2006-11-11 08:01:32 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
unless one agrees to give in?
2006-11-11 08:02:52 · update #1
My bf who i am engaged to does not want kids and has and appointment for a vasectomy i am trying to talk him out of it because i want kids!
2006-11-11 08:06:44 · update #2
Not unless one of them gives in...no, it won't!
2006-11-11 08:03:44 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are many factors in this type of situation. Will the other one "ever" want to have kids? If that can be answered with a yes or no, then you'd have a definite answer... however we don't have that option here. It really will depend on how much the one who is wanting to have children, is willing to bend. That person might be willing to put off having children for a while... 5-10 yrs... but there will come a point where the issue will come up again.
So back to the very first point... which is finding out if there's a possibility the other person will ever want children. It can work .. yes.. but the one wanting them will have to give up on wanting children. I don't know your situation, but there are 2 types of people I have come across whom have said they didn't want children. The first is because they are concentrating on their career & trying to make a way for children later on down the road. The second is that they don't want children because should something ever go wrong with their relationship, they won't have child support to pay, nor a child to take care of.
2006-11-11 08:11:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, what are the odds that the other one will give in? Never go into a marriage thinking that you can change the other person's desires. That other person may never change their mind and that's okay. But are you going to be okay with that? You have to think realistically because if later on you get upset with the other person for NOT wanting kids they won't understand. In their mind you've known from the start that they didn't want children. Make sense?
2006-11-11 08:07:26 · answer #3 · answered by Angela G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can NEVER change his views on this, so don't even try.
You want kids, and he does not. Suppose you got pregnant. Would you want him to leave you? Stay, but forever resent you? Be emotionally unavailable to the child?
Big fat NO.
Best bet is to move on and find a someone with more similar goals, values, and views. Premarital counseling is SO valuable because it gets you to ask yourself the hard questions that you never even thought about (but WILL become an issue).
If you agree to disagree, then maybe you could pursue a career in childcare or mentorship areas. Maybe you could find happiness in educating children, or social work.
Here's a link for some of those hard questions www.drphil.com about if you are ready to consider marriage.
2006-11-11 08:24:29 · answer #4 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if one gives in the marriage will not be a happy one.
In time the person who wanted kids will feel resentful & unfulfilled plus if you have kids then the one who didn't want kids will be resentful to you and the child. Kids are expensive and limit your social life, finances, and even the marriage.
I don't think a marriage where one wants kids and one doesn't can ever work out happily.
2006-11-11 08:08:59 · answer #5 · answered by madamspud 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that will not work he can not do that if you want kids...he is being absolutly and assshole.... if he dont want any kids and there is no way to change his mind let him go.. you have the rights to have babies..I would go on and on about what to say to him and stuff but the true is that if he is so self center to want to have a vasectomy with out considering your feelings and what you need and want then you know what you need to do.. if you stay with him and decide your love for him is bigger than your need to have children then that is something you are going to have to live with..and believe me motherhood is beutiful you dont want to miss out on that... good luck...
2006-11-11 08:35:10 · answer #6 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope..you better get a dog! Don't push him into doing something he doesn't because it'll turn out for the worst. My sister doesn't want kids and if she meets someone that does have kids or wants kids she'll tell them right off the bat. She'll get out of the relationship if he presists her.
2006-11-11 08:18:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Highly unlikely. And, they stand the chance of developing some very deep resentment toward the other. Marriage has to be based on some mutual goals, especially the big things.
2006-11-11 08:03:56 · answer #8 · answered by powtyrone 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Doubtful... it will always be a point of arguement and eventually hurt (ie, the person who doesn't want kids will always feel as if they are disappointing the person who wants kids.) it would be unwise to get married with such a huge issue unresolved.
2006-11-11 08:07:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got divorced because I didn’t want children, and my former spouse did. Richard Gere got divorced because he didn’t want kids, and his supermodel wife did. The list goes on.
You have no need for kids. Get on with your life. Travel, learn things. Kids are for people whom don’t have a life.
2006-11-15 06:00:13 · answer #10 · answered by Marvin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This problem has to be solved before getting married.
If this problem arise after getting married, there has to be a solution like having kids BUT after certain time...........like if she doesn't want kids for her career, give her some space to make career and when she reach her goals, plan for kids...........
2006-11-11 08:05:55 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋