I am just wondering what the benefits are. I'm 21 and right now marriage seems depressing to me. How do you keep things exciting and don't you ever feel burdened, like you're responsible for keeping that person happy for the rest of their life?
2006-11-11 13:46:59 · 16 answers · asked by redpillowcase 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
don't know............................
married 4 years and getting a divorce....
2006-11-11 13:50:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
First, you are never responsible for keeping anybody happy. I think you need to be happy on your own and be a person that can stand on your own 2 feet. Marriage is not depressing when you both take care of each other. It only sucks when ppl are selfish. Whether married or single, life can be a burden at times, but in marriage you have someone to share those burdens with you. When you love someone and they love you, it is the best thing going. If that someone is not only you lover but your best friend it is even better. You are only 21yrs old, give yourself some time. Trust me, I have been married 18yrs and I still love the guy and still get excited when I walk into a room and see him there. He is the love of my life. Hope you find yours someday.
2006-11-11 22:27:12 · answer #2 · answered by angel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been married 27 years so I think I qualify. The exciting part slows down over the years but is replaced with genuine love. Your spouse should be your best friend, confidant and lover. If you have that combination your never bored and neither is your partner. You must share the same interests to feel that closeness and put your partner before anyone else. Marriage isn't a guarantee for happiness, it's work. Each person is responsible for their own happiness. If you feel burdened your with the wrong person.
2006-11-11 21:55:37 · answer #3 · answered by crkristy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A person in any relationship is responsible for their own happiness. It's not up to the other to do it for them, quite frankly, they can't. It's not like chores.. where if one is sick the other takes over. A relationship is 2 people working together to make things work. If marriage seems depressing... you need to find out why it is depressing to you. Perhaps your parents or close friends have had a hard time in their relationships that's caused you to see it this way. Marriage is fun & it's a great joy.. it's a blessing... a many splendored thing... as long as both are working together. The benefits are more than can be written here.. but a few are... companionship, love, sharing, caring, laughs, tears, joy... the list goes on & on. If I'm not happy, & it has nothing to do with my partner, then that lies on me to figure out why & to fix it. If I need help, I ask for help. A marriage can be as simple or as hard as you make it to be. :)
2006-11-11 21:57:11 · answer #4 · answered by its_me_horses 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 21, and given the way you feel, you probably shouldn't even be thinking about marriage... at least not for the foreseeable future.
You need to go out, have some fun, and in doing that for a few more years you'll come to see that 'fun' stops being fun after awhile. When you're young it seems to feel good, but after awhile you'll be looking for something more substantial. And when you are, then start thinking about marriage.
Marriage takes a lot of maturity, wisdom and charactor. And we develope those things over time. You'll know when you're ready. And when you are, the benefits of marriage will be very real and desireable to you.
2006-11-11 21:59:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Myself my wife and I go out once in awhile to a nightclub it relieves strees witrh our work lives and makes us think of when we were dating. Many ways to experiment in the sac.
The Happiness thing is a mutual aspect she keeps me happy and I keep her happy plus having an additional income when you are with someone you can spoil each other with the extra cash.
Marriage isn't for everybody but if the thought of a hug a gentle kiss and a caring word is som,ething that interests you then marriage may be something you should look at you are young
live your life get a career then Mr.right may just end up finding you. It's known the times when we are not looking for love or a relationship that is when we find the love of our lives that what happened to me anyways I was single for almost 8yrs when I met my wife out with buddies for a beer after work that was almost 10years ago now. Good Luck God Bless.
2006-11-11 21:58:08 · answer #6 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st of all, you are not responsible for the other persons happiness. Just their well- being. You try to make sure that they are doing what it takes for them to be healthy, and to be there emotionally when they need you to be and everything else is a cake walk. Go to every doctors' appt with them no matter how routine, listen to them whine about how their life sucks, screw their brains out and pick up behind yourself, everything else will fall into place. This worked for me, I divorced my wife, I upgraded. But we still are friends because of the way I treated her. She will never be out of my life. And likewise for her. I probably wont get married again. She was my elementary school sweetheart. I got bored, she understands, and she doesn't care about the other woman, but I do.
2006-11-11 21:58:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Married 30 years and the honeymoon isnt over yet. We are both friends and lovers. Not to say we havent had our ups and downs as does any couple, but no matter how big the mountain is we always climb it together. Now that the kids are grown and on their own we are like 2 newlyweds again. As long as people truly love one another there is no effort to try and find ways to make each other happy. When we please each other, we please ourselves. I can't imagine life without him.
2006-11-11 21:53:19 · answer #8 · answered by classy&sassy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have been married for almost 7 years now.. and marriage is hard but worth it..its not easy but anything worth having never is.. look at marriage as a never ending journey.you make your life what it is. its not up to you to make your spouse happy but its up to both of you to fill each others life with all good things..my husband is in the army and we spend lots of time apart but we are really happy with our life together. he is on his 3rd deployment to Iraq and is there for a year at a time and is now deployed but we work really hard at our life and marriage and i would tell you that if your not ready to marry then don't wait and you will know when its right.....
2006-11-11 22:14:53 · answer #9 · answered by skylerrain99 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage to the wrong person is a prison sentence. Do not marry someone unless you are absolutely positively in love with them. I was married to someone I thought I loved, but he was not my true soul mate. It ended in a nasty divorce. Now I am with a man who is my perfect match. We are soul mates and deeply in true love with each other. It is such a wonderful thing to be with the person you know was meant for you.
2006-11-11 21:54:38 · answer #10 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that one is easy you are not any near ready for marriage. only when the responsibilities and all that goes with it are no a burden can you think about this
2006-11-11 21:53:03 · answer #11 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋