guilt trip on them and I feel like that is what he tried to do. So yes I think you have every right to feel this way.
2006-11-11 22:06:43 · answer #3 · answered by regina g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i see this as you being pissed at your ex, not what he said to his daughter. you have every right to be angry with him and you need to start the healing process and move on, don't keep this kind of "he did this, and he's doing that" going on. put yourself and your kids as you top priority. seeing him happy is the real problem here and not that he said the word he used, stop with all the kid stuff and act your age (even if he isn't) in time he will see that your happy with your family (you and your kids) and he's not after being dumped by his 21 year old GF. move on and your end up being the better person here.
2006-11-11 22:03:35 · answer #4 · answered by brian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people leave their long-term spouses when they
reach middle-age for a younger person.
I believe it is due to their desire to hold on to their youth,
and by being with a younger person, it makes them feel
young and sexy again. Their marriage might have been
stagnant in various aspects.
Hopefully the man/woman comes to their senses, reunites
with their spouses, and both seek marriage counseling
which can greatly help a faltering marriage. Catholic
churches have Retrouville which my sister and husband
helped run in their Parish, which has helped save many marriages.
I've never dated men much younger than myself, mainly
because I found we had little in common and were from
different generations.
So hopefully this is a passing fling and he will come to
his senses and beg your forgiveness.
Be strong. You will be in my prayers.
2006-11-11 21:59:07 · answer #5 · answered by Ivy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first a 42 yr old man to leave his wife for a 21 yrs old woman. really stupid. i think that u r right to feel this way and that u r really smart to tell ur day that he is wrong...
well hope u'll feel better.
2006-11-11 21:57:00 · answer #6 · answered by *~butterfly~* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a terrible thing for a father to say to his daughter! That implies that he was never happy with her mother. What kind of parent bad mouths his children's mother?
You have every right to be upset.
2006-11-12 00:26:41 · answer #7 · answered by C J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well I would want my dad to be happy yes, This has happened to me, my dad pick a girl only 6 years older than I. Your question was only , should your dad ask you if you want him happy. See nothing wrong with a parent asking a child if they want them to be happy.
2006-11-11 22:00:13 · answer #8 · answered by mouse3801 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is an idiot. he never should have asked his daughter that. i'm not sure what he should have said. maybe just that the 21 year old makes him happy. he sounds like he is not sure about what he is doing and wants her reassurance maybe. that's not good.
2006-11-11 22:03:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
His life, his business. What does age have to do with anything anyhow?? Just explain it to your daughter more honestly.
2006-11-11 22:04:39 · answer #10 · answered by WestCoastin4Life 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋