I met her. I met her! The girl of my dreams! Two days after I posted here on Yahoo I was hunting a certain kind of girl, I met her by complete accident at a women's counseling group session. I don't know if she's gay or straight yet. I do know she hugged me tightly, thinks I'm smart, and has apparently been through some abuse - she alluded to it in the session. Was it a man? A woman? I'm excited and don't know. Anyway this woman is so beautiful. Thick, curvy, dark, luscious, raven hair, intense eyes, such a cute little Sixties mod appearance...
Now here's the problem: I don't even know her name, and my best friend, who is straight, is her friend also. If I try to hook up with this girl through best friend, best friend will now know I'm gay. Not good as this is a religious community and my friend is very high up and very religious. It would ruin every Friday for me. Trust me. And I would lose the community.
But I WANT THIS GIRL!!! What should I doooooo???
2006-11-11 09:02:57 · 13 answers · asked by Heather M 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Hey Abqdan, it's not as simple as that. She's really a sweet lady and has helped me through a lot. It's just the way she was raised, and it's her limitation, I realize that, but she's not VIOLENTLY homophobic like wishing us death and no rights, etc... it's more like a slight "unease" around us, that kind of thing. I can't just drop her from my life. She truly is a good person. She just needs to open her mind more.
2006-11-11 09:10:54 · update #1
If you really want to meet her then I suggest you start talking to her at the group sessions and feel her out. Also you could try to have a little get together in which you get your homophobic friend to invite her. There are a number of ways you could try to get closer to her, but since this is a very religious community I would recommend that you do not act until you are 110% sure. There are many ways that a female will let you know that she is interested. One way that I always go by is eye contact. The eyes never ever lie. Good luck!
2006-11-13 05:28:19 · answer #1 · answered by ~T.O.M.B.O.Y.~ 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make up another reason why you need to talk to her and ask your homophobic friend where she goes to school or how he knows her or something. Try to find out somewhere she goes on a regular basis and go there. If you met her in a counseling session don't you think she'll come back? Or can't you ask the people holding the counseling sessions for her name?
I'd say if this person can make your life hell, don't blow your cover just yet.
2006-11-11 09:07:16 · answer #2 · answered by braennvin2 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You sound pretty sure you'd lose access to that community. I don't know how old you are, or whether your family is included in that, but I think those are some things to take into account. If you're in a place where you can make it on your own, and you're ready, I say go for it. If not, I'd definitely hold off. Besides...you might not need this friend to get to know the girl?
2006-11-13 05:44:27 · answer #3 · answered by Atropis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's more important to you? Staying friends with someone that would hate your guts if she actually knew you or use her to meet the girl you're interested in. Oh, and watch trying to get her contact info through a friend if you met her in a group counseling setting. You really run into confidentiality issues there.
2006-11-11 18:52:50 · answer #4 · answered by carora13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Red Flag 1 - Religious
Red Flag 2 - counseling group
Red Flag 3 - best friend will now know I'm gay
Your out ! This does not sound like a good situation.
2006-11-11 09:07:02 · answer #5 · answered by Jude M 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to get your priorities straight. What is more important finding out about a future relationship or other people's opinions? In my humble opinion some of the strongest relationships come out of friendships. So why is it so hard to befriend the girl find out more about her and give her the chance to find out more about you. That way, you're not knocking anyone's nose out of whack. If things develop at a later stage you can cross that bridge when you get to it. For now focus on friendship - something that doesn't have to be about your sexuality or turning your life upside down.
2006-11-11 09:12:19 · answer #6 · answered by waggy 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
hi,hey miss u ,well just don't pay mind to him he is a joke to himself an u should not listen to him at all ,ok this is a guy that needs help an u should not worry about this to much cause then u will get strees out because of him so next time just tell him look i don't need to hear this from u ok an just don't talk to me ok ,an just keep it short an to the point ok ,so i miss u an hope that ur ok an doing well love yah myfriend stay cool an don't let this person get to u ok bye now i just hope to hear from u e-mail me when u have the time ok bye
2016-05-22 05:49:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems like a good plan to use ur friend to gage the response of this girl that has caught ur attention but if u plan to use this u might taker some time and think it out complete of what the repercussions could be to ur friendship and with this girl who may in fact be str8 and then u would have No chance of even being friends with her
2006-11-11 09:33:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Contradiction in terms - "homophobic friend". The only way you could be friendly with such a person is to be homophobic yourself. Get Real. You need to drop this person from your life.
2006-11-11 09:06:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
NOTHING SHE MAY NOT BE GAY. This is why there is homophobia. You assume too much, and you do not even know if the girl likes girls or not. This is the main reason I do not like to be around lesbians.
2006-11-11 09:04:55 · answer #10 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋