I babysit for a women and she (the mom) I think is getting beat, I am very close to her and we are going out to eat tonight, what are the choices we have? what can we do? she has three childeren of her own? help?
2006-11-11 09:04:37 · 16 answers · asked by maltese_i_love 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She knows what she needs to do...Leave. However, you need to stay out of it and mind your own business. She doesn't need your advice.
2006-11-11 09:08:52 · answer #1 · answered by ManOfTheHour 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is such a complex situation. Everyone who looks on knowing a wife is being abused doesnt understand why they stay. They think they should just pack up and leave. I think that too, but until you actually talk to women who have been abused and find out the reasons these women stay, then you will never really understand all the complext mental, emotional and physical problems. There is a lot of fear, a lot of guilt, a hell of a lot of emotional problem thats needs to be dealt with before this woman will feel strong enough to leave her abusive marriage.
If I were you, I would ring your local domestic violence refuge and ask them what your best bet would be. Maybe they could explain to you a lot of psychological issues associated with women who are being abused. Ask them how is the best way to handle this.
If you say something to this woman, and she doesnt want to admit to being abused, then you may run the risk of her shutting down total communication with you because a lot of women do not want anyone else to know. As crazy as this may sound, a lot of women are conditioned by these beating to blame themselves. Like I said it is a very complex issue, and its not cut and dried. Sure, she needs to leave him, but before she can do that, she needs some professional help.
Its very hard to look on helplessly and see someone you care about being hurt. If you want to say something to her, I wouldnt be too heavy about it. I would casually say to her "Are you Ok?, I get the feeling that things arent going very well in your marriage" Give her the opening.....see if she will talk to you about it, if she is open about it, then you will know she wants some help. If she denies it just say to her, "well, you know I am here if you ever want to talk about anything". Doing it this way is less confrontive and does not run the risk of this woman retreating from you.
I still suggest before you go out to dinner with this woman, give the domestic violence refuge/shelter a ring and talk to someone who is experienced in these sorts of things. I think she will tell you, that until the woman is prepared to admit there is a problem, and thinks enough of herself to actually make a move, then there is not a lot anyone can do.
Good luck, she has a very good friend in you.
2006-11-11 17:22:16 · answer #2 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See if you have a local woman's shelter in your area and they will take her kids and her in. They will give her counseling and information on what to do to get her out of that situation.
Or have her call an abuse hot-line and someone there should be able to give her information. I have a number that you guys can try okay : it is 1-800-799-7233. This is the National Domestic Violence hot-line.
Do what you can as soon as you can to help your friend get out of this situation before her husband ends up hurting her permanently or killing her.
I hope this helps you guys out. Good Luck and take care!!!
2006-11-11 17:20:31 · answer #3 · answered by rockn75 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shes a grown woman and needs to get out of the relationship. First get a restraining order. Take the children and either go to a safe house and or shelter. They have womens groups for battered wives so she should contact social services. But she needs to make the first step and you should just stay out of it but be there as a friend when she needs to talk.
2006-11-11 17:16:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your wording doesnt make too much sense. If a husband is beating his wife. The wife needs to get away from him, and press charges against him, before he kills her. There are usually safe houses for such.
2006-11-11 17:09:38 · answer #5 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell this lady to leave her husband and not wait too get punched out. Buy a gun or a baseball bat and swing it at his head. This should send him out the door. If she doesn't want to do this, then she should pack her things and move on. No one needs to live this way in life. Cocoa
2006-11-11 17:24:36 · answer #6 · answered by cocoa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's not a whole lot you can do other than counsel her about it. Our old neighbor, and my wife's best freind, was abused by her husband. We called the police one night when we heard it happening, but whe they got there she protected him and said nothing was happening. No victim, no crime. The police can't do anything until she files the complaint. She finally left him, but it took several years more.
2006-11-11 17:38:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know she should report that to the police. It is a bad thing that she is getting beat up. And if u are not positive ask her and give her an advice.
2006-11-11 17:36:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you need to do is ask her if that is happening and i so, get her and the kids out of that house immediately.
Get a police if there are problems and then a lawyer to star a divorce.
2006-11-11 17:09:35 · answer #9 · answered by cass 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she should take him manhood away, they wont put her to jail..they will rule it an act of passion, plus shes a battered wife. she would get the kids to sleep over someone house, and when he goes to sleep, act like she wants to give him head and CHOP HIS **** OFF any man who beats his woman should be shot int he street, but thats the easy way out, CHOP IT!
2006-11-11 19:59:26 · answer #10 · answered by FunniUglyGuy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋