people touching me now Im pregnant?

Question

Another question for all mummies to be. Im only 3 months but look around six, with a fair bit of bloating. Standing at a bus stop the other day an old couple got chatting to me. I mentioned I was pregnant the old man lurched at me, hand out trying to feel my stomach. This is the first time this has happened and I felt physically sick and wanted to slap him. Does this happen a lot as u get bigger and how do u deal with it?

amysweet - Well I didn't I moved and pushed his hand away.

w - LOL well I don't need one now, the pregnancy has sorted that out. But if I ever do I'll remember your advice!

Answer 1

that happens to my sister all the time.
whenever we go out in public some people think its OK to go up and rub her belly.
she puts her hand out to their belly, and they usually get the mesage.

Answer 2

Oh my! I'm afraid you're right. Although I'm not a "touchy" person normally, I have, on several occasions, patted the bellies of pregnant women. Of course, the circumstances were quite different than those you have described. I would never dream, for example, of touching a complete stranger. Neither would I "lurch" at anyone. A gentle pat, with a "Hi, Baby" to acknowledge the "little one" inside, has always been more my style. Also, and likely most importantly, I am a woman - who, by the way, had her pregnant belly (many years ago) patted far too many times to count ! However, it has never occurred to me at all that touching without invitation (no matter how innocent your intentions are), might make many expectant mothers uncomfortable. In the future, I will certainly take this into consideration. Thank you for teaching me a valuable lesson. Hopefully, others will learn from your question, as well...

PEACE

Answer 3

Considering your situation, I would like to suggest that you possibly go and see a midwife. They are almost always women and tend to take a more laid back, hands off approach and are much more willing to work within your limits. Getting comfortable and making a friend with the Midwife will more than likely help you through the exams (after the initial one most are strictly external until the very end when occasionally they want to check dilation but you might be able to work something out there. Do you have a significant other that you don't mind touching you there? You could take them with you to the appointment and ask the Doctor or Midwife (whichever you choose to see, I greatly prefer Midwives because they are much more personal emotionally) if they can either help with the exam or with guidance do the PAP swab themselves. I know I'll probably get ragged on for this but since I personally feel an occasional glass of wine to relax, even during pregnancy, is ok maybe you could try one before your pelvic exam. Drinking is not advised but in your situation to help ease the stress and tension a bit it might be appropriate. If you need to chat some more or would like me to try and come up with some more suggestions, feel free to email me! Best of luck, things will be fine but PLEASE get in for Pre-Natal care ASAP. The sooner the better.

Answer 4

Oh my yes! I hated it too. I don't know why strangers feel it's okay to touch a woman just because she's pregnant. How did I deal with it? Well, I was only pregnant once and each time it happened it usually stunned me into silence. I think though that I generally just made an excuse to leave and walked away. I'm sure someone here can give you some suggestions on something tactful to say.

Answer 5

I would handle it the same way that I handle strangers wanting to touch my children. Simply back away, or stop them with your hand, tell them 'don't touch me (or don't touch my child)'. If they ask why, or try and give a good reason, just tell me that you don't know them and that they are being rude. if you must, explain that pregnant or not, its still your body. Ask them if you can rub their stomache.

If they manage to get their hands on you before you can stop them, then reach over and start rubbing their belly and then when they get weirded out, say 'well how do you think i feel?

Answer 6

I feel ya, people touched my stomach all the TIME. I tried to be nice, they are just trying to enjoy some of the joy that your pregnant belly puts out there. But just wait, it'll get worse after the baby comes. I actually had people I didn't even know try to kiss my son. Sweet, but not very hygienic.

Answer 7

Pretty much when you're pregnant, your stomach becomes public property. I think that because people are still amazed at how we (women) make new people inside of our bodies that they want to have some part in it. Also, my grandmother told me that it's an old polish tradition to rub a pregnant woman's belly. It was supposed to bring both mother and 'rubber' good luck.

Answer 8

When people see a pregnant belly they think they have the right to touch it!! It happened to me all the time! I just tried to bear with it. I didn't want to be rude, even though I was thinking about slapping them in the face :)

Answer 9

You will have this a lot. People are weird and feel the need to touch your big belly, Nobody knows why. I had a lot of family who would touch my belly and say "You get bigger every time I see you!" and that didn't bother me so much.

Answer 10

I have to say, as a man, that I have to stop myself doing the same thing. It IS NOT a sexual thing. Rather, it is an acknowledgement that you are very special at the moment. There is something incredible about a woman bringing new life from her body.

Having said that, I do stop myself, and would never do it unless invited. His actions were not appropriate, but don't misunderstand them.

Answer 11

i know what you mean. i hated it when people would give me that kind of attention!
i guess people just want to share in the joy of expecting mothers.
but what you have to remember is, if you don't want to be touched, just be nice about it. if you see the person your talking to reach for your tummy, start talking about how much you don't like it.(don't be mean, though i know how difficult it can be)
most people will get the hint and refrain from doing so.
good luck with your little blessing.