This is a stupid question, i am an adult, i know better but ... i am married , happily, and i keep obsessing over a lost friendship (just a friendship nothing more) who is a man. on/off i think, on/off i don't. what should i really do?
2006-11-11 06:05:45 · 19 answers · asked by j 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
to the person who talked about kids down below, its not freakin love, its a good friend so keep quiet if yo dont know all the details
2006-11-11 06:16:52 · update #1
u are obsessing because the friendship was not resolved. i say speak to your husband and see what he thinks. your subconscious is telling u something about this person. explore your options and find out whats going on. this person may need your help in doing something or he may have been in trouble and u need to help him get out of a situation. it could be so much. u need to tell your husband whats going on and go from there.
2006-11-11 06:10:49 · answer #1 · answered by special 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think this is a dumb question at all. The friendships we had when we were single were very important. When you start a family, you sometimes lose contact, Work kids marriage= no time. But later when you have more time, of course you miss that person, this was a friend, some one you cared a bout. It would be cold if you never thought of them again. I had a best friend, from age 7 to 17, we had a falling out our senior year in High school, lost touch for 20 years, then one day I saw her sister and she gave me my old Friends phone #, It took me a couple of weeks to get the nerve to call her up, but finally I did. She was surprised, but happy to hear from me.We must have talked for an hour over the phone. She lives in a another state so I haven't gotten to see her, but once in a while, we write each other, also we got to talk a bout why are friendship had dissolved, as teenagers, we both felt a lot better, and it was nice to know we had never forgotten each other. If you have the chance, look up your old friend, even if you only say "Hi',I didn't forget you, I bet he would be happy to hear from you.
2006-11-11 14:27:22 · answer #2 · answered by Kimberly H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From a guys standpoint, if the person is nothing more than a friend, look him up. If you are afraid it might be more than a friendly thing, and are truly happily married, let it go. If it's a friend, your husband should have no problem with it. Women should have friends of both sexes, jut like guys should.
2006-11-11 14:11:54 · answer #3 · answered by Eric B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did the same thing with a guy from high school. I even dreamed about him and I was married! Then one day I saw his wife at a store and we talked. She had a small baby with her. I asked if it was their new baby. She looked sad and said it was Dan's baby by another woman that he had had an affair with. Anyway, it popped my bubble of my perfect man. It tells me that he is a cheater and I was lucky not to have banked my future on him. The dreams stopped. I still think of him now and then, but not in the same way.
It might not hurt to look him up. I just hope it works out for you the same way it did me. If you have a good husband, I think it is ok to 'look', but do not touch. Satisfy your curiousity, though. Good luck and sweet dreams.
2006-11-11 14:23:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's not unusual at all. Most people think about a lost friend or love and wonder "what might have been." However, if you are actually obsessing you should talk to a therapist.
2006-11-11 14:09:02 · answer #5 · answered by notyou311 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Forget about it. The grass always looks greener on the other side. I hope you resolve this before bringing children into your marriage, or else, they will pay the price. Divorce and child custody is tearing America's families apart. The kids are heartbroken and left to deal with new step parents sooner or later.
2006-11-11 14:12:36 · answer #6 · answered by honiebyrd 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to stop obsessing over another guy and pay attention to your own husband. As long as you see the grass as greener on the other side, you'll never be happy with where you are.
2006-11-11 14:09:44 · answer #7 · answered by Genny 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Its not a stupid question. I looked for my first love, remember that one. Well, I never found him but I heard from his cousin who told me he is doing good. That kinda did it for me. I always wondered how he was and what he was doing. It is not like your going to run away with this man. If you went to school with him try classmates.com. I found my ex there well not him but his cousin.
2006-11-11 14:11:37 · answer #8 · answered by cinnominx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget him and move on . It could cause trouble for you if you pursue it and its not really worth that . Or is it ? Ask your husband if he minds you talking to him and if he doesn't then contact him to say hi. If its innocent then there shouldn't be a problem .
2006-11-11 14:10:07 · answer #9 · answered by IT'S JUST ME ! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
spend a day to yourself, eat ice cream, go to a day spa, just relax and think about it. try and let go of it. you're happily married, you dont need him. however, if he was a good friend, you might want to work things out? either way, its up to you.
another thing that helps is to just talk about it. cheesy, yes, but it does help.
2006-11-11 14:09:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋