Should I get an abortion?

Question

I am 16, and 2 months pregnant. I am not ready for a child, and have big plans for the future. I go to prep school, and am planning on attending Yale. If i have this baby, it will mess up my plans, but I am already quite attached to him/her.

Answer 1

This is a real toughie and nobody really knows the answer but you.

Here are some things to think about...

Do you have support from the father or your parents? Would you have to bring the baby up on your own?

Would you be able to live with yourself if you went through with the abortion? I took the morning after pill when I fell pregnant (after my contraception failed) and the pill didn't work. I was then left with the same choice as you. I booked an appointment to go see a consultant about a termination and found that, like you, I had become attached to the baby. I couldn't even face turning up to the appointment to discuss the procedure - let alone go through with it. My son turns 13 next year and I wouldn't be without him.

Could you not defer college for a year whilst you have the baby and then go back? Having a baby doesn't mean the end of your life, if you are strong and determined enough you can have a child and a career.

I'm not going to lie, it is really difficult bringing up a child, and there is never an ideal time to have one (if we waited until there was, no children would ever be born!) but with help and support from your friends, family and your partner you should be able to have your baby and do the college thing.

On the flipside of things, if you are really sure that you couldn't possibly cope with a baby then perhaps a termination would be the right thing to do (especially if you don't have a support network of people to lean on) If, however, you have even the tiniest shred of doubt about having an abortion, then don't do it - you may screw up your life by torturing yourself with guilt and "what ifs" for the rest of your life.

Go see your Doctor and talk things through, they may wish to refer you for some counselling and it might be what you need to collect your thoughts together and come to your final decision.

Good luck xx

Answer 2

First I want to say that this is a very personal decision and I would never tell you what to do with your body. I know that some women don't want men telling them what to do on this sensitive issue.

But, since you asked I would advise against an abortion on the basis that you can have a very happy and successful life with all of your dreams and still have the baby. Does this complicate things? Of course it does. But if you truly want to achieve something you can still do it as a mother.

I can't give you specific advice as there is a lot that you don't tell, like how your family will react, will they be supportive, etc., but I know that this is the baby's only chance. You will have other chances. Often we take other roads than those planned to achieve our goals and dreams. Please consider this.

Answer 3

This is a decision only you can make. My mother always warned me to know what decision I would make before I got pregnant because once those hormones kick in the decision is unbelieveably hard. If you want to keep your child, go for it, but realize that you may never make it to Yale. In your case i don't think adoption would be an option.
There are women who can be a mom and get an education, but the chances of having a child at 16 and getting into Yale depend entirely on how much support you will get from your family. I can't imagine being able to focus on a child and be successful enough in school to get into Yale. Not only will they be looking for stellar grades, but volunteering, internships, and all kinds of extracurricular activities as well. Not to mention, they will not accept you if they do not believe you will be able to devote yourself entirely to their high level of discipline and expectations. If you are planning on getting scholarships, you will most probably be overlooked in favor of students without children because you will be seen as a poor investment or high risk in comparison.

I'm just trying to be realistic. If you want to keep your baby, perhaps you should stay just as devoted to your studies as you are now, but have a few fallback schools in mind. As you can see, your priorities are already changing. Chances are good you will be happy as a mom, and as a college graduate from a school that's less competitive. You will probably also be happier in a less competitive school anyway with a baby, as I bet you wouldn't even have time for yor kid if you were dealing with Yale's curriculum and expectations.

Of course, you also need to consider how you're going to afford a baby AND college...

Answer 4

An abortion is a serious thing. From personal experience it is very hard to go through. But if you think its the only way for you it's your right. But also there is adoption. You child could have a wonderful life, even if you're not the one to raise him/her. There are a lot of couples who can't have kids. You just need to consider your options before you do anything. What about the father's wishes?

Answer 5

This Site Might Help You.

RE:
Should I get an abortion?
I am 16, and 2 months pregnant. I am not ready for a child, and have big plans for the future. I go to prep school, and am planning on attending Yale. If i have this baby, it will mess up my plans, but I am already quite attached to him/her.

Answer 6

Only YOU can make decisions regarding your life and the life of your child.

But if you want my advice, here it is:

Don't get an abortion. I had my son young, and I still graduated from college and did just fine. If you terminate your baby's life before he or she has a chance to be born, I guarantee you will regret that decision for every day that you live. I know many women who have gotten abortions, and every one of them regrets it. Every one.

It is perfectly possible to have a career and a fulfilling life with a child. In fact, having a tiny person who depends entirely upon you for his or her future may give you the drive you need to keep pushing to succeed-- at least, that's what happened to me.

16 is early to have a child, but it's not impossible. Not at all. Your big plans can easily expand to fit a child. And once you see that child, you'll be grateful you made the right choice.

Answer 7

Ultimately it is up to you, but there are other options besides abortion, like giving it to someone who can not have a child and wants one. You do have to grow up sometime and take responsibility for your actions. If you weren't ready for the responsibility of a child, then you shouldn't have never put yourself in the position where you could possibility conceive one. They are many affective forms of birth control to prevent these situations.

Answer 8

I just wanted to say that I don't think you should have an abortion because me and my husband have tried to have a baby for over 5 years and found out we can't have children at all so our only option is to find a child to adopt. Adoption agencies cost 10,000 - 100,000 dollars to adopt a child. We would love to adopt a child so we can have the privelege to know what it would be like to be parents and to know what it would feel like to be parents and know what all the people out there that have kids have we would like to have a family of our own. So who knows you might be our Angel sent from God to give us the chance at being parents. If you ever need to talk to someone you can always contact me in my e-mail [e-mail] or on Yhoo Messenger my screen name is kitten16_18 you can talk to me about anything anything at all if you ever need someone to talk to don't hesitate to contact me anytime day or night I will always be here if you need to talk to.

Answer 9

Sweetheart I was 15 and pregnant, and my baby didnt mess with any of my plans. I'm still going towards my goals. Your baby will bring you nothing but joy in your life! I'm sure your family will help you with anything you need. If your still with the father, then I'm sure he'll be there for you too. I wasn't ready,but believe me you get ready quick. It's like your mother instincts kick right in. I'm sure that you are not ready to deal with the consequences from an abortion. I've heard that it messes with you badly, and sum women have to go to counseling everyday. I hope i've helped you with your question, and I hope I help you save your unborn child's life. If your not ready,then maybe consider adoption or keep the baby in the family by having one of your family members adopt the child. That would be good for you and your future. Best Of Wishes! I'm 17 now and my baby has brought nothing but joy and happiness to me. I'm still with the father, so that makes it easier on us both.

Answer 10

I was pregnant with triplets I was supposed to abort them all I got attached to two and now I have 2 10 year olds with HFA and OCD the 3rd one was killing me with pain and I aborted him 6 mo. in so abort your child and have another one its simple.