How do you deal with/cope with starting things over in your life?

Question

Like starting a new job, going to school in your 30's, starting a new life after being seperated/divorced. How did you cope with the adjustment? Any tips on how to relieve some of the stress for re inventing your life ?

Answer 1

It's not so easy.....Start small and be patient......If you try to start too much too soon you will become overwhelmed and unable to keep it together. Find someone....(sister for me)...that you can share time and talk with....some days are easier than others....Dont try to look too far into the future.....That can overwhelm you too.....Some days I lived just trying to get through hour to hour....putting one foot in front of the other....and sometimes it would be day to day.....I went out a lot at first...couldn't stand to be alone....but over time it gets better and I have learned to be content with myself....(not that I dont ever want someone else....) But I am taking advantage of the time I have to get to know "me".
My daughter gave me a magnet that says..."LIFE IS NOT ABOUT FINDING YOURSELF...ITS ABOUT CREATING YOURSELF".
It makes me feel better.....
Just HOLD ON and give yourself plenty of time and patience....

I also got a wonderful book,,,called "Crazy Time" by Abigail Trafford. It is the best book ever......It helped sooo much....I have reccommended it to a few other people and they have ALL loved it.....Get it.....
JUst "Soldier on" honey....and it WILL get better & easier

Answer 2

I went through a divorce 3 years ago and it was one of the hardest things I have ever went through. The things that stand out in my mind that helped the most is my kids, my family, and my friends. If I consumed myself with my kids and my job and that kept me busy. My friends really stepped up and kept me busy when my kids wasn't there. I would usually wear myself out and be to tired to think when I lay down. Trust me though, I am so much happier now and it will get better even though it don't look like it now.

Answer 3

I wish I had a REAL answer for you. I am currently in the process of several transitions in my life. The best I can tell you is, pick your closest and best friends, tell them what you're going through and what you need, and hold on tight. I have really found out who my true friends are these past couple weeks, and it's actually made for a better experience. Good luck to you!

Answer 4

When my marriage split up, I went into a deep depression. I did some silly things, and its only when I look back do I realise they were silly. The only thing that got me back on track was telling myself that I was sick of feeling like this. I worked out a personal plan for me to make ME feel better. I pampered myself....I went out and bought myself some new clothes, I lost some weight, I started to go to the gym. It takes a lot of strength to start anything new, so what in fact I was doing, was starting to make me feel good about myself. If you dont feel good about yourself then you wont feel confident, and it is confidence that will give you self determination. With confidence you can achieve anything because when you are confident in yourself, nothing anyone says will bring you down because you know you are just as good as they are. You are really on the right track because you mention going to school in your 30's. I did just that, I got a job and I went to University when I was 32, then I went on and studied other things at my local college. I think the last course I did was when I was 45....it was a drug and alcohol course. And it is only in the doing will you find the confidence everyone needs to achieve a new life. Its all about doing things that make you feel good. Surround yourself with positive people. Look at yourself in the mirror every day and tell yourself how wonderful you are. Dont fill your head with negative thoughts. Start believing you are a capable and intelligent person, just as capable as anyone else in this world and you will soon see positive changes in your life. It doesnt happen overnight, but it will happen. Just perserver, even when you are feeling down, get out and do things. Fill your mind with the positive, even if you dont believe it because the more positive things you feed yourself the more positive you will become and you will start believing it. Whatever it takes to make you look and feel good, then do it. Thinking about it wont achieve anything, its in the doing. Its good to get out of your comfort zone sometimes because when you find out you can do things you never thought you were capable of, will give you the personal strength to keep on going in that positive direction.

All the best in your new life. You can do.

Answer 5

My suggestion would be to take life one day at at time. Set daily goals. Do something that you enjoy each day even if its something small.

Also, meditation for 10 to 15 mins each morning before starting your day helps to relieve stress and help you focus on your daily goals.

Answer 6

Just do it without over-thinking. Don't call it "coping" call it embracing. Positive attitude sounds lame, but it really helps. It's all a big adventure, this life.

Answer 7

I'll let you know in a year... going through the same thing myself.

for now, I just take one day at a time.


.

Answer 8

set small short term goals and as you meet them make them bigger goals, that gives you a little different focus..... good luck...