He would want to live in the same house, but just have us both "see other people". He would tell you that he doesn't have anyone in mind right now. But would like that freedom. He travels extensively. The two of you have one child under 10. How would you handle this?
2006-11-11 12:34:20 · 28 answers · asked by Sweet 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He was home for only two days, between business trips, when he asked me. He said it would have to be a mutual agreement. I told him...go ahead if that is what you want...but I will not be participating.( By the way, I have NEVER cheated on him.) He said he wouldn't either , if I wasn't going to. I told him he was immature, and he said "OH NO, NOT AT ALL!"
2006-11-11 12:48:22 · update #1
I would file for divorce so I could find a good man that wants to be with only me. Do you want your child to see you living like that and think it is normal?
2006-11-11 12:36:48 · answer #1 · answered by tigweldkat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He travels extensively and doesn't have anyone in the wings, and he wants the freedom to see other people? Yeah, right! That fool better get ready for divorce because that the only separation he'll be getting. Was that part of the deal he made with you under the vows you took? I would not trust him with a ten foot pole. If you don't let him go now, he will hurt you in the end when he decides that he has an eye for somebody "he just met".
2006-11-11 20:39:34 · answer #2 · answered by vanityspice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be devastated and tell him either we stay together or he gets out . I'm not going to play house under the same roof and not be a couple. I would also want to know what he is thinking to come up with such an idea and how long he has been unhappy. I would want to see if this is something we could resolve before taking this drastic measure. seems like he is and has been unhappy for some time. I have 4 children and have been married for 32 years. there isn't anything we cant talk about and get through. I wish you luck
2006-11-11 20:42:22 · answer #3 · answered by careermom18 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he has met someone, and isn't ready to leave u yet, either he isn't sure of the other woman, and maybe the other woman is also married and working on a separation or divorce, he wants to have an open relationship so he can slide back if by chance things don't work out for him. he is lying when he says he has no one in mind, all this has come to light because he definitly has someone in mind. time to see an attorney, get advice, but theres no way i would allow him to live in the house under those circumstances. he has already told u he isn't in love with u, and wants others. what is this going to do to your self worth. when we marry someone there should be no others in our marriage. he wants to stay right now, because their plans have not been finalized, your marriage as u knew it is over, and please see an attorney, don't get screwed out of what is fair under the circumstances. we have no control over anyone but us, so it's u that needs to change yourself, so u will be able to move past this unfair man, who doesn't deserve u. change is never easy, divorce isn't either, but sounds as if he has made up his mind, and needs to do this,no matter who it hurts. so good luck, and make him move out, show him u have some backbone, and don't accept this arrangement or compromise your intregety to keep a man who is planning on leaving anyway.
2006-11-11 21:09:22 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a selfish proposition from your husband. Truly thoughtless and inconsiderate. How would I feel? I'd feel horrible. I'd feel like the person who made a lifelong committment to me just showed me that the committment no longer has meaning. You don't get to have a marriage and the freedom "to see other people" at the same time. It's not fair to you. How would I handle it? This may not be what you want to hear, but I would tell him that you're not prepared to accept his proposition. You're either married, or you're not. But honestly, at this point I'd think long and hard about whether you'd even want to continue a future with this man. Good luck.
2006-11-11 20:42:41 · answer #5 · answered by Emmamart 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well sounds to me like he should not compromise the 10 yr old like that!!
If he wants out, then he needs to get out!!!
If you have already agreed....have a date at home with you the night he comes home....see if he really means what he says. My advice on that would be to make sure your son is gone for the night and don't compromise your date by doing anything more than watching a movie and maybe sharing a bottle of wine!! Sounds to me like the hubby has a spade in his back pocket!!! Don't leave all of the choices up to him....make your own decisions for your life!!!!That being said make your son the first priority!!!!
2006-11-11 21:14:49 · answer #6 · answered by yidlmama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be furious! It sounds to me like he wants to have his cake and eat it to. He is out traveling and wants to be with other women without having to feel guilty. Do NOT give him that satisfaction.
He can either be married to you or not. He can not be seperated from you and have you stay home and cook and clean the house and raise his children, allowing hin to still look like the good guy without being the good guy.
In this situation you would be completely disrespected. You can't let him do that to you, and you can't let him set that kind of example for your children. Sounds like he has probably cheated on you before and is sick of hiding it and feeling guilty.
You should agree to the seperation and move you butt out of there. You can file for divorce if he doesn't clean up his act when you move out and let him know you're not a doormat.
2006-11-11 20:45:12 · answer #7 · answered by Jax 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's kind of a strange request since he's a traveler. Perhaps he's asking for the okay to get it on while he's away (or maybe he already does) or he's wondering if you would actually agree to such a thing...it's maybe a test. Whatever the heck it is ...it's quite sad.
Me, I wouldnt go for it. Plain and simple. There's a child involved and that's a very improper environment for the kid. Good luck. Peace.
2006-11-11 20:40:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd have his clothes packed for him and show him the door then as soon as he was out, I'd change the locks ASAP. Wal-Mart 20 to 45 bucks and about 10 minutes of time. Let's face it he has no where to go and he just don't want to pay you child support and have to pay rent too. He wants a concubine tell him to go some where else, your child doesn't need to see that you go along with this. What's that teaching them?
2006-11-11 20:49:14 · answer #9 · answered by Countrygirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would say move out until its resolved sounds like he wants the best of both worlds and you are not on the winning end here plus the fact you have a child this could be quiet confusing for the child. i would get an attorney as
someone else said and not put up with his games.
2006-11-11 21:04:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋