After 20 plus years of marraige and 2 great kids, the last 3 being sex-less due to what my wife claimed was because of the early onset of menopuse she had an affair. I had become suspect after she started going to work at 3 a.m. for a job that started at 7:30 a.m. I went to her purse to get her keys and found conticeptives. (I had a visectemy 10 years ago. I asked her about it and she lied. The next week I found a reciept for an ept asked and again was lied to. The following week I put a recorder in her car, she called her F-buddy and said things to him that I haven't heard in years. I confronted her again and she finally admitted she was having an affair. She said she would break it off. I don't know what to do at this point. She says she loves me but is not in Love with me??? She does not want a divorce, but refuses to go to counseling. She is on two different anti depressents. And blames that and the meopause on her indescretions. I just don't know where to go from here?
2006-11-11 13:38:27 · 10 answers · asked by Dyna 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh Hun,
I'm sorry 4 what has happened 2 u. What she did wasn't rite at all. No one should have 2 2nd guess the love that they believe 2 b theirs. U 2 have been 2gather 4 a long time, and now u find this. I'll tell u, if it were me, I would leave if he wasn't willing 2 go 2 counseling. Breaking it off won't settle anything, it's the fact shes not in love with u and she has done This already. That's where u need 2 start at. Can u live and continue 2 love her knowing how she feels and what she did? If u can fight 4 her. If u can't, hun, I think it's time 2 move on with ur life. Again I'm so sorry!
Good luck making ur choice!
2006-11-11 13:59:36 · answer #1 · answered by Sweet Gijit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorces are always hard, but you deserve better. She shouldnt be treating you with so much disrespect. She can keep blaming it on as many things as she wants, but if she wants to sleep with another man, id say bye. Its soooo wrong of her to be putting your family through this just because she is selfish. Even if you still love her, you need to move on. She should also be open to counseling if you wont divorce her. Good luck though. I know its tough. Be strong.
2006-11-11 13:56:08 · answer #2 · answered by htmama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice is to take a few steps back, and think this thing over real well. Can you live with her after this? What about the kids? What's best for them? Will she do it again? Think long and hard, then make up your mind. At best, it will be extremely hard to overcome, but it can be done! Best of luck on your decision!
2006-11-11 13:58:01 · answer #3 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she doesn't want to put forth some real effort to work it out, like go to counseling, then maybe you should move on.
2006-11-11 13:44:31 · answer #4 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she is playing you. Menopause is not a cause to cheat. Since she doesn't want to go to counseling maybe you should go alone. Find your way back to you.
2006-11-11 14:02:23 · answer #5 · answered by D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The bottom line is she had an affair because she wanted to, not because of menopause. So, she has filled your head with lies, lies and more lies.........its your choice where to go from here
2006-11-11 13:46:30 · answer #6 · answered by classy&sassy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She seems unhappy. Not sure what brought that on. You both really need to sit down and have a chat and see if you can get to the bottom of it
2006-11-11 13:45:18 · answer #7 · answered by brown_sugah064 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its just a part of some relationships read some useful tips on relationships and more on this site
2006-11-11 13:41:14 · answer #8 · answered by yesh 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, watch the drugs... my wife is on 2 mental drugs too. (just to sooth her guilt) She hasn't been the same since. I don't even recognize her anymore and there is nothing I can do.
2006-11-11 13:47:19 · answer #9 · answered by HonestGuy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You get counseling to understand all of this!!!
2006-11-11 14:25:37 · answer #10 · answered by mustanglady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋