Why are people so angry and defensive?

Question

I feel like I can't say anything without someone getting mad or offended or whatever. Most of the time I don't even have bad intentions and people still get angry. I'm not trying to hurt anyone and yet people think I am.

Why do people get so worked up over nothing? It's just life, be peaceful.

Answer 1

I agree, but it takes all kinds.
A lot of people hold very solidly to a few ideas (Religious, political, etc...). I think these ideas makes them feel safe in the world. Any challenge to these ideas, no matter how benign, is often viewed as a vicious attack on a whole system of morality.

Answer 2

Anger is a response to a violation of ones inner righteousness. I don't mean in a religious sense, but it also applies in the same way. They have this way of seeing things operating in a way that is in line with their worldview of how things should be or how they wish life was on a personal level. When they express anger it is an attempt at displaying the will in such a way that the thing that incited the violation conforms in a way more righteous to their own volitional wishes. Apparantly you rub people the wrong way. If this is such a reoccuring phenomenon I would suggest that you try looking at yourself as the problem and not the whole world of angry people.

Answer 3

You have a gift, my dear of being peaceful. You are lucky. The world today is crazy. We are all living in schizophrenic times...times where reality and fantasy are difficult to tell apart. Values, ethics and civility are being discarded by "civilizations" that supposedly have the makeup to be "civilized". Very few people have that special place, value system or group of people anymore that they can RELY on. Very few people have a basis for a spiritual life anymore, either.

With all of these items grouped together, simmered to boiling and stirred up enough will equal a world of VERY angry and defensive people. Our world is simply a truly "Strange Brew" today (a great song by the group "Cream"). Jim Morrison and the Doors also sang of weird times in the song, "Riders on the Storm". Knowing that this time was portended not only in religious books (the Bible, the Koran and the Bhagavat Gita) but by classic rock icons makes it a bit easier to stomach daily.

Don't take these person's actions personally. They are all suffering. I would suggest when talking to people to keep topics very neutral. Don't talk religion or politics, for example. Keep information about yourself to a minimum until you can TRUST this/these person/people. Distance from people you cannot trust. Be careful of new acquaintances.

Keep yourself peaceful with the people and beings who matter to YOU. If you have made 2 friends in your life whom you can truly love and trust, you are RICH indeed! Good luck, dear.

Answer 4

There are two possible explanations here...

First, not all people are angry and defensive so it may be your perception is off...and that you perceive people to be more angry and defensive than they really are.

Second, for the people that are angry - it usually has little to do with you. People are stressed out, trapped in bad situations in their personal lives, have financial problems, have relationship problems, etc... before you ever showed up

What exactly are you saying to people that pisses them off?

Answer 5

Maybe it's the world we live in today. Life is so stressful, a lot of people are always on edge. Not that that's an excuse, but that may be a factor to consider.

Answer 6

Maybe your tone? Genuinely listen to yourself the next time you offend someone and put yourself in their shoes. Maybe it wasn't what you said, but the way you said that made the person feel like you were being condescending or had an attitude.

Answer 7

You need to take a look inward. Whenever you come to the conclusion "it's not me, it's everyone else" this is a huge red flag that you have a real problem. With patient introspection, find out what it is that makes you so off-putting.

Answer 8

Ask someone if your general tone or attitude is offensive. Maybe a good friend or counselor can help you figure it out. Try to listen to what they say and be willing to grow. It will be beneficial to all concernred.

Answer 9

Written English is hard and harsh. Without, face to face communication, English is often misunderstood by the reading party.

Answer 10

People are usually that way because they lack self confidence. Try getting them more self confident and be less agressive and they'll react better to your intentions.