What am i saying?

Question

ok. . i am going to write a poem. . one i wrote a while back and everyone tell me what they think i am saying. My mother got a trip out of this game for some reason. She is a regular Poetry Critic.


Let Me Lay with you
Letting eternity flow through
the holy pages of life
ripped from the book of the dead

let the night forever claim me
let the dirt forever age me
letting eternity flow through
the dreams melting away in my head

let the silence over come us
for never again will this soul
be blessed with temptation
or cursed with breath.

Answer 1

Dark...but good. I like it...the only thing that I can honestly say that I don't like about it is the fact that you made overcome into two words...that's my only complaint. Keep writing!

Answer 2

First off, You should not be concerned as to what others perceive in your poetry. That is the beauty of it. You write what you feel, and someone else can read your words and get something totally opposit of your feelings. You write very well, and this is an excellent poem.
Now, since you seem to want others perception of your work, whether it be what you actually meant or not....here is my reaction:
Someone you cared about very much has died and you want to join them in the deep sleep of forever...to forget the vibrancy of life and let death take over.