2006-11-11 12:44:26 · 11 answers · asked by susanfiscus6 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
oh boy just got through this one myself.
Let her live her life, let her know you are there for her, but the more you persue her, the more she's going to pull away and alienate herself from you.
I'd love to tell you the hellish experience I went through, but this isn't the place to do that... I thought I was doing everything right, but infact, what I said in love she turned around and twisted.
Chances are your mother in law is scared to be alone, and this new man is a transitional relationship the may or may not work. It isn't up to her "kids" to tell her what is wrong or appropriate for her. Only she knows that, and even if you disagree, sometimes it's better to not push and voice oppinions that could have a lasting negative effect on everyone.
If you can keep in touch with her, through email or phone, even if it's just to leave a message, she'll in time appreciate that.
If you can set up luncheons or dinners with her, but do not try to deter her or make her see that this new man is wrong for her, it isn't something she wants to hear, and she will take offence.
Give her time and space and if you can , find someone for you to talk to. I went through many emotions of guilt when things went horribly wrong, and it took me along time to realize nothing I could have said or done/ or didn't say or do could have change the situation. like my mother in law, yours is responsible for her actions, right or wrong and all you can do is if and when her relationship turns for the worst, to be there for her. --- with love and understanding.
She's in a dating time zone that is unfamiliar to her, and thinking back to the era of when she married her late husband, things were different... she's confused, but she's an adult nonethe less, and will take great offence if someone younger tries to tell her the ways of the world...
all the best to you and yours...
2006-11-11 13:00:33 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No advice...She found someone now and after time she will get back to keeping intouch.Remember when u met your husband? I bet the last thing on your mind was keeping in contact with others. Why don't u go out of your way for awhile and call her...
2006-11-11 20:48:46 · answer #2 · answered by sweet_thing_kay04 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you so upset by what your mother-n-law is doing? Most would be grateful the in-laws are leaving them alone.
I'm sure she is old enough to handle herself and her feelings, now if she is not capable of taking care of herself or finances, then maybe you should be concerned, otherwise keep your nose out of her business.
And her love life is definitely none of your concern.
2006-11-11 20:51:28 · answer #3 · answered by gemini1962jph2001 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she has a life. Maybe she didnt have the chance before to have so much fun. Let her live her life. Invite her and her new man over for dinner.
2006-11-11 20:47:42 · answer #4 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a good time to change your phone # so she can't find you. Count your blessings - my ex MIL called every day at dinner to talk to my ex. She wanted to know what I was cooking and if he wanted to eat with her instead. We moved 600 miles away and she still called and caused trouble.
2006-11-11 20:49:18 · answer #5 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just try to make a lunch date with her once a week or a phone date type thing, best i could say without her feeling u are keeping her back from life
2006-11-11 20:47:23 · answer #6 · answered by harmonieclark 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her, tell her her actions are disturbing you and your spouse (duh). If she blows you off then bind and gag her, you can keep her in an old refridgerator in your basement (not really).
It may be that she is a little confused and trying to keep her mind off the loss of her husband or maybe she hated her husband and decided she needed to party her *** off.
2006-11-11 20:51:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, let her live her life. As long as it's not a hurtful relationship, and she's happy..........let her be.....she's old enough. (but, you can tell her that you would appreciate her keeping in touch)
2006-11-11 20:48:12 · answer #8 · answered by FireBug 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most married people are glad to get away from the in-laws...Ha, ha...
2006-11-11 20:52:31 · answer #9 · answered by Terry C. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its her life. what do you want her to do crawl in a hole. sounds like she is young. I give her a lot of credit. I dont think i could do that.
2006-11-11 20:47:48 · answer #10 · answered by careermom18 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋