Why do people stay in relationships that are abusive?

Question

verbally and physically abusive people cant leave their mate cause de built an unhealth codependency.......... why cant they walk away.. i did once i let go ................... happiest man ever

Answer 1

Well, you answered part of the question yourself co-dependency. They are also embarresed confused lonely hurt scared. It is a pattern and until you are comfortable enough and not afraid of what may happen will the other person leave. It takes alot of strength and guts to get out of a abusive relationship because most of these people see themselves as failures already. They need to learn to understand there is help out there and they can survive on there own.

Answer 2

Kudo's for having that strength...but some people are raised to accept mistreatment as normal...they don't know any better. Some get told everday that they are worthless and after a while you believe it. Some times there are physical treats and violence...sometimes there is no where for the person to go. The other person has cut off all supports. Sometimes the abused becomes so damaged that the reality is they can't walk away. They have no self image beyond what they hear all the time. I could give you a hundred other reasons....best advice is to google the article "why doesn't she leave" it is all about the reasons...btw these are my personal observations...I juast got out of an abusive relationship but it hasn't stopped the abuse. Now it is in court and now it is legal abuse.

Answer 3

i'm stealing some of this from the celestine prohecy. it's kind of a hokey book but it makes a lot of good points.


imagine that everyone starts their lives as a C. that's right- everyone is a letter- C. The goal is to become a whole person- an O. But you have this gap to fill. Most people never fill it by themselves. they remain unwhole and uncomplete. But if you find another c, you can put two c's together to make an O. So when you get into a relationship with a C,you feel whole again. they complete you. If the relationship turns abusive, some people are strong enough to move on- often finding that in enduring this abuse- they've bcome an O all by themselves. Some people, however, are still a C feeding off this other C so they can feel whole. They would rather continue to be abused and violated- so long as they can keep the feeling of completeness. It's sick, i know. That's why i say you should get into a serious relationship until you become a whole person. That way, you can ejoy and revel in love without depending on it to support your ego and self esteem.

Answer 4

You can't be serious? Why in the world do you need to ask this? Common sense dictates that you leave. Is common sense something that evades you? As you had to ask this question here, or anywhere tells me yes, but I will give you an answer anyway as clearly you can't think for yourself. RUN, DON'T WALK, AWAY FROM AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP.

Answer 5

I stayed in a abusive relationship for 5 years and the reason why I didn't leave was because in some sick way I still felt that I was loved and that was good enough for me. Plus I hate being a lone I was scared to start over. Still scared & lost. Still don't understand why it happened to me especially when I catered to him. I also thought that no one else would want me or love me. Cause I figured that I was "damaged" and who wants to be with someone thats been in that much pain and has so many problems, who doesnt know how to be in a real loving relationship. You stay where you know!

Answer 6

Some men and women have low self esteems and think they cant do any better.Not everyone has the courage to do what you did to walk away. I am sure that it took you some time before it happened some people just put up with more things than others. Thats life you live and learn.

Answer 7

The prospect of being on your own is scary. It's much easier to be in familiar territory, even if that means verbal or physical abuse. However, taking control of your own environment, although sometimes very difficult emotionally and/or financially, it is also very rewarding in the long run.

Answer 8

Because sometimes its easier to stay in our same sad situaton than to move on. Sometimes its just the "path of least resistance" even though it is still hard. Real power and courage force you to rise up and clean yourself off and dress your self in pride. many don't have that kind of courage or energy, so they just sit in their same situation. Believe it or not, in their minds...it actually seems "easier"

Answer 9

Because these people were brought up in the same, (or similar), kind of relationship and they don't really know any better. It's a familiar scenario to them.

Answer 10

as they say love is blind. walk away is sometimes very hard. and if you have a bad bad man after you all the time it is harder.. but if anyone does walk away good for them life is to short to waist on abuse.