I really want a baby! I think?

Question

So my husband and I have a three year old. He does not want another baby. This is nothing new, I know he doesn't want more chidren. Lately, I have really really wanted another one. I am not sure what to do? I mean, I know if I really pushed, my husband would say fine. But, I want him to want it too, and I'm not going to put us in that position. I keep thinking there are so many reasons why a second child would be good for our little boy, I mean - he'll learn how to share, he'll learn how to play, he'll learn responsibility (helping me with the baby), and I think a lot of that is what's making me want another one so bad. That and the fact that I know how important a sibling relationship can be. I just don't know what to do. Should I just respect that my husband says he doesn't want one and leave it alone? Should I talk to him about it and give him my reasoning in an attempt to persuade him? I just don't know how I should be handling this. I only want one if he does too!

He doesn't want another one because he doesn't think he has the patience to deal with two. He says our little boy is enough and he doesn't think he could handle the irritation (not his words exactly, but that's the jist of it). I think that kids can get on your nerves, but if you can learn patience, they can be a wonderful thing. Maybe I am just being too optimistic?

Answer 1

I had to talk my now ex into having a second child when we were married. He never took responsibility for the child. He told the neighbors that it was my kid because he never wanted another kid. My son grew up with a father who really didn't care to be involved in his life. My ex was too busy with our first-born daughter. It took a terrible toll on our family and finally led to the divorce. We were split down the middle - my son and I on one side and the ex and daughter on the other.

Answer 2

You need to find out why your husband is against another child being concieved. It's true that single children would have a diffcult time adjusting to real world when first exposed to larger social settings, school as an example. The inner action with adults and other extended family will give the building blocks, however, a child needs to inner act with a peer base to be well rounded.
Was your husband an 'only child'? I think he was not, but wishes he had been. What type of relationship do you both have? Is having another child going to strain finances? What are the educational plans for the first child and will the same be provided for future sibling(s).

Answer 3

You should not fret so much. If your husband is not ready to have another child right now, then that should be fine. Don't worry your child will be fine, he'll learn all the things you're worried about in school and grow up to be a wholesome good young man with or without siblings. It isn't important how many children you have, what is important is the quality of time and energy you put into the one you do have. Some people don't have any at all and survive. Count your blessings and enjoy your family.

Answer 4

You can't make people want what you want. There is no way he will ever want another baby just because you do, especially if he has already told you no. Don't bring a child into this world for the wrong reasons, a baby deserves to have two parents who are willing and ready and happy about them. Kids can learn responsibility from you being responsible not by helping you be responsible with another sibling. There are tons of places your child can play with other children. Don't be selfish.

Answer 5

I'm one for a two children one of the best friends your child will have is going to be a brother or sister if your Hubby has siblings ask if he had the choice would he have liked to be a only child or did he like having his siblings to grow up with. This may help him make a sound decision growing up as a only child can be rough I have had many friends this way and they have always told me they wish they had a brother like me because they get so lonely. Express this to your husband in this manner he may come to realize that a sibling to play with and learn things from is very important good luck. God Bless!

Answer 6

You have received so excellent advice from "physandch"
I have seen this happen more than once!!!
The person that said you should have a second so the child does not end up a brat from 10 to 16 being an only child...
Let me tell you if you have one child or 10 children I feel they all are bratty during that age. It has nothing to do with the number of children it is an age thing as far as I am concerned. All children go through this. It is call "growing up"

Answer 7

I think it is better to wait 'till your husband realize that your 3 y/o needs a brother or a sister. Having a baby is not easy and trouble can exists between married couples because of children is in the way or this can be another problem to resolve. You are likely to create another problem that is not yet existing. Before you think about having another baby, think of your future funds, for your child's school -like college,this also includes babysitter, private school maybe or uniforms, tuition fees. If you are wealthy then by all means have a another baby and be happy i'm sure your husband will be happy too..

Answer 8

It would seem that you are contradicting yourself. You said "I really really wanted another one" and "I only want one if he does too" even though you've already admitted to yourself "I know he doesn't want anymore children". You need to start by admitting to yourself that you would like another child even though your husbands CURRENT opinion appears to be that he does not. If you are in a loving and trusting relationship (which hopefully you are in if you are looking to bring another child into this world) then you should not be hesitant to share your views and opinions with your husband and try to persuade him to your way of thinking, or at the least have an open discussion on the pros and cons of the possibility. You need to weigh in all the factors of such a decision, such as financial standing, enough space in your current living situation, and enough time to dedicate to such a future. The decision to have a new child should not be looked at just as some sort of learning tool for your current child (as your above arguments would seem to suggest). If the above is really what you are looking for a new child for, perhaps you should become active in some sort of community function where your child can socially develop with other people's children.

Answer 9

When I first became a Dad the finance part was hard on me! maybe that is why he doesn't want any more children. However I feel that is very important for a child to have a sibling have you ever been around an only child between the age of say 10 to 16 I have never been around one I could stand to be around!!!! BRATTY BRATTY BRATTY!!!!! talk to your husband find out why he don't want any more children. tell him your feelings communication is the KEY to any relationship. Good Luck!! from an old Dad

Answer 10

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