My husband is going overseas with the military. We will be apart for about a year. Lately he has been having a lot of dreams that I am cheating on him...he says I am not giving him any reason to think that...it is just a fear he has cuz it has been done to him before (previous relationship). He says it just feels so real when he wakes from the dream that he is angry at me for hours. I love him more than words can express and would never cheat on him. He has actually been the semi-unfaithful one in our relationship in the past, but I have forgiven him. How do I reassure him that I am not cheating, have no desire to cheat and will not cheat while he is gone???
2006-11-11 10:17:20 · 19 answers · asked by Proud_Army_Wife26 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Boy are you being manipulated. He has the nerve to be angry at youover a dream when he really did cheat on you? If I were you? I'd be the angry one. Tell him to get over it next time he gets angry and that you should be the angry one not him.
2006-11-11 10:20:11 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 7⤊ 0⤋
a relationship like yours can be stressful cuz you and him are apart for so long. i have been in ur shoes when the guy is over seas and thinks or dreams that your cheating. what i did was when he came on i sat down with him and explained that nothing was going on like cheating even though he might think. explain to him how much you truly love him and that you are not doing anything to mess up your relaionship. most of the time the person that makes it out that the other is cheating he or she is the one that is. not say your husband is cheating on you, in since he as in the past its going to make him worry that you are. that might be what the dreams are saying. dreams are just things that are on your mind when your sleeping. your mind some times does that cuz you have so much on your mind. your know your not cheating. maybe when he comes home next do something that he would never guess you would do. show him how much you love him and want to make it work. i wish you the best of luck and hope everything goes good for you
2006-11-11 18:27:28 · answer #2 · answered by wildncrazy_bi_gurl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has a guilty conscience. You may want to remind him not all people cheat or conduct theirs lives in this manner. Tell him your insulted he would think of you in these terms because you're a first class act. Semi cheated? Let him know you wouldn't lower yourself to even be a semi cheater although he did....he shouldn't assume you would stoop to his level, ever. Play up the insulted position because you should be insulted. Your not the ex or anyone like the ex, you're a special person . Ask him if you've ever done anything to even remotely resemble cheating, when he says no just simply say thank you.
2006-11-11 18:35:55 · answer #3 · answered by crkristy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A dream is the experience of envisioned images, sounds, or other sensations during sleep. The events of dreams are often impossible or unlikely to occur in physical reality, and are usually outside the control of the dreamer.
Tell him how much you love him or better write it down. Don’t worry about floral language or grammar. Writing down what you want to tell is a great way you to communicate. Letter writing can be a powerful way to communicate your thoughts and feelings, and if done along with talking it can increase intimacy in a relationship in surprising ways.
2006-11-11 18:43:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off do you guys pray together?
Try praying together, and for each other.
Secondly never say never. Third just continue to do what you've always been doing. He already told you that your not doing anything in particular to make him think that, it's just the devil playing tricks on his mind cause he's about to fight a senseless war and risk his life for a president that don't give 2 flying fu*k about him, ( BUT HIS COUNTRY LOVES HIM DEARLY FOR THE EFFORT!!) but anyway, just be kind, gentle, sweet, and loving to him. Stock up on your postage stamps, envelopes, and stationary. Send care packages as often as you can. You can't control his dreams, what you can control is how good your ''cat trap'' is to him before he leaves!! Make him see stars, and maybe he'll forget about those crazy dreams!
Good luck!
2006-11-11 18:27:20 · answer #5 · answered by NURSING FOR LIFE!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems he is seeing you in his mind as doing what he has done. If he has cheated on you then he is thinking you will cheat on him. There isn't a magical formula to solve this. All you guys have is trust and if he doesn't trust you then no matter what you say , he won't believe you. Tell him you will be here when he gets back and then he can either love you and take you back or not.
2006-11-11 18:27:45 · answer #6 · answered by Chuck C 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are just going to have to tell him how you feel about him and that you dont have the desires for another man. You cannot make him believe you, all you can do is be a good wife and hopefully he will get past his fears. You can also tell him that you know how much it hurt you when he did what he did and you would never make him feel the hurt that you have. Good Luck!
2006-11-11 18:21:35 · answer #7 · answered by cmsmith114 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One of the tactics cheaters use is to accuse the other person of cheating. That creates a diversion and puts you on the defensive. Beware. This guy is very likely to cheat on you while he is overseas.
2006-11-11 18:20:18 · answer #8 · answered by notyou311 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
like Dane cook said it back fires and we belive that the lady is cheating after we cheat and...Well unless he cheated and now thinks you are the cause...have him prove it to you that he loves you....but in a nice way, you tell im 5 things you love about him and have him tell you 5 things he loves about you.. Hopefully that helps
2006-11-11 18:59:35 · answer #9 · answered by Dip 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow,
Why do people say its a guilty conscious?
All you can do is reasure him that you love him.
Maybe write 2 times a week. AND MOST OF ALL SEND HIM PICS OF YOU AND OR THE FAMILY.
2006-11-11 18:29:35 · answer #10 · answered by Computer geek 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋